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Book_Worm
Guest
How old is your DD?
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Contra_Mundum_1
Guest
Do you ever chat? You know, a bit of personal stuff here and there, so you get to know each other. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe you could ask if they are related. Or if they are married and have kids. See what they say. If they are evasive about the nature of their relationship then perhaps they are a couple.
I would also be concerned about gay PDA in front of my young kids. I think it is perfectly reasonable to be worried about such things these days.
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travissbeloved
Guest
She is two, I know that she’s fairly young and probably wouldn’t understand it if she saw it anyways but I just would not feel comfortable with it. If they are a lesbian couple and do nothing to show affection during the times the kids are in care then I have no problem with that at all. And I love the daycare so I do not want to pull her out, but I can’t sit here and say it’s not a concern for me because it is. With our society today seeing homosexual unions as so normal and fine it just seems like a plausible situation and I’ve never seen a man around. I’ve seen them out in public eating dinner together, they’re in their 30’s or so which is kind of strange to have a roommate at that age…I mean I don’t think it’s too far of a stretch to have some questions.
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MaryT777
Guest
It sounds like they are wonderful caregivers with crafts and presents for children. You really have three choices.
1: Accept they are professionals even if they may be homosexual and be thankful for the
excellent care. (Accept they may not be homosexual and you are wrong)
2. Ask them up front if they are ever affectionate together in front of the children and who
knows what that will lead to…
3. If it concerns you that much change daycare providers which would probably a be
difficult for your child as well with change especially if she seems happy there.
Mary.
1: Accept they are professionals even if they may be homosexual and be thankful for the
excellent care. (Accept they may not be homosexual and you are wrong)
2. Ask them up front if they are ever affectionate together in front of the children and who
knows what that will lead to…
3. If it concerns you that much change daycare providers which would probably a be
difficult for your child as well with change especially if she seems happy there.
Mary.
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travissbeloved
Guest
Thank you, this is helpful. We do chat but mostly about my child’s day and all of that. I will ask a couple questions but try not to be too intrusive.
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Prodigal_Son
Guest
travissbeloved,
I’ve thought for a moment, and realized that I may be being a bit self-righteous here. I know a number of people who are hurt deeply by false assumptions about homosexuals, so that’s causing me to be a bit defensive.
To be honest, if I were in your situation, I might be a bit worried, too. But I think that the worries, though natural, aren’t something to encourage in yourself, until you have further evidence.
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travissbeloved
Guest
Thank you, and that’s kind of what I have been waiting for too. I’ve been trying to see pictures on the walls or any of that but nothing. They basically use the downstairs portion as a daycare and the upstairs as their home so I can’t see much of the upstairs.
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agnes_therese
Guest
You might want to start checking out other day cares in the area, in case they’re offended when they realize you’re accusing them of being gay, and ask you to take your children out of theirs.
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KP3243
Guest
I feel like this is a legitimate concern for a mother. It is a tough spot because if they are being professional there isn’t any reason to worry but asking them might jeopardize a relationship with good caretakers who your child likes and could be hurtful to the ladies watching them but if your child is observing something that is against our faith you have a right to be concerned. My guess is that they are most likely professional in front of the kids. I would be more worried about what they learn in public school I know one of the concerns my own mother had sending me to daycare was the fact that boys and girls sleep right next to each other at nap time. They are kids so they aren’t thinking about the other kid next to them in a romantic way but it does sit in their heads that there isn’t anything wrong with sleeping next to the opposite sex from a very early age.
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KrazyKat
Guest
The majority of Homosexuals and Lesbians are not PEDOPHILES.
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Prodigal_Son
Guest
Huh? That’s not even close to what the OP is worried about.
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Contra_Mundum_1
Guest
Perhaps you have missed the OP’s posts so far. She is concerned about teachers’ possible PDA in front of her daughter. Go back and read it all before posting, it helps.
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Allegra
Guest
I was about to post something like this, but then I realized that since KrazyKat had obviously not read the rest of the thread at all, chances are he or she wouldn’t be reading my post either.
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travissbeloved
Guest
When did I say they were pedophiles?! I don’t want my children to see affection shown between two women…I’m not worried at all about them being pedophiles.
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Lorelei12
Guest
Presumably when your daughter started daycare there, you knew that these ladies lived together, correct? So is the only reason you are questioning them because you saw them eating dinner together at a restaurant?
I don’t think that just because two thirty-something women share a home and have dinner together automatically means they are a couple. If I were not married, I’d likely have a roommate in order to save money, and when I did have roommates we went out all the time together.
I think that if you are concerned, the best thing to do is, as other posters suggested, make some small talk, ask them what made them decide to open their own daycare, how long they have lived there, etc- just casual chit chat. You will likely get a better sense of whether they are in fact a couple or just two friends living together and can decide what to do from there.
I don’t think that just because two thirty-something women share a home and have dinner together automatically means they are a couple. If I were not married, I’d likely have a roommate in order to save money, and when I did have roommates we went out all the time together.
I think that if you are concerned, the best thing to do is, as other posters suggested, make some small talk, ask them what made them decide to open their own daycare, how long they have lived there, etc- just casual chit chat. You will likely get a better sense of whether they are in fact a couple or just two friends living together and can decide what to do from there.
