Daycare as grave matter

  • Thread starter Thread starter twf
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
somecanadian said:
We really need to knock off all this judgment and unrealistic expectation and face the reality of what it’s like to live in this world, here and now, today.
Click to expand...
That’s it in a nutshell.

I’ve long had a preference against daycare. I didn’t like the cost, (which would have put me in the hole, financially), the adult:child ratio, (probably better in Canada), and the petri-dish environment for illness. Pumping breastmilk hurt like the dickens, and I felt committed to breastfeeding. So I gave up a career that I loved and stayed home with my children.

We live in a culture in which we see one person’s choices as somehow being an assault on our own. So everyone ends up feeling resentful and unnecessarily defensive.

It’s hard to stay at home with children, and it’s hard to work outside the home and send children to daycare. This isn’t a Coke-vs.-Pepsi kind of choice; too many women feel backed into a wall with their options. Pointing at someone and labeling them a mortal sinner, especially without explicit Magisterial backing, just fuels the vitriolic Mommy Wars. We need to be gentle with each other.
 
He also comments that the request has to be “reasonable”. I couldn’t quote it from memory, but essentially no one is supposed to be abusive or selfish about it.
 
I was told once by someone that we (my family) should go on welfare because working did not provide as much income as we really needed while my husband wasn’t working.

It was noted to me by some friends that “people on welfare do pretty good.” I don’t know about that.

I always worked most of my life. The hard part is trying to figure out what to do when the child is sick and no one will babysit. When they are well, all is fine, but when they get sick, it can throw the boss a curve he did not expect. Then it’s “you take off too much time…”
 
This is a figment of your imagination. Of course charity is the rule and there are extenuating circumstances.

But the obligation does not cease, a man or a woman simply needs to learn sensitivity and self-control in the asking.

But either has the RIGHT to request of the other in justice and expect fulfillment.

In charity.
 
AdamP88 said:
40.png
BoomBoomMancini:
Daycare, good daycare anyway, doesn’t mean sticking your kid in a cell where they just stare at the wall all day. The one my daughter goes to has two adults for five kids, so plenty of adult interaction.
Click to expand...
Don’t care. I wouldn’t put my kid in a daycare. No matter how good they say it is.
Click to expand...
Good for you, but for you individually. What you would do or not do has no bearing on the topic.
 
MikeInVA said:
When I read comments about how someone doesn’t want to waste their education by staying home it seems like being a SAHM is considered a less valuable role than others.
Click to expand...
You are reading too much into this, adding to it, and making a straw man.
 
StAugustine said:
But either has the RIGHT to request of the other in justice and expect fulfillment
Click to expand...
I’ll go this far. Either party has the right to ask, sure. And both parties have an obligation to be generally concerned about the others sexual fulfillment. Meaning that both should care about the others sexual pleasure when they do have sex, and should do their best to be receptive to advances with reasonable frequency unless there is some reason they can’t.

What I don’t buy is that there is an obligation to have sex on any given night if the person is not in the mood. The obligation is more about a general attitude toward sex in the marriage, not a voucher that must be redeemable on any particular night.
 
Last edited:
(post edited in consideration of another’s feelings)
I am sure that any one as educated as Fr. R. understands that application of teaching on a society within a cultural frame work is not the same as doctrine. Such application is not only open to change, but has changed constantly from the First Century forward.
JulianN said:
It’s not up to Fr. Ripperger, it’s up to them.
Click to expand...
In the article I posted above by him, he made it clear it was the parents who determine the means, which could vary, to the ends of raising a Catholic Church. He was speaking of the state not making decisions for the parents, but the priest also is not the caretaker. What he said of the state applies to the Church. For guidance, the parents can seek help where they want, but that would usually be a priest who actually knew them and their situation.
 
Last edited:
When my son was young, I worked part time, second shift, 1-2 days per week. My parents watched him for about two hours until my husband got off of work and picked him up. I am so grateful he had that time with his grandparents. He will always have those memories, especially the time spent with his grandfather. If he had been in a daycare he would more than likely not remember one of those kids or their names or playing with them.
 
No, I think it is a legitimate thought. I am getting that impression also.

I don’t think it is a strawman either, because it can go right a long with the question. If it is wrong to put your child in daycare, what then should a mother do or is she supposed to do?
 
It’s a fascinating read. I just think that “working moms” is a redundancy. When I think of a mom in 1860, believe me, she was working her butt off from 5am until twilight. To this day, moms work hard, in and out of the home.

I’m not nitpicking you personally, but this otherwise interesting article could have worded it better.
 
You don’t seem to understand the point I was actually making. Someone earlier said that it was better to have kids stay at home with mom or with grandparents. I said that being the grandparent doesn’t automatically make someone a better choice than a daycare provider. Some grandparents are great care givers and others aren’t. My mother watches my son on our weekends to work. I would not trust my MIL with that same responsibility because she is flaky and doesn’t listen to us.
 
The straw man was that stay at home moms are of less value. It is a straw man because no one has suggested it or presented it as a point, yet it was being argued against.
 
I understood what you were sayig. I guess I didn’t say it too clear. I was just trying to say that staying with grandparents is usually, not always, but usually better than daycares. If it works out and there aren’t issues, I usually think family is best.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top