Daughter questioning whether to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation

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I am unsure as to where to post this. Since it has to deal with her during preparing for Confirmation, I decided to post here. I am at a loss as to how to approach this situation. 🤷 My daughter, 13, just completed her first year of prep for Confirmation. She was very excited at first, but now has begun questioning whether or not she believes in the teachings of the Church, as well as Christianity. This year, in school, she began learning about other religions around the world. She now has an interest in Wicca and Judaism. She believes in God, so she realizes Wicca is not really something she believes in. She is struggling with the belief that Jesus is the Son of God. In her words, she believes He may have just been an extremist who believed Himself to be the Son of God and Savior. I am unsure as to how to approach this. Confirmation is her choice. We just moved and will soon be attending a new Church, so I don’t know a Priest to have her confide in. Would it be appropriate to have her speak with her Godparents, as well as a Rabbi? Thanks for any help and advice.
 
If that’s what she is saying, then she needs the religious ed desperately.
Has she been enrolled in religious ed all along, or is this a ā€œjust getting ready for Confirmationā€ thing?
Does she attend Mass regularly?
is she friendly with the priests at your parish?
Who is her spiritual mentor besides you?
What kind of Catholic reading material do you have for her?
 
Something I learned from the Jesuits over 60 years ago: When in doubt; Confess.
Surely there is a Catholic Priest in your area that relates to American teenagers.
You can find him by talking with one of your Parish Priests. I suggest that you have a talk with him and find a way for your daughter to meet with that priest.
You might have to exert a little parental authority on your daughter to do this, but fear not! Your daughter won’t kill you unless you allow it.
In fact, this whole situation calls for the use of parental authority by both parents.
Remember that American teenagers constantly push their parents to see how far and what they can get away with.
 
Confirmation is the Sacrament to thoroughly strengthen [con-firmare] our faith and our Baptism. It is done by the Holy Spirit. All that He asks of us is to be receptive and well-disposed.

It sounds like your daughter could definitely use the graces from this Sacrament! So yes, of course she should receive it. (Although of course it is her choice.)

I have to say that I’m not the best person to ask about the whole world religions thing. I was always reading mythology and world religion stuff when I was in fourth grade, and it never seriously threatened my faith. So I suspect it’s more pre-teenage questioning that she’s going through, rather than an actual intellectual crisis. But it’s also true that she may be getting fed a lot of anti-Christian propaganda by her school, her friends, or the books she reads. A lot of kids are very trusting of anything in print that is new and different, or anything that is said by a peer or teacher.

Catholic Answers has a lot of apologetics material that is very meaty about different religions, the historicity of Christ, etc.

I also suggest that you get her a copy of some early Christian literature that will appeal to her and teach her sound Catholic doctrine. Mike Aquilina’s book on the Fathers is short but very good; Jimmy Akin’s book is a little bigger. (DO NOT get anything by Bart Ehrman, as he’s anti-Christian and plays some very anti-scholarly rhetorical tricks.)

Get her to read St. Perpetua’s martyrdom diary, in particular. I don’t think there’s a Catholic girl on earth who would be proof against the courage of St. Perpetua and her other martyr friends, told in her own words.

St. Jerome’s letter praising his friend St. Fabiola, whom he didn’t take seriously enough until she made awesome things happen, is another good letter from the ancient world. St. Jerome’s whole circle of learned women friends, like St. Paula, St. Eustochium, et al, are all very interesting to girls. They also teach you what a huge difference Christ’s teachings made to the ancient world.

If she’s up for it, St. Augustine’s Confessions are also something that teenagers tend to enjoy. She might need an abridged version. It’s a portrait of a sinner, and it also shows a lot of why Christians couldn’t just go with the flow of the ancient world.

St. Joan of Arc is another good one. Obviously you have to watch out for material saying she was crazy, a witch, or other stupid stuff; but there’s a very good Joan of Arc website, and here’s another with lots of primary material. Mark Twain’s bio of Joan is also surprisingly good.

And ask for the intercession of saints like St. Perpetua and St. Felicity, St. Monica, and St. Fabiola, and all the saintly crew. They are good teachers, and they’ve been doing this for a long time! šŸ™‚

May St. Joseph, patron of fathers, help and guide you and your daughter!
 
