Daughter's Friend Wants To Be Baptized, But

[Cobbfmly]

her grandmother, who is her legal guardian, won’t let her choose a religion until she is an adult. Her grandmother feels she was forced to be Catholic as a child (she is now agnostic) and does not want to force her granddaughter to feel the same pressure. She is ok with her granddaughter exploring different faith traditions.

This girl is 12 yrs old and is not just wanting to be baptized to fit in. I can tell when this child is speaking of baptism, there is a desperate longing for baptism in her soul.

She has attended the local Baptist church with friends several times and she has attended the Catholic church with us once. Last time she visited us , I gave her my daughter’s illustrated children’s bible.

Has anyone else had experience with a child that wants to be baptized but doesn’t have the approval of his/her parent/guardian? What did you do to help the child?

Beth

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

1.) Pray- that Grandma’s heart changes, that the little girl holds out for baptism. Offer some Masses for both of them. Make them a rosary and novena intention.
2.) Befriend- Grandma, the girl. If Grandma is not adverse to the girl exploring different faiths, then she should not be adverse to the girl reading Catholic books, watching Catholic movies, etc. Certainly, Grandma could use a break. If you don’t mind taking this girl for a weekend here and there, that would be good. And of course IF it’s OK with Grandma, let her go to Mass with your family.

Who knows? This girl may be the one to lead her grandmother back to the Church.

Whatever you do, please do NOT contradict Grandma!!! She’s the boss, and as the guardian of two little girls, I can tell you that being a “retread parent” is not easy.

 

[seeker_b]

Yes I did have this experience with someone in my family. I did tell them that when they were 18 they could get baptised without any parental concent. (legal age where I’m from). That’s exactly what they did, got baptised at 18. Now at age 30 they are still attending and I just recently went to her child’s baptism. It can work out.

 

[decn2b]

Fortunately this child falls under baptism of desire.

 

[Marilena]

its nice that the young girl is taking an interest in Catholicism. but, she is under grandmas roof, and being cared for by her, so she has to abide by the rule of being an adult before she can be baptized. but things can change over time, and perhaps when she is a teenager, the grandmother will loosen up a bit.

 

[Brenda_V]

I really don’t know if I can add anything to what has already been said but thought I would reiterate a couple of things.

Definitely get to know the Grandma better, make sure she is okay with you giving the girl Catholic materials, ask for permission to bring her to Mass with you.

The girls desire for Baptism does indeed fall under the “Baptism of desire” so should she die before she becomes an adult, she is okay.

Never, ever, ever, contradict Grandma on discipline matters. If the girl comes over and says “Grandma said (something that is not true about the Church)” then let the girl know that sometimes misinformation gets out and you should be the one to give the Grandma the truth, then don’t be confrontational when you talk to Grandma about this misinformation.

This then leads into, get to know the Grandma, make her, along with the girl, a part of many of your family activities. Don’t try to “evangelize” with words unless she engages you. Let your actions (both sinful and good) speak for you.

Last, but definitely not least, pray for Grandma’s coming home to the Faith of her child hood. It could very well be that she had parents who did not let her explore the Faith and only told her that this is what you are going to do and believe! (this is where having Grandma around and seeing you answer your children’s questions about faith and life will let her see that there is way more to being a Catholic than what she was taught).

I will include all of you in my prayers today.

Brenda V.

 

[Ray_Scheel]

If I am reading canon law correctly, at the age of 14 she might be able decide to be baptized on her own even without her grandmother’s permission, but this is something that would ahve to be handled through the priest and probably the bishop too.

Can. 111§2 Any candidate for baptism who has completed the fourteenth year of age may freely choose to be baptised either in the latin Church or in another autonomous ritual Church; in which case the person belongs to the Church which he or she has chosen.