D
dashso40
Guest
Natalee Holloway went away on a trip, she was 18, she never came back…I think 18 is too young to go away…unless of course she lives on her own, than you can’t tell her what to do…Just my opinion…
- Status
P
Philip76
Guest
Some of Europe? Most of the world, I’d argue.
N
neal590
Guest
Dating couples don’t need to be going off on such adventures, acting like married couples. It is not healthy, the practice of fornication, will cause all sorts of errors in feelings and thoughts. Do we love each other, or is it the sexuality that is fun. Binding relationships together through practicing fornication can leave life long troubles.
I used to tell young people I trust you completely, and you can say that to your daughter, it is your human nature that I don’t trust. It is the nature in you that can cause troubles.
In Genesis when God created by the word, he did not create anything evil. In our pre-original sin we had an understanding of our true nakedness. Our bodies were not sinful, because we were created by God, but after the sin of mankind we have to cloth ourselves of course and treat each other with respect.
So our sexuality from God, in the marriage is a gift, it is not something that was suppose to be used as a contact sport. In the marriage we create through the act of sex, where God created through the word in Genesis.
I used to tell young people I trust you completely, and you can say that to your daughter, it is your human nature that I don’t trust. It is the nature in you that can cause troubles.
In Genesis when God created by the word, he did not create anything evil. In our pre-original sin we had an understanding of our true nakedness. Our bodies were not sinful, because we were created by God, but after the sin of mankind we have to cloth ourselves of course and treat each other with respect.
So our sexuality from God, in the marriage is a gift, it is not something that was suppose to be used as a contact sport. In the marriage we create through the act of sex, where God created through the word in Genesis.
T
Tosk
Guest
So what is the difference in everyone’s opinion between going away alone to a European city and moving to another town alone and going to same university as your BF/GF or even just moving out of your parent’s house? Me and my wife lived alone in a town 6 hours away from our parents and just had separate living arrangements while we dated. We were not chaperoned when we went on dates or visited each other so the decision to remain chaste was all on us. She really doesn’t have to go away to another country to have sex. If she wanted to have sex it is as simple as renting a hotel room or going over to her boyfriend’s house. 
A
aicirt
Guest
The sleeping thing is second to my other concerns about this trip. I wish the OP would answer my questions so I could formulate how I’d feel if this were my daughter.So what is the difference in everyone’s opinion between going away alone to a European city and moving to another town alone and going to same university as your BF/GF or even just moving out of your parent’s house? Me and my wife lived alone in a town 6 hours away from our parents and just had separate living arrangements while we dated. We were not chaperoned when we went on dates or visited each other so the decision to remain chaste was all on us. She really doesn’t have to go away to another country to have sex. If she wanted to have sex it is as simple as renting a hotel room or going over to her boyfriend’s house.
Yes, if you are going to have sex, you don’t have to go to Europe. And she’s 18 free to make her own decisions…unfortunately.
Would I pay? Depends on the goal of the trip. Education, work, visiting family? No goals? Don’t think I’d be chipping in.
Chaperone? I definitely would be going at some point especially if it is more than a month.
J
jenlovesyu
Guest
I am only 19 and I don’t think even I would want to go on a trip for a few months with a guy I hadn’t been dating for too long. I mean, unless there were other trusted people there, it would just be uncomfortable. Maybe I would go for a couple weeks but 3-6 months is kinda pushing it.
The possible chances of sinning are there, but that probably wouldn’t be my biggest concern. Not that I am saying that your daughter’s bf is up to no good. You just never know what might happen. I guess you gotta ask yourself, is it worth the risk?
The possible chances of sinning are there, but that probably wouldn’t be my biggest concern. Not that I am saying that your daughter’s bf is up to no good. You just never know what might happen. I guess you gotta ask yourself, is it worth the risk?
D
dashso40
Guest
Well put…Is it really worth the risk?..