I am unsure as to where to post this. Since it has to deal with her during preparing for Confirmation, I decided to post here. I am at a loss as to how to approach this situation. 🤷 My daughter, 13, just completed her first year of prep for Confirmation. She was very excited at first, but now has begun questioning whether or not she believes in the teachings of the Church, as well as Christianity. This year, in school, she began learning about other religions around the world. She now has an interest in Wicca and Judaism. She believes in God, so she realizes Wicca is not really something she believes in. She is struggling with the belief that Jesus is the Son of God. In her words, she believes He may have just been an extremist who believed Himself to be the Son of God and Savior. I am unsure as to how to approach this. Confirmation is her choice. We just moved and will soon be attending a new Church, so I don’t know a Priest to have her confide in. Would it be appropriate to have her speak with her Godparents, as well as a Rabbi? Thanks for any help and advice.
Learning about World Religions before having a sound formation regarding the Catholic Church will really mess someone up (World Religions class in college really screwed me up for a while).

I recommend you start with the following:
  1. new CD (or MP3) from Lighthouse Catholic Media called ā€œConfirmation: The Sacrament of Evangelization and Martyrdomā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/confirmation-the-sacrament-of-evangelization-and-martyrdom?promoCode=104130
  2. CD/MP3 called ā€œJesus Isā€¦ā€ by Father Michael Schmitz lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/jesus-is?promoCode=104130
  3. The booklet called ā€œCatholicism and Other Religionsā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/catholicism-and-other-religions-booklet?promoCode=104130
  4. The CD/MP3 called ā€œThe Making of a Jewish Nunā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/the-making-of-a-jewish-nun?promoCode=104130
  5. The CD/MP3 called ā€œJesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharistā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/jesus-and-the-jewish-roots-of-the-eucharist?promoCode=104130 and the book Jesus and the Jewish Root of the Eucharist lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/jesus-and-the-jewish-roots-of-the-eucharist-book?promoCode=104130
  6. The CD/MP3 called ā€œJesus the Bridegroom: The Greatest Love Story Ever Toldā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/jesus-the-bridegroom-the-greatest-love-story-ever-told?promoCode=104130
  7. The CD/MP3 called ā€œThe Resurrection of Jesus: Fact or Fiction?ā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/the-resurrection-of-jesus-fact-or-fiction?promoCode=104130
And finally, I recommend the following three CD/MP3s from Dr. Scott Hahn
  1. ā€œThe Fourth Cupā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/the-fourth-cup?promoCode=104130
  2. ā€œUnderstanding the Eucharistā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/understanding-the-eucharist?promoCode=104130
  3. ā€œGiven for you the Sacrifice of the Massā€ in MP3 only lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/given-for-you-the-sacrifice-of-the-mass?promoCode=104130
Additional recommendations are:
Anything from Scott Hahn lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/speakers?promoCode=104130&speaker=dr-scott-hahn

Anything from Lighthouse Catholic Youth lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/categories?promoCode=104130&category=youth

Anything from Lighthouse on Evangelization lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/categories?promoCode=104130&category=evangelization

Anything from Lighthouse on Apologetics lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/categories?promoCode=104130&category=apologetics

There are also the following from the store here at Catholic.com:

shop.catholic.com/books/family/student-survial-kit-2013-1.html

And from Amazon.com

Salvation Is from the Jews amazon.com/gp/product/089870975X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=089870975X&linkCode=as2&tag=catholicriten-20&linkId=BK7RRBAGSBI472CG

I pray that you will find some or all of these helpful.

May The Lord grant us wisdom & understanding in order to help lead our children to Christ & His Church. Amen.
 
If she has an interest in Judaism, maybe this can be approached from that angle. That Jesus is the Messiah, the Jews were waiting for, that God had promised to his chosen people. I am sure there are books to recommend, but I haven’t studied this much besides in passing. Maybe others can recommend some good books.

