Daughter Living in an Unhealthy Household

[Glo]

My daughter has been renting a room while attending college and the owner just had his girlfriend move in. I’m concerned about my daughter living under those circumstances. I believe she knows it’s wrong but she also says that she doesn’t care because it’s their issue and she really likes his girlfriend. Is it wrong for her to be living there now? I did tell her that if it was me, I would look for another place. Any thoughts or suggestions?
Thank you.

 

[St_Francis]

Whose money pays the rent?

 

[acadiANNA]

Is the roommate paying a share of the rent?

 

[gardenswithkids]

Did you express concerns when your daughter originally rented a room from an unmarried man? I would have made a big fuss then. I’m not sure what I’d do at this point, but if I were helping pay for college make sure she had enough money to afford a different place.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I think it is really hard for college students to find affordable housing that they like. Yes it is a sin, however, she could live with a bunch of girls who all agree no overnight male guest (which I don’t she will find), yet they will eat her food, or leave messes all around

I had roommates that let their boyfriend’s sleep over and it did NOT change my convictions.

It is not ideal, but then again, most college students don’t live in ideal situations.

To be honest, when I saw the title of your post, I though you were going to write that there is abuse (ie the man is beating his girlfriend) or people are up all night doing drugs. Yes, it is a sin but… I have worked with homosexuals that would march in pride parades and I had to bite my tongue to keep my job. Very few situations are sin free

Angie

 

[Cojuanco]

I think it is really hard for college students to find affordable housing that they like. Yes it is a sin, however, she could live with a bunch of girls who all agree no overnight male guest (which I don’t she will find), yet they will eat her food, or leave messes all around

I had roommates that let their boyfriend’s sleep over and it did NOT change my convictions.

It is not ideal, but then again, most college students don’t live in ideal situations.

To be honest, when I saw the title of your post, I though you were going to write that there is abuse (ie the man is beating his girlfriend) or people are up all night doing drugs. Yes, it is a sin but… I have worked with homosexuals that would march in pride parades and I had to bite my tongue to keep my job. Very few situations are sin free

Angie

Finding housing for young people is hard. I was actually in the same situation in college (my roommates were Protestants of various sorts, and I know what they did in their rooms with their girlfriends was not simply studying together). I trust that you raised your daughter right that she would not be tempted to imitate her roomates/landlords!

Like you said, it would be nice if everyone were all good Catholics all the time, but in a fallen world, even we ourselves often slip! In this society, it’s going to be pretty hard to avoid living with or working with people that engage in all kinds of stuff without soliciting our cooperation - fornicating landlords, grocers who you know are giving to Planned Parenthood, cabbies who blaspheme, and so forth.

 

[gardenswithkids]

I think it is really hard for college students to find affordable housing that they like…

I hear you that it’s hard to find roommates that people get along with, but I don’t understand why so many are willing to settle for roommates of the opposite sex. That seems like one of the first things to consider when choosing a roommate.

There is a certain intimacy involved in living with other people. Why do people think that it’s okay to share that type of “roommate intimacy” with a member of the opposite sex? Occasion of sexual sin aside, it takes away from some of the intimacy of marriage. Ideally, marriage should be the first time a woman sets up her home with a man who is not a relative.

I get your point about how women sometimes have problems with female roommates who allow boyfriends to spend the night. Yet that situation seems vastly different from the one described in the original post where the young woman intentionally moved in with a man. But in either case, it’s time to look for another roommate. And if I was the mother, I’d either increase my financial assistance so my daughter could find something she liked with (a) decent female roommate(s)–or I’d cut off my financial assistance altogether if she chose to live with a man.

 

[Country_Gal]

I agree, I would have been concerned originally about her having a male roomie.

As to the question at hand, it depends on a lot of factors. If everyone is getting along, and there’s nothing outrageous going on, I agree with others, that it’s rare for a college student to find an ideal situation. She could move in with a group of totally religious girls and find them intolerable for other reasons.

 

[acadiANNA]

I misunderstood the living arrangements in that home. Couldn’t figure out who lives with who or who is paying rent. One apartment, two apartments?

 

[Allegra]

I’m also confused. It wasn’t a problem that the OP was living with an unmarried man, but now his girlfriend is there too and that is a problem? Is the man living there or not? If he isn’t living there himself, why is it unhealthy for his girl friend to live there? Is he spending the night there or something?

 

[Anglewannabe]

I hear you that it’s hard to find roommates that people get along with, but I don’t understand why so many are willing to settle for roommates of the opposite sex. That seems like one of the first things to consider when choosing a roommate.

.

I though the OP was concerned about the man letting his girlfriend move in, not so much about the fact her daughter is renting a room from a man.

I agree it would be better to have roommates of the same sex but… again, it is very hard to find good roommmates