Daughter won't baptize baby

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alleykat71172

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My self proclaimed atheist daughter has an infant she continually refuses to baptize. I’m out of ideas on convincing her. She lives with us so there’s no reason my husband and I couldn’t take him to church with us and be responsible for his religious education but I digress.

The baby has to have a small surgical procedure, even so there’s always a chance things could go wrong. I know it’s generally not allowed to baptize the baby yourself unless they are on grave danger but what about this case? He will have to be put under and anything could happen. I’ve tried pleading and reasoning but of course she knows better than anyone. I’m at a loss as to what to do.
 
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alleykat71172 said:
My self proclaimed atheist daughter has an infant she continually refuses to baptize. I’m out of ideas on convincing her.
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You aren’t going to convince your atheist daughter to baptize her child.
alleykat71172 said:
She lives with us so there’s no reason my husband and I couldn’t take him to church with us and be responsible for his religious education but I digress.
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No reason… Except that she obviously is not on board with that and doesn’t want her child raised Christian. It’s not a digression, it’s completely relevant to the situation. This is a lifetime commitment to the faith and she will likely not live with you forever. She could at any time move out or tell you “no” to a religious upbringing for her child.
alleykat71172 said:
I know it’s generally not allowed to baptize the baby yourself unless they are on grave danger but what about this case?
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You are trying to stretch the Church’s teaching regarding danger of death to “something could happen”. Not the same thing.

You need to talk to your pastor about this for his counsel in the matter. You need to find a way to be OK with your grandchild being unbaptized for the foreseeable future. Trust God.
alleykat71172 said:
I’ve tried pleading and reasoning but of course she knows better than anyone. I’m at a loss as to what to do.
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Drop it. She is an adult and has to make her own decisions regarding her children.

When the child is older, you can share your faith and if the child asks to be baptized, you can go from there.
 
I would encourage you to learn how to respect your daughter’s beliefs, just as I am sure you expect her to respect yours. The baby is her child. It is not up to you. If she is athiest, it is unlikely she is going to concede to having the baby baptized. She doesn’t beleive in it.

Pray for your daughter, pray for your grandchild, and above all else, set a positive example for her. Do not keep badgering her to baptize your grandchild. Grandparents have been allienated from their grandchildren for doing just this. You sound like a grandparent who loves his/her grandchild, and that is a good thing. Don’t mess it up.
 
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Your relationship with your daughter is problematic at best.

You need to work on your relationship with her before you demand things of her child.

You now know the child’s father. What have you done to welcome him into your lives? He should be over very frequently to care for his son, unless he is choosing to stay away. By giving him love and showing him what Catholicism is all about you may attract him to the faith whilst your daughter has fallen away.
 
I agree with everyone else. You may not like her choice but she can raise her child as she sees fit. Good for her for not having her son bapitised into a religion she doesn’t believe in. She’s showing respect for your faith. You are not showing any respect for her as a mother.
 
If you baptize this child, you are committing this child to all of Catholic law and practice. Once he reaches age of reason. You are even determining how he will marry.
 
I know a girl who was baptized by her grandma as a baby, against her mother’s wishes. Although she (my acquaintance) has hardly become a devout Catholic, she nevertheless seems happy about her baptism to this day, as if knowing that she’s joined with the Church gives her some peace of mind. Interestingly she only knows about her baptism because her mother (the one who didn’t want to have her baptized) told her about it. Apparently even the mother feels that baptism is of such significance that she could not hide it from her daughter. Which makes you wonder why the mother objected to it in the first place.

I don’t know how it affected the relationship between her mom and her grandma though.
 
The priest won’t baptize the baby unless there is a reasonable chance he will be raised in the faith. If the priest wouldn’t do it, I don’t think you should presume to do it either. It sounds like you still believe your daughter is atheist out of spite toward you, rather than sincere doubt. It’s highly unlikely that’s the case. If you want a chance at your grandchild being raised Catholic or Baptized, you need to be a good Christian witness yourself and really work on understanding and loving your daughter. She’s not going to learn to believe because you nagged her enough.
 
Baby not being baptized is grave danger. Baptize away.
My grand baby wasn’t getting baptized b-c laziness. Parents not active in church. I went to ask us having Baby baptized. Nix! NO!!! It has to be parents. My outcome ended OK. They went for the Baptismal class and we had a Baptism!
That’s all though…Oh well.
 
It seems that all you do about your daughter and grandchild is complain. About his conception, his name…would you even baptize him as ‘Judas Messiah’? I’d work on yourself, first.
To clarify for people who have not been following the OP’s other threads…‘Judas Messiah’ is the child’s name, to which the OP has strongly objected.
 
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Legend said:
It seems that all you do about your daughter and grandchild is complain. About his conception, his name…would you even baptize him as ‘Judas Messiah’? I’d work on yourself, first.
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That’s really not a nice thing to say at all. 😦
 
alleykat71172 said:
I’m out of ideas on convincing her.
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As disrespectfully as you talk about her, there is probably no way for you to convince her. I’d suggest you drop the subject entirely for now. Later on, maybe your husband could bring it up,since she seems to have a better relationship with him.
 
She is respecting your beliefs by refusing. She knows what you believe and does not want it applied to your daughter. My children were baptised by their grandmother without my knowledge. I don’t care because I don’t think it mean’t anything. Your daughter has more respect for your beliefs than I had for my Mother-lin-law’s. But maybe I have been an unbeliever longer than your daughter and learned more about the humanist value of tolerance. She may also fear that apitisx will intensify your urge to raise the child as a Catholic. Remember that many atheists truly believe this to be a breach of the rights of children, and potentially harmful to their mental health. Your daughter may have had bad experiences that reinforce this. Respect all round is what your family needs. Maybe considering involving a secular counsellor to resolve your differences?
 
alleykat71172 said:
My self proclaimed atheist daughter has an infant she continually refuses to baptize. I’m out of ideas on convincing her. She lives with us so there’s no reason my husband and I couldn’t take him to church with us and be responsible for his religious education but I digress.

The baby has to have a small surgical procedure, even so there’s always a chance things could go wrong. I know it’s generally not allowed to baptize the baby yourself unless they are on grave danger but what about this case? He will have to be put under and anything could happen. I’ve tried pleading and reasoning but of course she knows better than anyone. I’m at a loss as to what to do.
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Nothing you have said shows the child is in any danger so you are not permitted to have the child baptised against the parents wishes.
 
No, no, no. Do not baptize the baby against the mother’s will! Look at it this way: Would you like your Mormon mother-in-law to baptize your baby into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? This will not help the child. It will not help the mother.
 
I know several grandparents who baptized their grandchildren because the parents didn’t want anything to do with God. My own mother baptized some of her grandchildren, and the children (now adults) don’t even know they have been baptized.
 
bmaz said:
I know several grandparents who baptized their grandchildren because the parents didn’t want anything to do with God. My own mother baptized some of her grandchildren, and the children (now adults) don’t even know they have been baptized.
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Yes, it is unfortunate that many people treat baptism so superstitiously. The Church teaches against it. The Church has laws against it. People still do it. That does not mean it should be done.
 
They have bound these children to real spiritual laws. This is not a game. These children are bound to obey the law of the Church by nature of their Baptism.

Those who read my postings here know I do not say this lightly: Satan is delighted when there are baptized Catholics who are completely ignorant of that fact.
 
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