When I was a teen, (about that age maybe a bit older) the book that really helped me was Born Fundamentalist, Born again Catholic. But I wasn’t ever interested in other religions, I was just having general doubts, because the things that I had learned as a child, just weren’t making sense anymore. This book helped me relearn and categorize what I already knew, in a comparison to another religious tradition (in this case fundamentalist protestant).
 
I do not believe it would be appropriate for a rabbi to advise your confused Catholic daughter on matters of faith, since he does not share your faith.

If her Godparents are solid in their faith, then you could absolutely ask them to talk with her. Otherwise, find a priest who seems orthodox and ask her to meet with him. Even if she doesn’t know him well from the parish it still might be helpful for her discuss her concerns with someone trained in Catholic theology.

Ask her to read C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity, in which he discusses the argument that your daughetr is wrestling with. Lewis writes, ā€œA man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic–on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg–or he would be the devil of hell. You must take your choice. Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us.ā€ She may find Lewis’ reasoning convincing.

I do think there is a tendency in our culture to treat Confirmation as if it were a ceremony of a person’s choice to become Catholic, an affirmation of belief. This is not how Catholics view the sacrament of confirmation. Your daughter is *already *entirely Catholic and confirmation is the sacrament by which she will receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit and additional grace she needs to become a stronger and more perfect Christian. I think you have an obligation to see that she be confirmed. In other words, I would suggest that it not become her choice whether or not to get confirmed depending of whether she ends up choosing Catholicism, Wicca, or Judaism, but rather that you create the expectation that she will be confirmed once she is fully prepared to receive the sacrament. Your pastor may be helpful in determining when that is. Though of course I agree she ought to be in a state of grace and should work to first resolve her difficulty with the most fundamental aspect of Christianity - the divinity of Jesus!

Finally, I’d advise you to commit to praying for her daily, especially for the intention that she be confirmed and learn to realize Jesus’ divine love for her.

God bless you and your family.
 
Learning about World Religions before having a sound formation regarding the Catholic Church will really mess someone up (World Religions class in college really screwed me up for a while).

I recommend you start with the following:
  1. new CD (or MP3) from Lighthouse Catholic Media called ā€œConfirmation: The Sacrament of Evangelization and Martyrdomā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/confirmation-the-sacrament-of-evangelization-and-martyrdom?promoCode=104130
  2. CD/MP3 called ā€œJesus Isā€¦ā€ by Father Michael Schmitz lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/jesus-is?promoCode=104130
  3. The booklet called ā€œCatholicism and Other Religionsā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/catholicism-and-other-religions-booklet?promoCode=104130
  4. The CD/MP3 called ā€œThe Making of a Jewish Nunā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/the-making-of-a-jewish-nun?promoCode=104130
5) The CD/MP3 called ā€œJesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharistā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/jesus-and-the-jewish-roots-of-the-eucharist?promoCode=104130 and the book Jesus and the Jewish Root of the Eucharist lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/jesus-and-the-jewish-roots-of-the-eucharist-book?promoCode=104130

6) The CD/MP3 called ā€œJesus the Bridegroom: The Greatest Love Story Ever Toldā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/jesus-the-bridegroom-the-greatest-love-story-ever-told?promoCode=104130
  1. The CD/MP3 called ā€œThe Resurrection of Jesus: Fact or Fiction?ā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/the-resurrection-of-jesus-fact-or-fiction?promoCode=104130
And finally, I recommend the following three CD/MP3s from Dr. Scott Hahn

8) ā€œThe Fourth Cupā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/the-fourth-cup?promoCode=104130

9) ā€œUnderstanding the Eucharistā€ lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/understanding-the-eucharist?promoCode=104130

  1. ā€œGiven for you the Sacrifice of the Massā€ in MP3 only lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/given-for-you-the-sacrifice-of-the-mass?promoCode=104130
Additional recommendations are:
Anything from Scott Hahn lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/speakers?promoCode=104130&speaker=dr-scott-hahn

Anything from Lighthouse Catholic Youth lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/categories?promoCode=104130&category=youth

Anything from Lighthouse on Evangelization lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/categories?promoCode=104130&category=evangelization

Anything from Lighthouse on Apologetics lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/categories?promoCode=104130&category=apologetics

There are also the following from the store here at Catholic.com:

shop.catholic.com/books/family/student-survial-kit-2013-1.html

And from Amazon.com

Salvation Is from the Jews amazon.com/gp/product/089870975X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=089870975X&linkCode=as2&tag=catholicriten-20&linkId=BK7RRBAGSBI472CG

I pray that you will find some or all of these helpful.

