Daughter has a question

[Dave_H]

My daughter has made it known to me that she is not ready for confirmation. I respect that decision and am glad she has not made her decision based upon what her friends are doing.
Having said that she would like to know if she can still receive communion and if it would be a grave sin if she were not confirmed.
Thanks and God bless

 

[Phemie]

My daughter has made it known to me that she is not ready for confirmation. I respect that decision and am glad she has not made her decision based upon what her friends are doing.
Having said that she would like to know if she can still receive communion and if it would be a grave sin if she were not confirmed.
Thanks and God bless

Yes she can still receive Communion. No, it’s not a sin but Catholics are supposed to be confirmed. I wonder why she feels she’s not ready – since really, if you are ready for Communion you’re ready for Confirmation.

 

[1ke]

Perhaps she is confused about who is doing the confirming and what it is they are confirming.

The *Bishop *does the confirming, and he is confirming her baptism. Confirmation completed baptism, and every Catholic is obliged to receive this sacrament at the time the bishop designates.

The idea that she is “not ready” pretty much tells me she doesn’t understand what it is.

 

[Corki]

Perhaps she is confused about who is doing the confirming and what it is they are confirming.

The *Bishop *does the confirming, and he is confirming her baptism. Confirmation completed baptism, and every Catholic is obliged to receive this sacrament at the time the bishop designates.

The idea that she is “not ready” pretty much tells me she doesn’t understand what it is.

Exactly! The only reason a person who has been properly catechized (if in the Latin rite) is not “ready” to receive Confirmation would be if she is no longer sure about being Catholic.

It’s not a sin to receive Communion if you delay Confirmation. It may be a sin to continue in a state of doubt about the teachings of the Church without trying to resolve them.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Hopefully your daughter will decide to be confirmed because it opens great graces to her. It is a gift, just as baptism and communion (and all other sacraments) are gifts. If she has questions, help her to find the answers, but also remind her that very few are truly free of questions about the faith even after confirmation.

 

[LPS]

Hi Dave - my son did the same thing; after all the confirmation classes were complete, he did not want to be confirmed.

Once he knew that my husband and I would respect his decision, he spent time studying on his own. I knew he had developed some friendships with non-Catholic Christian kids his age and I think he just needed to be certain in his own mind.

A year later he chose to be confirmed and it was very meaningful to all of us.

 

[FAB]

Catholic is obliged to receive this sacrament at the time the bishop designates.

QUOTE]

As set up by the Catholic Bishops, Confirmation is a personal choice, as are all sacraments for adults.

Up to the age of confirmation, usually 15, the parents have been charged with the religious formation of their child. At this age the child is being asked are you ready to make your personal commitment to your faith. Even though this has not always been the tradition of the faith, or in all places, it help a young adult to understand that the Catholic faith is just not a matter of traditon or that this sacrament is just something done at thsi age.
The young adult also needs to have a strong relationship and understanding of their relationship with Christ. They should also have an unnderstanding of the mysteries of the Church and to what they are recieving the sacrament for.
I would much rather a young adult not to recieve, and to wait, than to recieve without full understanding and of their own free will.

 

[1ke]

As set up by the Catholic Bishops, Confirmation is a personal choice, as are all sacraments for adults.

Can. 890 The faithful are **obliged **to receive this sacrament at the proper time. Parents and pastors of souls, especially pastors of parishes, are to take care that the faithful are properly instructed to receive the sacrament and come to it at the appropriate time.

Can. 891 The sacrament of confirmation is to be conferred on the faithful at about the age of discretion unless the conference of bishops has determined another age, or there is danger of death, or in the judgment of the minister a grave cause suggests otherwise.

 

[Corki]

At this age the child is being asked are you ready to make your personal commitment to your faith.

That’s the wrong question. The question being asked is whether the person is asking for the Sacrament freely and is properly disposed. Confirmation is received - it is not “making a personal committment.” The personal committment is to the Catechesis.

The young adult also needs to have a strong relationship and understanding of their relationship with Christ. They should also have an unnderstanding of the mysteries of the Church and to what they are recieving the sacrament for.
I would much rather a young adult not to recieve, and to wait, than to recieve without full understanding and of their own free will

It’s great if the person asking for the Sacrament already has a strong relationship with Christ but that’s not a requirement for the Sacrament. The grace of the Sacrament helps the person develop and solidify that relationship.

 

[FAB]

Can. 890 The faithful are **obliged **to receive this sacrament at the proper time. Parents and pastors of souls, especially pastors of parishes, are to take care that the faithful are properly instructed to receive the sacrament and come to it at the appropriate time.

Can. 891 The sacrament of confirmation is to be conferred on the faithful at about the age of discretion unless the conference of bishops has determined another age, or there is danger of death, or in the judgment of the minister a grave cause suggests otherwise.

The proper time is up to the formation of individual. There is a lot of discretion as to when that time occurs

 

[FAB]

That’s the wrong question. The question being asked is whether the person is asking for the Sacrament freely and is properly disposed. Confirmation is received - it is not “making a personal committment.” The personal committment is to the Catechesis.

It’s great if the person asking for the Sacrament already has a strong relationship with Christ but that’s not a requirement for the Sacrament. The grace of the Sacrament helps the person develop and solidify that relationship.