F
forever_always
Guest
I thought this as well…
To the OP, I would base it off of how well you know the boyfriend. I know my parents wouldn’t be pleased if I went to Europe with someone I had jsut started dating… do you trust him?
H
holy_moly
Guest
Seems to me that the trip is a longer commitment than the relationship, especially for an 18 yr old. Is she asking your permission or for advice? I’d say not a sin per se, though sure is inviting the near occasion…
C
celticsfan1983
Guest
Wow, you might want to work on getting rid of stereotypes. Every individual is unique, and not everyone is going to conform to your crazy ideas on what all kids are like.
Others have made a great point. If this girl was going to have sex, they’d find a way to do it. I say trust her: this could be a great growing opportunity for her spiritually.
T
Tinkerbell
Guest
Fact: 18 year olds do stupid things
Fact: 18 year olds are horny
Fact: Away from home/parents (read: accountability) several (all?) safe-guards to be smart and chaste will be gone
Fact: Your daughter will be experiencing situations, people and places that she never experienced before in her life
Fact: Your daughter will be more time away (from you) with her BF than the time she has actually knowns him
I have to agree with this. I went on a vacation with BF when I was 21 with no intentions of anything happening either. Things did not go as planned…baby born 9 months later.
I would say absolutely no. True it can happen here but why make it so easy.
Fact: 18 year olds are horny
Fact: Away from home/parents (read: accountability) several (all?) safe-guards to be smart and chaste will be gone
Fact: Your daughter will be experiencing situations, people and places that she never experienced before in her life
Fact: Your daughter will be more time away (from you) with her BF than the time she has actually knowns him
I have to agree with this. I went on a vacation with BF when I was 21 with no intentions of anything happening either. Things did not go as planned…baby born 9 months later.
I would say absolutely no. True it can happen here but why make it so easy.
C
celticsfan1983
Guest
Sorry things didn’t go the way you planned. Hopefully God has continued to bless you.
That said, I find it amazing that you’ve had so much time to get to know every single 18-year-old in this country. Nice to see that you can make a blanket statement about an age group without any real evidence.
Could it happen? Yes. Will it happen? Depends on the individual. Everyone is different, and to make assumptions about what will happen is so wrong-headed.
If someone was truly committed to staying chaste, as it sounds like the OP’s daughter is committed to doing, why should we not trust this person, instead of getting paniced based on assumptions that might or might not happen.
Show the girl some trust.
S
Sabda
Guest
I have to second this post. We just took a weekend trip to a neighboring state and had our car stolen while we where there. Definitely not a pleasant experience.
The only way I would agree to this is if she was going with a group of people whom I could trust. My mom went over to Europe as a single lady and had a blast but she went with a fairly large group of friends from church.
S
Sabda
Guest
I don’t think it’s so much a lack of trust but a lack of wisdom on the girl’s (op’s dd) part. I also have to question the wisdom of this decision. But we don’t know all the details, like how long she has known this young man. How many are going and the purpose of this trip. But the fact that she has only dated this man for 4 months and intends to be gone for possible 6 months, 2 months longer than they have been dating. Sends up some warning signals.
T
Tinkerbell
Guest
Yes, God has blessed me and very I’m thankfull for everything he has done for me. I know that not everyone is the same but that is a accident waiting to happen. I remember telling my parents nothing would happen too. In fact I was insulted they would even suggest something would. Why would a mother give her approval and put her daughter in that position of great temptation. Believe me she is doing her a favor if she says no. The daughter will survive if she does not go. I speak from experience and have seen many other families experience the same thing. Your profile says you are just 25. When you get to be 50 or have your own teenage children you will understand too. Sorry
B
Bluegoat
Guest
I just don’t get the people that are worried about them having sex. She is 18 - is she to stay in her parents house until she is safely married? Should the parents stop her from moving away for school or a job so she won’t have a near occasion for sin?
Now, I would worry about what her plan is if things don’t work out with the male friend. It would not be great to be stuck away from home alone in those circumstances.