May The Lord grant us wisdom & understanding in order to help lead our children to Christ & His Church. Amen.
These are great suggestions and we have read/listened to many of these as well. I’ve bolded the ones that I really thought stood out and below are a few other suggestions:

Anything from Steve Ray, especially his book, Crossing the Tiber, and his audios, ā€œAbraham: Revealing the Historical Roots of Our Faithā€ and ā€œFinding the Fullness of the Faith.ā€

As mentioned, anything from Scott Hahn, but especially ā€œSigns of Life: Catholic Customs and Their Biblical Rootsā€ and ā€œThe Fourth Cup.ā€

Jennifer Fulwiler’s, ā€œFrom Atheism to Catholicismā€

And lastly, Fr. Robert Barron’s video series ā€œCatholicismā€ is very good and rich in history.
 
As she is considering Judaism I would begin by showing her all the prophecies fulfilled by Christ showing that he is the messiah. A good place to start is here: christianity.about.com/od/biblefactsandlists/a/Prophecies-Jesus.htm

You can show her the many miracles attributed to Him in the bible along with the fact that St. Luke begins his gospel account saying that he is writing it to tell the truth as it happened and not as a symbolic work. Along with the fact that many who knew Christ were willing to die for the belief that he was the Son of God.

As to finding a priest I would recommend finding a religious order dedicated to education as any religious priest will be able to offer more help than I can, and in many cases have the best educations of any clergy. I would especially recommend St. Michael’s abbey if you are in southern California otherwise I would recommend the fathers of mercy (who may be preaching a mission near you: fathersofmercy.com/upcoming-missions-retreats/ ) or the Dominicans ( especially those of dhs priory)
 
Since she is only 13, she has plenty of time to get confirmed. Sometimes youth go through periods of questioning what they really believe, and what religion and God means to them. I know I did! (Especially at ages 13-15)

I recommend prayer and attending mass. Tell her it’s part of her family tradition and it means a lot to your family when she attends with you!

Also, someone recommended confession…perhaps she could chat with a priest or a nun that she trusts?

I’ll definitely pray for you guys!
 
This is a tough one. We did not make our children get confirmed and they chose not to. I wish we had encouraged them more. There is nothing wrong with learning about other faiths but one needs a strong basis in our faith to see the differences. She still needs that from you.

Wicca would be a big no for me but I am mindful that we cannot control everything our children do. You might want to know where that option came from. Her age group is notorious for exploring the darker side of just about everything because they finally realize that we cannot control them.

Would you be open to traveling this journey with her? She needs a gentle nudge to stay grounded and you can subtly do that as you both learn.

Stay prayerful and ask God to protect her from evil through this!
 
I would recommend you remind your daughter we were created by God to have body, mind, and spirit and we can use all 3 gifts to discern the truth. Though she may be interested in Wicca (aka witchcraft), ask her what’s the basis of their belief? Do they have history corroborated by those outside the belief? It’s been my experience, wiccans tend to make up their own belief system by scavenging pagan religious practices so they can invent their own belief system. If you think Christians have a problem deciding on a common set of core beliefs, you should question a wiccan and see what THEY come up with! Do they have a doctrine or does everyone just make up their own as they go along? More than likely, there’s a head ā€œwitchā€ or ā€œwarlockā€ who will claim to have ā€œdivineā€ knowledge imparted to her/him. Where does that ā€œknowledgeā€ come from and how did she/he get it?

Judaism is not so very far from Christianity theologically speaking. It’s the basis from where we came from though not the fullness of understanding we have today. If your daughter balks at this concept, ask her why she believes Judaism is more ā€œcorrectā€ than Christianity. Is it that it’s an older religious practice? Many older ways of thinking have been believed and have been dropped in the past. Not because the ā€œoldā€ belief was wrong but more likely because the ā€œnewā€ belief was more ā€œrightā€. Christians are very closely related in faith to our Jewish brothers and sisters.

