Daycare as grave matter

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I did, you might be right. Its not out of context, it is something he actually did not say. He gave an example of his dad. He never said that men have to do this. So its worse than out of context, its misrepresenting the man’s words.
 
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I only listened up to the point where he discussed having a headache as not an acceptable reason to say no. I believe that was roughly 30 minutes in but didn’t write it down. Honestly all the talk of demons was just exhausting me. It reminded me too much of my Protestant days where anything bad that anyone ever thought was blamed on demons.
 
I only meant the headache part. I didn’t get further than ‘having a headache is not an acceptable reason to say no to sex’. His constant blaming of demons for every little thing was exhausting and annoying.
 
I once heard a funny: men may wear the pants, but women control the zipper 😂
 
LOL! Oh goodness.

Personally I think it should be a mutual give and take. Should wives sometimes suck it up? Yup. Should husbands sometimes suck it up? Yup! There has to be some compromise. But that said, it’s okay to say: Not tonight, please. I have a headache.

A good husband wouldn’t want to push it beyond that but would be content to wait because, obviously, his concern should be for the welfare of his wife.
 
tafan2 said:
It was, he gave the example of his father working three jobs to support their family and his mother staying home.
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Well, that I agree with this to a certain degree.

If a husband & wife BOTH feel that the mother should be staying home to raise the kids but can’t afford it, the husband should be doing everything possible to make it happen (even if it means working multiple jobs) before they both give up and send the mother to work. Sending a mother to work for purely financial reasons should be the last option, not the first.

NOTICE: I said if they BOTH agree.
 
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How does forcing someone to have sex against their will in fulfillment of this so-called debt contribute to the common good of the marriage?
 
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Not once, not once did anyone say a spouse is to FORCE the other one to have sex but rather that intimacy between spouses is part of the marriage contract and it is natural and unites and strengthens the marriage and is an expression of love. It is giving, not taking.
 
What does sex have to do with daycare? (Aside from being a precursor to having said baby that goes to daycare)
 
After listening to parts of the talk (I will listen to the whole thing start to finish later) I think his quote is being taken out of context.

I think he was really referring to a wife who says “no to sex because she has a headache,” but really doesn’t have a headache. In other words, she says she has a headache because she’s simply doesn’t want to have sex.

His whole theme seems to be about the oneness of the husband and wife. So any husband who forces his wife to have sex when she honestly has a migraine headache is an selfish prick and is going against the concept of one flesh.

As a man who has a wife who almost never wants to make love, I know personally how damaging it is to a husband and how it can cause depression within the husband.

NOTE: I said “make love” not have sex. No wife is required to provide her husband with a lustful act of sex devoid of love. The marital act is not the act of having sex. It’s the act of making love, which is emotionally & spiritually very different.

The marital duty is not to have sex. It’s to make love.

I believe that is the point Father is trying hard to make. He’s trying to teach us that the Demons don’t want us to make love. The demons are totally fine with us having sex, but they don’t want us making love.

God Bless
 
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somecanadian said:
Except when we have spiritual leaders saying: Even if you don’t feel like it, you have to do it or your soul is in danger.

@Lifeisbeautiful3 It’s being mentioned because the talk of his that is linked in this thread addresses sex as well.
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He’s not saying you must have sex. He’s saying you must make love.

There is a HUGE difference
 
I’m wondering who these husbands are that are poking their wives to ‘make love’ when she has a headache.

But I get legit migraines and when I do my husband brings me ice packs, snuggles when I want, doesn’t when I don’t, and takes care of me. Sex is usually the last thing on his mind.
 
somecanadian said:
I’m wondering who these husbands are that are poking their wives to ‘make love’ when she has a headache.

But I get legit migraines and when I do my husband brings me ice packs, snuggles when I want, doesn’t when I don’t, and takes care of me. Sex is usually the last thing on his mind.
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AND THIS IS EXACTLY FATHER’S POINT!

A good husband would do EXACTLY what your husband is doing

Father believes that marriage is all about sacrificing one’s self for the other. You die for the other.

Therefore, the wife with the headache should be willing to make love with her husband, while at the EXACT same time, the husband should be love her without having sex and by taking care of her.

Marking love does NOT always have to have a sexual component. Husband & wives should be taking every single opportunity to “make love” even if it doesn’t include sexual activity.

Making love is first and more most a spiritual act.

God Bless
 
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See, I missed the part where he said the rest of what you said. If I’d heard that I wouldn’t have found what he said problematic.
 
You need to listen to the whole talk and not just comments on here. It is not fair to the priest because he actually mentions migraines when talking about headaches and how they can be debilitating.
 
I listened right up to the headache part then stopped because I found him incredibly frustrating.
 
What part of the video does he talk about the marriage debt. I am too busy to listen to it all, someone said around at the 30 minute mark, but I think that is wrong.
 
somecanadian said:
See, I missed the part where he said the rest of what you said. If I’d heard that I wouldn’t have found what he said problematic.
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This particular priest is often too academic and is often focused on theology in regards to the demonic. So when listening to him, you have to really understand the theology and philosophy that he’s using to make his arguments. Because he’s has a tendency to talk on a theology / philosophy graduate level instead of on a level where most Catholics are at.

God Bless
 
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somecanadian said:
I listened right up to the headache part then stopped because I found him incredibly frustrating.
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That’s because he has a tendency to talk as if you are a 6th year seminarian or working towards a Ph.D in Catholic Theology or Catholic Philosophy.

He’s not typically speaking as a pastor
 
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