deacon?

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hilde_the_dog

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Some of you may know that I feel a pull to be a deacon, it never goes away. I asked my wife again last night about the diaconate. She said she was fully supportive, and has told her friends at work about it (some were happy others not). I warned her she would be dragged into things, she said okay (huge for her). I love reading on Sunday’s. When saying the prayer of the faithful its painful when praying for those called to the diaconate- I know and feel that means me. So yes I must go forward, my wife is on board but I have this problem…I need three priests to give letters of recomendation.

One I have not been C forever(only five years, old former-calvinist). Two, and this is the problem, how do I get to know the priests better without self promoting myself so that I feel they could give a real letter to the bishop recommending me. I desire to be humble but how do I get them to support me without looking like I’m selling myself.

I read at mass and help teach CCD, but the priests don’t see that. I thought maybe the Deacon could help me. I have decided to put off becoming a deacon for two years (the cycle) until I could get proper support? Any thoughts? I pray over this all the time…its driving me nuts.

PS I must go out and cut back my rose bushes (100+) as this is where I think best, so I may not respond fast. And today is the day for St Raymond of Penafort, my saint. Thank God
 
hilde the dog:
Some of you may know that I feel a pull to be a deacon, it never goes away. I asked my wife again last night about the diaconate. She said she was fully supportive, and has told her friends at work about it (some were happy others not). I warned her she would be dragged into things, she said okay (huge for her). I love reading on Sunday’s. When saying the prayer of the faithful its painful when praying for those called to the diaconate- I know and feel that means me. So yes I must go forward, my wife is on board but I have this problem…I need three priests to give letters of recomendation.

One I have not been C forever(only five years, old former-calvinist). Two, and this is the problem, how do I get to know the priests better without self promoting myself so that I feel they could give a real letter to the bishop recommending me. I desire to be humble but how do I get them to support me without looking like I’m selling myself.

I read at mass and help teach CCD, but the priests don’t see that. I thought maybe the Deacon could help me. I have decided to put off becoming a deacon for two years (the cycle) until I could get proper support? Any thoughts? I pray over this all the time…its driving me nuts.

PS I must go out and cut back my rose bushes (100+) as this is where I think best, so I may not respond fast. And today is the day for St Raymond of Penafort, my saint. Thank God
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Tell your priest and ask him what he recommends.
 
hilde the dog:
Do you think its OK to ask that in confession?
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I don’t think it is a sin to want to be a deacon (attn: humor police, that was a joke), just make an appointment with the priest, you probably have to have your pastor’s recommendation anyhow and he can tell you how to proceed.
 
In my diocese you have to have been married for a min of 10 years…For the obvious reasons.
 
Part of the calling to the diaconate comes from your faith community. Most priests value the feelings of their flock especially in picking the people who will serve them. I was blessed with very strong support, now having been in my parish over 25 years. Maybe there are some in your parish that really support your calling. They can be your support and reference, when you ask for the priests’ recommendations.

Good luck and God bless,
Deacon Tony SFO
 
If this is God’s plan for you, He will get you there if you don’t get in the way - rejoice in that! Also, remember it 's on God’s timetable, not yours. Be patient.

That said, by all means ask for help as others have suggested! I am sure you will find more help than you need, and there is nothing prideful in the help/advice/suggestions you are asking for! Good luck!
 
Actually, I think you should be trying to sell yourself. Go to the Priests that don’t know you well, tell them what you want to do, and ask them how you can go about getting their reference. If you try to let them get to know you, so that you can get their reference, without telling them that is your goal, it’s kinda deceptive. Just be up front and honest, that should be the first quality their looking for in recommending you anyway.
 
How does one become a Deacon? Does this mean time spent at the seminary, the same as a Priest?
 
By all means, talk to your priest. Only YOU can make that first step. As a deacon’s wife, I can tell you that it is not a “couples” ministry. My role is strictly supportive. However, it has enriched our marriage in ways I never dreamed.

Here’s a link to what diaconate life is like in the Archdiocese of Detroit. Be sure to click on the links at the right side of the page.

aodonline.org/AODOnline/Vocations+2234/Permanent+Diaconate+7884/Who+Is+A+Deacon.htm
 
Have you had the priest(s) over for a simple family dinner? It is great for you and your wife and kids to get to know the priest and it’s an informal way of becoming acquainted. No doubt your participation in the parish will come at dinner in a natural way (if the priest doesn’t know you/recognize you or know about your support of the parish beforehand.) Thereafter (and assuredly, now, the priest will know your name and face!), you will feel much at ease to make an appointment with the priest to discuss your vocation and to ask for a reference. My husband and I had to switch parishes a few years back and we made it a point to get to know the priests by having them over and offering simple hospitality. It has made a huge difference to all of us in our family, and it’s wonderful for our kids to be greeted by name by their pastor!

