Daughter and wife do not see need for Catholic education and Sunday obligation

[YinYangMom]

buffalo:

I have been experiencing a similar thing.

Fr Corapi said " I am not going to hell for any of you" referrring to the fact he was bound to preach the truth.

I told my kids that it is God given duty as a father to tell them the truth and that when they make their decisions they will never be able to say Dad didn’t teach them I repeated the above quote from Fr Corapi.

I also remind them of the 4th Commandment. I try to explain that Mass is the most important thing for Catholics, the source and summit of our faith. I tell them it is my duty and (I am not going to hell for any of them) I take it seriously that I get them to Mass.

Oh yes, the duty thing…that has been at the crux of our discussion with the kids all along as well… especially when we comment on the various television programming…they’d start to sigh and say, can’t we just enjoy it for what it is? and we’d say, not until after we teach you what’s wrong with it from the catholic perspective because we’re your parents and when we married we promised to raise you in the faith. It was a good way to instill the Catholic view of marriage too, from a young age, so now that they’re teens they appreciate how well we’ve honored our sacramental marriage. They’ve hugged and thanked us numerous times for being true to the faith and teaching them the faith because their lives seem, for the moment, much more fulfilling and peaceful than their friends’ dramatic lives.

When my son said he wasn’t ready for confirmation I told him that decision would be his to make, but as his parents we are obliged by the Church to make sure we give him the information he needs and he, as a baptized Catholic and our son, have the obligation to read/listen to the materials we provide. And so we visited bookstores, different websites, listened to CDs and in the end he said he was ready. We were nervous of course, and we prayed a lot, but keeping calm helped a lot.

 

[KCT]

I’m sorry to hear you and your wife are at odds over such an important subject. Are you praying and sacrificing for your relationship? That’s where I’d start, especially since discussions have been heated. --KCT

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

SulEagan:

They view my insistence on the above as evidence of my dictatorial, outmoded beliefs.

My wife thinks I am causing rebellion in my teenager.

“None of the other parent’s insist on rigorous Sunday Mass attendance”.

What’s a Dad to do?

Thanks.

If all the other parents jumped off a cliff, would they want you to do that, too?

You don’t say that your wife doesn’t attend Sunday Mass, just that she thinks your daughter shouldn’t have to do it so she doesn’t want her to become “rebellious”. Teenagers find all sorts of ways to rebel- if not about Mass, about something else.

I can’t say I recommend my mother’s method. She would make us bring back the bulletin to prove we went to Mass. Well, the bulletins were left in the vestibule in a very large city church with lots of doors. In and out, no problem, and off to breakfast in a restaurant, then home with the bulletin.

When our kids were teenagers, they could go to ANY Mass, as long as they actually went to a real Mass at a bonafide Catholic parish. If they were not going with a group of kids and parent we knew who was driving, we took them…and either went in after them and sat on the opposite side away from the teens, or waited in the car in the parking lot (good time to read the paper, pray a roasry, etc.). We never told them which we were going to do. If we waited in the car, it was because we were darn sure they were thinking of bolting, and we went to Mass ourselves at another time (when we could concentrate).

Many of the Catholic schools and Rel Ed programs in our area require homily notes, some as early as first grade, and as late as high school seniors.

Finally, there is Teen Life Mass, which often has an activity and some sort of catechesis before and after.

 

[BlestOne]

buffalo:

I have been experiencing a similar thing.

Fr Corapi said " I am not going to hell for any of you" referrring to the fact he was bound to preach the truth.

I told my kids that it is God given duty as a father to tell them the truth and that when they make their decisions they will never be able to say Dad didn’t teach them I repeated the above quote from Fr Corapi.

I also remind them of the 4th Commandment. I try to explain that Mass is the most important thing for Catholics, the source and summit of our faith. I tell them it is my duty and (I am not going to hell for any of them) I take it seriously that I get them to Mass.

Hi Buffalo,
I agree with telling the kids it is your duty as a father (in my case mother) to steer them in the right direction but I think the reason that I may not have had this problem is that I have always taught them that it is a celebration, and we are invited. It is up to us to not just “submit” to our faith but to celebrate it! When the kids were younger, if I told them I was too sick to go to mass they walked to mass so they didn’t miss mass. When they got older, they drove if I wasn’t going (very rare occurance). I am proud of my kids, they have rebelled in many ways but never about going to mass, and I can live with that!

 

[TOME]

I have a question that is related to this thread. I have my own opinion which certainly come out through my question, however, I am open to change. Also, my question is addressed to those parents whose children had received the Sacrament of Confirmation. My question is, When the child received the Sacrament of Confirmation the responsibility of living the Faith or rejecting our Faith is the child’s and the parents had proclaimed, normally through the Pastor or the person running the Confirmation program proclaimed to the Bishop that all the candidates were ready to receive this Sacrament and its responsibilities?

 

[buffalo]

From the Catechism:

V. WHO CAN RECEIVE THIS SACRAMENT?

[1306](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/1306.htm’) Every baptized person not yet confirmed can and should receive the sacrament of Confirmation.123 Since Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist form a unity, it follows that "the faithful are obliged to receive this sacrament at the appropriate time,"124 for without Confirmation and Eucharist, Baptism is certainly valid and efficacious, but Christian initiation remains incomplete.

1307 For centuries, Latin custom has indicated “the age of discretion” as the reference point for receiving Confirmation. But in danger of death children should be confirmed even if they have not yet attained the age of discretion.125

[1308](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/1308.htm’) Although Confirmation is sometimes called the “sacrament of Christian maturity,” we must not confuse adult faith with the adult age of natural growth, nor forget that the baptismal grace is a grace of free, unmerited election and does not need “ratification” to become effective. St. Thomas reminds us of this:

Age of body does not determine age of soul. Even in childhood man can attain spiritual maturity: as the book of Wisdom says: "For old age is not honored for length of time, or measured by number of years. "Many children, through the strength of the Holy Spirit they have received, have bravely fought for Christ even to the shedding of their blood.126 1309 *Preparation *for Confirmation should aim at leading the Christian toward a more intimate union with Christ and a more lively familiarity with the Holy Spirit - his actions, his gifts, and his biddings - in order to be more capable of assuming the apostolic responsibilities of Christian life. To this end catechesis for Confirmation should strive to awaken a sense of belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ, the universal Church as well as the parish community. The latter bears special responsibility for the preparation of confirmands.127

[1310](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/1310.htm’) To receive Confirmation one must be in a state of grace. One should receive the sacrament of Penance in order to be cleansed for the gift of the Holy Spirit. More intense prayer should prepare one to receive the strength and graces of the Holy Spirit with docility and readiness to act.128

[1311](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/1311.htm’) Candidates for Confirmation, as for Baptism, fittingly seek the spiritual help of a sponsor. To emphasize the unity of the two sacraments, it is appropriate that this be one of the baptismal godparents.129

 

[TOME]

Buffalo, thank you for the your response about Confirmation. My question, however, is about those who have received this Sacrament in the Roman Rite (as opposed to the Eastern Rite when Confirmation and Eucharist are normally received together and often as infants). Doesn’t the responsibility for ones faith move from the parents to the individual Confirmed, especially since the parents and Pastor have to attest that the child has received the necessary catechesis and is ready to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation that includes not only the Graces of the Sacrament but the responsibilities as well?