Mary_Gail_36
New member
I would worry if they were acting inappropriately.
But, shouldn’t PDA’s between husband and wife in front of children should also be rated G?
I’m trying to think on how I greet my sister (we are Italian-American, so we are more demonstrative) I would give her a hug or a kiss hello or goodbye.
Would it be inappropriate for me to do that if I were baby sitting children? I never thought that I could be committing scandal by hugging my sister or kissing her hello/goodbye.
So I guess that if these two women have passed all requirements to run a daycare, and that you trust them to care for your child properly (and so far you haven’t said that your child isn’t being cared for properly) and you haven’t heard of anything inappropriate your child should be fine.
But, shouldn’t PDA’s between husband and wife in front of children should also be rated G?
I’m trying to think on how I greet my sister (we are Italian-American, so we are more demonstrative) I would give her a hug or a kiss hello or goodbye.
Would it be inappropriate for me to do that if I were baby sitting children? I never thought that I could be committing scandal by hugging my sister or kissing her hello/goodbye.
So I guess that if these two women have passed all requirements to run a daycare, and that you trust them to care for your child properly (and so far you haven’t said that your child isn’t being cared for properly) and you haven’t heard of anything inappropriate your child should be fine.
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Oneofthewomen
Guest
You keep saying you don’t want your daughter to see affection between 2 woman.
This confuses me a little.
Now, of course, I would not want any overtly sexual PDA’s ("French-kissing, groping, etc) to happen in front of my child by any adult- gay or not, but holding hands, a hug or a peck on the lips between 2 woman DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE LESBIANS!!!
I mean really!
I had a very dear friend who always greeted me with a long embrace and a kiss every time we met. We often held hands when we were together. She was a friend and mentor who was also one of the most faith-filled women I have ever met. Her & her husband had been married over 60 years. Hubby & I, 22 years, and God willing many, many more!
I know, OP, that your are only acting out of concern for your child, and I do understand how scary our world is, and that we want to keep our children safe, physically, morally & spiritually. You say you are pleased with their care of your child and that she enjoys her time there, and yet you have these feelings. There is obviously a reason that you have them, and maybe if you get to the root of where they are coming from, with the help of a priest or counselor if necessary, you will be better to make a decision.
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KrazyKat
Guest
Since this is weighing heavy on you I would voice my concern and ask them.
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livingwordunity
Guest
The practical advise I will offer is to show up unannounced at random times, not because they could be lesbian but because this is what I think parents should do if they use any day care no matter what sexual preference you suspect that the day care providers might have. Don’t ask if they are lesbian.
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Book_Worm
Guest
Let me see if I understand this. Your DD is in a facility where she is happy, safe, well cared for, and part of a program of which you approve. Her care providers are so discreet and circumspect that you, an adult, cannot ascertain their sexual orientation. But you believe that IF they are lesbians that your two-year-old MIGHT witness an innocent display of affection and that, by being exposed to two adults exchanging this affection, she would be harmed in some way.
I don’t know what your work history is, but in the forty-some years I worked I never saw two married professionals hold hands, kiss, or show any physical affection for each other. Extrapolating what you and your DH do at home in your non-working hours to how two professionals act toward each other in their business environment is illogical to me.
On the infinitesimal chance that your DD did see a brief kiss, I doubt that she would even notice it. We often kiss our friends, male and female, in greeting, and I do not remember ever giving it a thought as a child nor did my DD even seem to notice. As for holding hands, when would two people who are taking care of a room full of little ones ever have their hands free long enough to do that?
She is your DD and you are, of course, free to raise her as you wish, but in our changing world it is almost inevitable that she will see same-sex couples acting affectionately toward each other. I would doubt, however, that two people whose livelihood depends on having people feel comfortable with the environment in which their children spend a good part of their waking hours would be likely to do anything to destroy that comfort.
And please do not ask about their sexual orientation, no matter how subtle you think you are being. If they are lesbian, it will be all to apparent what you are doing and it is beyond rude. Their conduct may be your business, but their sexuality certainly isn’t.
I don’t know what your work history is, but in the forty-some years I worked I never saw two married professionals hold hands, kiss, or show any physical affection for each other. Extrapolating what you and your DH do at home in your non-working hours to how two professionals act toward each other in their business environment is illogical to me.
On the infinitesimal chance that your DD did see a brief kiss, I doubt that she would even notice it. We often kiss our friends, male and female, in greeting, and I do not remember ever giving it a thought as a child nor did my DD even seem to notice. As for holding hands, when would two people who are taking care of a room full of little ones ever have their hands free long enough to do that?
She is your DD and you are, of course, free to raise her as you wish, but in our changing world it is almost inevitable that she will see same-sex couples acting affectionately toward each other. I would doubt, however, that two people whose livelihood depends on having people feel comfortable with the environment in which their children spend a good part of their waking hours would be likely to do anything to destroy that comfort.
And please do not ask about their sexual orientation, no matter how subtle you think you are being. If they are lesbian, it will be all to apparent what you are doing and it is beyond rude. Their conduct may be your business, but their sexuality certainly isn’t.
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