Daughter's friend

[AshJade]

I have 5 year old twins, a boy and a girl, who are in preschool. One of my daughter’s friends acts like a little teenager. She is obsessed with Monster High and other pop-culture things. She talks about having boyfriends and kissing. She makes fun of other kids and acts like a little “mean girl”. My daughter really likes her, but I feel like she is a bad influence on her. My daughter has started talking about boys too much and worrying about her looks.

I can’t stand this. I want my kids to be kids, not little teenagers. I don’t want to separate her from her friend, but I don’t want her to learn bad behavior and try to grow up too soon.

Has anyone else had this problem?

 

[PaulfromIowa]

There is a Culture War on and you, as a parent, have to decide which side you are on.

 

[mom2em]

Yes! I know exactly what you mean. My daughter also likes monster high. On her own boyfriends are never a part of the story. But add a friend and they do.I cannot reprimand someone elses child but I do tell mine when something she might be playing or saying is not appropriate. I tend to get some flack for it but so be it.

I don’t know how to slow down time or turn back the influences of others, society/culture. But I know what you eman.

 

[Allegra]

Your daughter’s friend is mostly likely imitating behavior that she has observed and associates with confidence and power, despite the fact that we know that it is false confidence and self-consciousness that usually generates such behavior. Most likely, she doesn’t understand what she is saying when she is talking about boys, but merely imitating phrases she’s heard older girls or televison characters say. The best thing that you can do is constantly remind your daughter that she is loved by her family and by God and that she doesn’t need to get attention in such an inappropriate way. This would be especially effective coming from her daddy.

You can help her self-efficacy by involving her in appropriate “grown up things” like making dinner, working in a garden, caring for a younger child, being in scouts, playing an instrument, making an outfit, hosting a party for friends, etc that will help her feel like a smart, capable “big girl” without requiring her to wear inappropriate clothes or act bossy and mean.

Then invite her friend over and maybe your daughter will have a good effect on her!

 

[LightFromLight]

I have 5 year old twins, a boy and a girl, who are in preschool. One of my daughter’s friends acts like a little teenager. She is obsessed with Monster High and other pop-culture things. She talks about having boyfriends and kissing. She makes fun of other kids and acts like a little “mean girl”. My daughter really likes her, but I feel like she is a bad influence on her. My daughter has started talking about boys too much and worrying about her looks.

I can’t stand this. I want my kids to be kids, not little teenagers. I don’t want to separate her from her friend, but I don’t want her to learn bad behavior and try to grow up too soon.

Has anyone else had this problem?

I’m afraid it may only get, worse, I remember being told things about sex by other kids when I was about 5 years old, which was 15 years ago and things have worsened since then. Its probably always been this way with kids, other children have a huge influence on their thinking.

My family did lots of childish things with me when I was younger, they always took to me the swing park, to the zoo, for toys, ice cream etc. Typical kind of stuff.

I suppose my only advice would be to give your child a real childhood, not sitting in watching television. If she has more fun doing kiddy stuff, she will be more likely to forget about pop-culture.

Hopefully someone can give you a better answer than I can.

God bless x

 

[thomasf]

Split her up from that friend. You’re her parent, you are supposed to raise her and keep her from bad influences. Obviously you don’t tell her you’re splitting her up, just find other things for her to do instead of her hanging out with the bad influence. And get her into church/religious activities, keep her away from that show.

You are the adult, the parent. You make the choices that are best for her. Period.