I have worked with confirmation for years. It is very much about the individual making a personal commitment. Yes they are recieving the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the grace of the sacrament, but as in marriage or Holy Orders, the indivdual is accepting for themselves, the gifts.
I very much disagree, at the age we are confirming that a strong relationtionship with the Lord is not important, as well as a complete as possible understanding of His Church. If not we are sacrmentalising individuals with no more understanding of thier faith than to how to brain surgery.

 

[Phemie]

I have worked with confirmation for years. It is very much about the individual making a personal commitment. Yes they are recieving the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the grace of the sacrament, but as in marriage or Holy Orders, the indivdual is accepting for themselves, the gifts.
I very much disagree, at the age we are confirming that a strong relationtionship with the Lord is not important, as well as a complete as possible understanding of His Church. If not we are sacrmentalising individuals with no more understanding of thier faith than to how to brain surgery.

Since confirmation is administered to infants, I don’t see why we should impose ‘as complete as possible understanding of the Church.’

 

[JimG]

I have often thought that there is something to be said for the Eastern practice of conferring Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist together at the same ceremony, even for infants.

 

[crystal_waters]

My daughter has made it known to me that she is not ready for confirmation. I respect that decision and am glad she has not made her decision based upon what her friends are doing.
Having said that she would like to know if she can still receive communion and if it would be a grave sin if she were not confirmed.
Thanks and God bless

maybe she finds the thought of the actual confirmation mass nerve wrecking and shes avoiding it because of that…some people get nervous if they have to be on display in public, and her confirmation is one time when she will be on display with the whole church watching

 

[Phemie]

I have often thought that there is something to be said for the Eastern practice of conferring Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist together at the same ceremony, even for infants.

I agree and since it’s all discipline anyway, I wish they’d change it – even if they retained Communion at the age of reason. They could make Baptism and Confirmation at birth the norm so that the link between the two isn’t lost as it always seems to be now.

It seems odd to me to do an anointing with Chrism at baptism that doesn’t quite do the trick, so to speak, so that it has to be repeated on a different part of the head by the bishop some years later. Yes, I’m well aware that they aren’t the same but when you’re baptizing an adult you don’t do both anointings, you just do the Confirmation.

There is no theological sense to the priest being is the minister of Confirmation for ill children and those who are baptized or come into full Communion after the age of reason but not being the minister of Communion for your average everyday baby.

 

[benedictgal]

Since confirmation is administered to infants, I don’t see why we should impose ‘as complete as possible understanding of the Church.’

That is true. Even as adults, I do not think that we will ever attain such an understanding of the Church, even as complete as possible. Sadly, Confirmation has turned into some sort of Rite of Passage.

 

[FAB]

Since confirmation is administered to infants, I don’t see why we should impose ‘as complete as possible understanding of the Church.’

The Norm by the USCCB is not to confirm infants at baptism, but to confirm at waht they have determined as an appropriate age, 15, as a result the formation and the expectations are of course different. Even with RCIA juvenilles we strive that they have a understanding that goes beyond just recieving the sacraments.

 

[Corki]

I have worked with confirmation for years. It is very much about the individual making a personal commitment. Yes they are recieving the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the grace of the sacrament, but as in marriage or Holy Orders, the indivdual is accepting for themselves, the gifts.
I very much disagree, at the age we are confirming that a strong relationtionship with the Lord is not important, as well as a complete as possible understanding of His Church. If not we are sacrmentalising individuals with no more understanding of thier faith than to how to brain surgery.

The Sacrament itself has nothing to do with making a personal committment. I have also worked with Confirmation for years. Many CCE programs have made the *preparation *for Confirmation into an exercise in personal committment. Most of the preparation material out there reflects that effort. Fortunately, as many diocese move Confirmation to a younger age and/or institute restored order, there is starting to be more theologically sound material available as well.

I didn’t say a strong relationship was not important. I said it was not necessary for the efficatious reception of the Sacrament.

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

I remember years ago my mother saying that I wasn’t ready for Confirmation and delayed it a year. It seem like an odd and arbitrary decision at the time and I didn’t understand the reasoning process.

 

[FAB]

The Sacrament itself has nothing to do with making a personal committment. I have also worked with Confirmation for years. Many CCE programs have made the *preparation *for Confirmation into an exercise in personal committment. Most of the preparation material out there reflects that effort. Fortunately, as many diocese move Confirmation to a younger age and/or institute restored order, there is starting to be more theologically sound material available as well.

I didn’t say a strong relationship was not important. I said it was not necessary for the efficatious reception of the Sacrament.

When we have a convert, we give formation so they will understand the their relationship with Christ and the Church they are joining. They dicsern and make a personal decision and commitment to the faith.
I have seen class after class of confirmed, but only see far fewer continue a full commitment to the Lord and the faith. After years of watching this and even see them leave the church when they reach their 20’s I have seen that more need to be done to install a love for Christ and a love for His Church and not just to give the sacrament because they have reached a proper age.
Yes there is effications reception of the sacrament, but if not fully understood and comprendended as well as being being entered into with one’s own free will, it becomes a gift that can not be fully used for their continuing faith life.