Daughter walked in on us

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I can somewhat relate…I remember my dd when she was around 8 yrs old, saying that she ‘heard’ us one night (this was a while ago) and she said…'mommy sounded like she was having a heart attack or something daddy, what happened to mommy last night?"😊 :rotfl:

I honestly don’t remember what we told her, relating to what she heard…but…it’s never been brought up again, and I think truly that she has forgotten about it.:o Must have been convincing, although we felt badly not being able to tell her the full truth, as of course it’s not for her to know, and not age appropriate even.

I think you have nothing to worry about tryingmyhardest, but I can see why you would be worried. What you and your wife were doing is a beautiful thing, and what married couples do. If it ever comes up when she is older, if her memory is very good it might–then, that would be a teachable moment…

Just make sure the door is locked next time.😃

God bless!!
 
Well, I remember everything from when I was four years old, but then again, I have a pretty good memory.

I hope she doesn’t try to put medicine on someone else based on what she thinks she saw. :rotfl:

Thank goodness my parents never did anything or if they did I never saw or heard anything, hahaha. …And my room was fairly nearby. :extrahappy:

Yeah, but anyway I guess its nothing to be ashamed of. Just hope she forgets or something. I mean children that age don’t know what sex is…unless they watch a lot of bad TV.
 
That is why God made bedroom door locks.

We also have a house rule. You knock on a closed door before you go in. Everyone in the house is entitled to privacy, so, knocking is important.
 
**So, since my only child is only 2, I haven’t been down this road yet… is it the general consensus that we should lie to her IF she were to ever see or hear what we do? I understand that things need to be age appropriate, but wouldn’t it be more a case of telling a child that mommy and daddy were doing something special that married people do rather than lying outright?

As for the people who say that even if the child remembers that if they are curious they will ask later…I’m not so sure about that one. I remember hearing my parents (we shared a wall) but I don’t think I ever asked because at that point I knew what it meant (I don’t remember what age) and I was embarrassed and grossed out.

I would like to raise our daughter with a healthy view of sex and how beautiful a gift it is in a marriage. Not sure how to do that though:shrug:**
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**So, since my only child is only 2, I haven’t been down this road yet… is it the general consensus that we should lie to her IF she were to ever see or hear what we do? I understand that things need to be age appropriate, but wouldn’t it be more a case of telling a child that mommy and daddy were doing something special that married people do rather than lying outright?

Hi Malia, I don’t think you should lie either. I think the child should be taken out of the room nonchalantly, if they ask right then and there, give a one sentence answer like what you said. I read somewhere that small children obviously don’t understand sex, but the sounds and movements can be seen as agression. So I think it’s important to tell them that Mommy and Daddy are ok.**

As for the people who say that even if the child remembers that if they are curious they will ask later…I’m not so sure about that one. I remember hearing my parents (we shared a wall) but I don’t think I ever asked because at that point I knew what it meant (I don’t remember what age) and I was embarrassed and grossed out.

Please, I was about 14 once when I heard them:blush: 😊 😊

I would like to raise our daughter with a healthy view of sex and how beautiful a gift it is in a marriage. Not sure how to do that though:shrug:

Not sure either, right now I’m getting lots of simple questions about the baby. Like how does the baby eat. How do we get a belly-button? I try to answer truthfully, but at their level.

/B]
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You shouldn’t be too embarrassed because the “one flesh union” is a good and beautiful thing. John Paul II believes so, and that’s enough for me. 🙂 Your daughter won’t be scarred… just make sure you explain to her the beauty of the “one flesh union” once the time arrives. God bless!
 
Tryingmyhardest said:
What do you suggest we say? Since it seems like she has forgotten, I am hesitant to bring it up again. She seemed to think it was funny, but she was acting very nervous when she asked me why we were doing that.

I don’t want her to dwell on it, or even think about it anymore at all. I hope she just forgets it.
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Phew! I’m glad you didn’t take that advice! I think you’re exactly right – making it a big deal when it obviously is not currently a big deal to her could be the one surefire way of making it stick in her memory and/or giving her weird feelings about it. She is only 4, and will only keep so many memories from this age. If this isn’t turned into an “event,” and it doesn’t happen again, I’d say the odds are good she’ll forget all about it. 👍
 
well…yeah, if i were in your position, i would never bring it up!
if i were your daughter - i would prob remember but i would never bring it up. because i think kids kinda get a feeling that its unusual, strange and (possibly ‘wrong’ behaviour [even though its normal for a couple]because the moment felt so awkward and obviously, they as children would never see a couple express their love in such an intimate way) so they would prob get a little awkward with the situation. I mean i still find it impossible to talk to my mother about sex and boys (yet im 18…lolz) etc without feeling awkward (i guess that stems down to the fact - i never got a talk, i learnt stuff off my friends, RE teacher and the net at only age 13-14)
 
Tryingmyhardest;4265024 It didn’t even occur to us that she would get up said:
It seems like you are experiencing the first child “learning curve”.
It happens to every parent with their oldest child, their latest change in normal behavior will always catch you by surprise. Once we got to remembering to lock the door, then we had to realize that they still could hear us through our paper thin walls. One time we opened the door to find three kids listening at the door!

I don’t want my children to be brought up with unnecessary shame, so I teach the children that we respect one another’s privacy by knocking at a closed door, and actually closing the door when in the restroom for my own kid’s privacy. You are not hiding because your body is shameful, we just learn about the need to respect one another’s modesty or privacy. This is a greater challenge than I realized as our household has grown.

The mistake I feel most guilty about is flipping through tv channels after 7 pm in front of the children ( They don’t need to see steamy or racy commercials!), or clicking on an unfamiliar website ( with surprise pop-ups) while they are in the room. Seeing sex decontextualized is more traumatic to their innocence than seeing parents acting peculiar.

Children look to you for cues about what to worry about, if you worry, they will worry.
Parenting is a tough job, and we need all the heavenly graces we can get!🙂

Peace be with you
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This happens to nearly everyone who has kids. Our daughter walked in on us. It was horrifying. She was in middle school!:eek:
We all just pretended it didn’t happen, but it sure put a damper on our love life for weeks to come. (Okay, maybe days…)
Kids are more resilient than you think.
 
Our old cat used to snooze on our bed. Once, our 5 year old walked in on us. Her comment? ‘Mummy! Daddy! Stop bouncing the cat!’
 
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