Now, I would worry about what her plan is if things don’t work out with the male friend. It would not be great to be stuck away from home alone in those circumstances.
R
ryecroft
Guest
I’ve got to agree with the last poster - the young woman - not girl - is legal - she’s 18 and unless her mom is financing this, it really is no longer her place to say “no I won’t allow you to go” - (not that I’m accusing her of doing this - but after reading some of the posts on here with some of the assumptions being made, I would understand now why she might feel afraid not to try stopping her). It sounds to me like if the young lady has enough money, it’s not her mother’s choice, it’s her choice - just like it is her choice if she wanted to rent a motel room one night or get in the back of the car with her boy friend. Her mother is welcome to give her advice - even warn her, but I get the feeling if the mother takes the stand some of you seem to think she should - even though her daughter - a young woman - is now a legal adult who could fight and die for country - if she took that stand, her daughter might decide she ought to rebel because her mother doesn’t seem to trust the decisions she’s making. I’ve got to agree with the previous poster, what do some of you want the mother to do - try to keep her at home within her sight until the day she marries if she ever does? The occaision of sin is always NEAR - and it will be prevelent regardless of the continent she’s on.
S
Sabda
Guest
For my part it has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with wisdom. You seriously see no problem with a young lady traveling to Europe for 6 months with someone she has, possibly, only known for 4 months?
The op has never said who is financing this trip. At 18 I have serious doubts that the young lady is going to be financing it all on her own. Is it possible that she could be financing this trip all on her own, yes, likely no. If the parents are financing any part of this trip than they have a say in the matter. If the young lady is relying on the young man, who for all we know she has only known for 4 months, to help her finance this trip than I would have to say that shows even less wisdom.
We really should wait for more information from the op.
R
ryecroft
Guest
I know that I’ve done a trip in a foreign country for a number of months - some on my own and some with a male companion who was not relation. And yes, I was that age - for some of the time, I was actually a little younger. I learned to be much more self reliant and to deal with those kinds of problems. One thing I would reccomend which might make her mother feel a little more at ease after hearing so many horror stories (and yes, unfortunately some were true-just they don’t happen as often as some seem to believe- but if it’s your daughter then that may be just one time too often) - but I seriously reccomend her taking a few courses in self defense - because there are pick pockets all around the world. I would also go over with her some situations - for instance her pass port gets stolen - what would she do. Perhaps because I didn’t grow up in the U.S. all my life I was more prepared for these things-for instance what to do when my laptop was stolen by having the car I was using be drilled in the side door by the key hole. How would she deal. Her knowing the answers to what to do if almost all her money is stolen is a very good idea. I will agree that since this guy hasn’t been known for that long that she needs to prepare herself for if he takes off. Let her know your worries - let her learn how to defend herself if someone grabs her backpack/purse. If she’s prepared for the worst you can imagine, then you’ll both feel better - even if she does think that you’re maybe going a bit over board. And by the way, I had my virginity up until I was 23.
I honestly believe that like myself, if she is rooted in what she believes that this could very easily be a trip where she finds what she really feels drawn to do - for me it was interpreting. You know your daughter - you know what your worries are, but if they are fears that could easily happen in the states (pick pocketing, being stranded, etc)- then prepare her! Again, put your worst ideas of bad situations she could get into in the EU - and ask her how she’d handle it - help her have a plan - that’s preparing your daughter - not sheltering her from the world (literally)
God Bless
I honestly believe that like myself, if she is rooted in what she believes that this could very easily be a trip where she finds what she really feels drawn to do - for me it was interpreting. You know your daughter - you know what your worries are, but if they are fears that could easily happen in the states (pick pocketing, being stranded, etc)- then prepare her! Again, put your worst ideas of bad situations she could get into in the EU - and ask her how she’d handle it - help her have a plan - that’s preparing your daughter - not sheltering her from the world (literally)
God Bless
R
ryecroft
Guest
So who is financing this trip - both of you or your daughter or the daughter and boyfriend?
- Status