Finally, the concept that Jesus was just a deluded man is just not an intellectually honest point of view. How could people follow Him and come to believe in His Divinity so much that they would die for Him? I’m sure ancient Jerusalem had seen their share of prophets, soothsayers, miracle workers, rabbis, and holy men that they would know a crazy person from One Who is truly the Son of God. If Jesus was just another whack job, His story would have been debunked from the very beginning and we wouldn’t know about Him today. No amount of ā€œsales or marketingā€ can change a crazy person into God Incarnate. If that were true, the false prophets and christ figures we’ve seen in the last 200 years would have established their own religions; instead, in time, there were revealed by their own hand, to be cults and people walked away. Jesus has a real history and we can cross reference His existence with sources outside the christian church. The early church fathers, those who knew about Jesus, either first hand or second hand via close association, testify to His Life, Death, and Resurrection. This is much more than can be said of almost all the figures in the worlds great religions. I suggest you ask your daughter to learn more of the historical Jesus (with your guidance) so that she can believe, first, that He was a real Man, secondly, there is archaeological proof of the Bible and it’s veracity, and finally, that Jesus is God Incarnate.

God Bless you and guide you and your daughter on this journey.
 
Addition:

While today in many Diocese, Confirmation has been presented as a form of adult commitment" to the faith, we also should remember that a large portion of Catholics now, and also through history get Confirmed as a matter of course when either and infant or together with First Communion as part of the Sacraments of Initiation.
I’m an educator, so I like the waiting to talk to teens part of it. But I also am well versed in the way the early church did it. ( Or even until recently, actually).
13 is NOT knowledgeable enough to make a decision like this on her own. Since the internet option of just ā€œlooking stuff onlineā€ everyone thinks they know everything about everything.
I will re-state that she needs a great catechist. She really doesn’t seem to have enough info about her own faith to go exploring others. She was Baptized a Child of God.
She needs to follow through and her parents need to ensure that she gets this instruction. It’s what they promised at her Baptism. šŸ‘
 
I am unsure as to where to post this. Since it has to deal with her during preparing for Confirmation, I decided to post here. I am at a loss as to how to approach this situation. 🤷 My daughter, 13, just completed her first year of prep for Confirmation. She was very excited at first, but now has begun questioning whether or not she believes in the teachings of the Church, as well as Christianity. This year, in school, she began learning about other religions around the world. She now has an interest in Wicca and Judaism. She believes in God, so she realizes Wicca is not really something she believes in. She is struggling with the belief that Jesus is the Son of God. In her words, she believes He may have just been an extremist who believed Himself to be the Son of God and Savior. I am unsure as to how to approach this. Confirmation is her choice. We just moved and will soon be attending a new Church, so I don’t know a Priest to have her confide in. Would it be appropriate to have her speak with her Godparents, as well as a Rabbi? Thanks for any help and advice.
Does she realize that she is beginning to believe that Jesus of Nazareth was a lunatic?

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis points this out: that is, that Jesus is either what he says he was–and at least your daughter can see that he did, indeed, know himself to be the Son of God, and not some nonsense that he was only a ā€œgreat teacherā€ā€“or else he was a lunatic on the level of someone who believed he was an egg. For a Jew to believe that he was God–well, anyone can see how others reacted. They said he was possessed, they said he was a lunatic. Well, he didn’t act much like a lunatic. That is the choice, though. Believe that he was what he said he was, or believe that he was a lunatic with some sort of very contagious lunacy. If the Apostles were not also lunatics, after all, it must be believed that all the things about seeing him risen from the dead were lies for which the Apostles were all willing to die.

You can go to St. Paul–he says very bluntly that if Christ didn’t rise from the dead, then the whole religion is nonsense.

I would, however, impress the doctrine of invincible ignorance upon her. She may not disbelieve that Jesus is God so much as she cannot believe that so many other people on the planet are wrong. I say this because she seems to have chosen religions which don’t make orthodoxy the main issue, but right relationships and reverence. Jews don’t believe you have to be Jews to be righteous and Wiccans don’t believe you have to be Wiccan to be righteous, and that may be her actual sticking point. She needs to know that God will be just about how we made our choices to believe or not believe. Those of us who have been given the grace that we* can *believe, though, are bound to do it.
 
Just because the girl is questioning if he’s the son of god, doesn’t mean she thinks Jesus a *lunatic. *
C.S. Lewis may have written his idea of the three options available, but that doesn’t mean he’s right about that.
There exists many other thoughts, ideas, and possibilities on this question.

.
These people are Catholic. When they stood at her Baptism they, along with her Godparents made promised that they would instruct her in the church.
She can have all the questions she can muster, and she should. But she should also receive Catholic answers and instruction from Catholic parents, Godparents, and catechists.
That’s the issue. Either one is raising their children in the faith, or kids can do whatever they please. Sounds to me like her parents desire Catholicism for their offspring.

Peace.
 
First, Wicca, like Buddhism is a practice NOT a religion.

In Wicca, there is only one principle – ā€œAn you harm none, do what you will.ā€ That’s it – harm none. This is not an easy thing to accomplish. Some groups also teach that whatever you do will be returned to you threefold.

That said – she still should be Confirmed.
 
She is struggling with the belief that Jesus is the Son of God. In her words, she believes He may have just been an extremist who believed Himself to be the Son of God and Savior. I am unsure as to how to approach this. Confirmation is her choice. We just moved and will soon be attending a new Church, so I don’t know a Priest to have her confide in. Would it be appropriate to have her speak with her Godparents, as well as a Rabbi? Thanks for any help and advice.
Okay, first of all it’s great that’s she’s questioning - if anything this should be encouraged but, rather than just ā€œtellingā€ her (or getting someone else to do it, help her to find the answers for herself. IMHO the best place to start is the scriptures themselves (I’ve heard good things about the author šŸ˜› ), something like the Catholic Youth Bible should be good along with a copy of YouCat (there’s even a YouCat Confirmation Book too :D).

Point her in the direction of the annunciation in Luke’s gospel, the baptism of Jesus in Mark’s and the transfiguration in Matthew, Mark and Luke. All three of these events show the intimate connection between the Father and the Son. For added benefit there’s always the words of the centurion at the crucifixion (#obvious) and the prologue to John’s gospel as well as the conversion of St Paul in Acts. It’s also worth noting the references to Jesus as the Messiah (a very Jewish notion) and as ā€œLordā€ (that is, God).

There’s an enormous depth in the scriptures that she should be encouraged to unlock with a little help and guidance. From memory, the Catholic Youth Bible and YouCat also provide references to other scriptures which she should be encouraged to look at (particularly the OT ones). Finally, in fairness to her, you could also perhaps point out the the Church struggled with this very issue (Jesus as the son of God) for the better part of it’s first 500 years so she’s definitely not alone
 
Great tips every one.

May I suggest, A lot of Prayer Eucharistic prayer & study for you so that you may be prepared 1Peter 3:15 and LOTS & Lots of listening. Let her know that you are open to hear all she has to share and that you will continue to support her and help her sort through it all.

For your daughter. A retreat or a visit to the Shrine near by or even a national park for reflection, and prayer.

Time in front of the Eucharist as you both go through this time.
 
Great tips every one.

May I suggest, A lot of Prayer Eucharistic prayer & study for you so that you may be prepared 1Peter 3:15 and LOTS & Lots of listening. Let her know that you are open to hear all she has to share and that you will continue to support her and help her sort through it all.

For your daughter. A retreat or a visit to the Shrine near by or even a national park for reflection, and prayer.

Time in front of the Eucharist as you both go through this time.
Retreat…a great idea! That is one thing that we as Catholics need to work on.
 
Expecting a 13 yr old to read those books and listen to a bunch of CDs is unrealistic, IMO.

Can you ask her if she’s praying? Does she have, does she want, a relationship with Jesus Christ?

Confirmation is completion/ strengthening of her baptismal grace. Does she wish she had never been baptized? Does she not believe there is grace involved? That God wants to be close to her and give her grace?
 
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