Just a suggestion. God bless…
 
hilde the dog:

Just as a point of interest I, too, felt that same call. Only in my case it was 24 years from the time I first felt it until my ordination. The intervening years were spent getting practical experience in all sorts of areas.

You say you are active in the parish and that’s a good start. But you also have to be active in the community doing the corporal works of mercy.

One doesn’t have to be a life-long Catholic. My wife and I mentored a couple through the formation process and he was a Baptist (a gradutate of Oral Roberts University!).

My suggestion is to keep working in the parish, find a spiritual director that can help you, talk to the priests and tell them of your call so they can help discern it with you. This is not an issue of “selling yourself” but, rather, of doing wha the Church does. Nobody gets ordained just because they believe they have a call. That call must be submitted to the Church for validation and part of that is getting the local clergy involved.
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Houro:
How does one become a Deacon? Does this mean time spent at the seminary, the same as a Priest?
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While the formation covers some of the same material, it’s not the same as a priest. Generally there is no philosophy requirement and, as a result, there is no systematic theology that is dependent upon using philosophy.

The period of study ranges from four to five years and may take place on weekends or evenings during the week. Some dioceses associate this with graduate study and others don’t.

Deacon Ed
 
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Houro:
How does one become a Deacon? Does this mean time spent at the seminary, the same as a Priest?
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There are several years of study (5-4 years), with internships during the summer.It is generally evening classes and does not have to be at a Seminary (because otherwise, only diocese with Seminiaries could educate deacons).

In my case, I do take classes at a Seminary, but the neighboring diocese have other programs. Here is the program I am in (Archdiocese of Detroit).

aodonline.org/SHMS/Academic+Programs+13375/Permanent+Diaconate+6001/Permanent+Diaconate+Program.htm
 
Thanks all. I woke up today and decided it would be a great day to stop in at church on the way home to pray (I enjoy this). Maybe I’ll stumble into one of the priests who often prays alone in the dark if that fails I guess I’ll call him.
 
vocations.org/education/diaconate/default.htm

This is the link for the Chicago diaconate formation program. Most of the time, there are informational sessions available, whereby couples can attend a meeting to find out what is necessary in order to work toward becoming a deacon.

You are right in saying this is a calling and you feel a nagging in your soul to become one. Talking to your priest, or going to a spiritual director, your confessor are all good starting points to discern your possible vocation to the diaconate.

Every diocese may have a variance on the way a deacon in prepared for formation. Some are 4 yrs, other are 5yrs. Some require a discernment year…but in all cases a wife needs to be fully supportive. During that time, the couple is offered courses and possible a retreat as well as a mentor couple to help you decide if this vocation is truly what you are being called to do. A parish needs to sponsor you because they offset the cost of tuition as well. So you cannot do this all alone.
Once an application is filed, the diocese does a significant number of things before a man is accepted to the program. The usually will do a background check as well as MMPI test…Minnesota Multiphasic Personality inquiry…and you meet with a psychologist who reviews your results. Also a formation committee will interview both you and your spouse and ask pointed questions to determine if you would make a viable deacon. The application is indeed long and mine involved essays to be submitted regarding why I feel I have the calling to the diaconate. As I reflect back, I can’t believe I did all that I did along with my spouse! But the Holy Spirit was the source of all my ministry, study etc and remains that way today. Without His intercession, I truly believe I would not be ordained today.

Believe me it took me almost sixteen years of married life and also years before of a nagging within my own soul to answer this call. If you truly have a calling, it never stops. Pray on it!
 
hilde the dog:
Some of you may know that I feel a pull to be a deacon, it never goes away. I asked my wife again last night about the diaconate. She said she was fully supportive, and has told her friends at work about it (some were happy others not). I warned her she would be dragged into things, she said okay (huge for her). I love reading on Sunday’s. When saying the prayer of the faithful its painful when praying for those called to the diaconate- I know and feel that means me. So yes I must go forward, my wife is on board but I have this problem…I need three priests to give letters of recomendation.

One I have not been C forever(only five years, old former-calvinist). Two, and this is the problem, how do I get to know the priests better without self promoting myself so that I feel they could give a real letter to the bishop recommending me. I desire to be humble but how do I get them to support me without looking like I’m selling myself.

I read at mass and help teach CCD, but the priests don’t see that. I thought maybe the Deacon could help me. I have decided to put off becoming a deacon for two years (the cycle) until I could get proper support? Any thoughts? I pray over this all the time…its driving me nuts.

PS I must go out and cut back my rose bushes (100+) as this is where I think best, so I may not respond fast. And today is the day for St Raymond of Penafort, my saint. Thank God
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I’ll keep praying for you. I dont know if it is just a diocese decision or not, but in our area one only needs reccomended by their Pastor. Let me know how you make out. God will be with you through all of this.

Peace
 
I feel called to the permanent diaconate, but I do not know if I can become one, at least in my current parish and diocese, and in my current condition.

I am a former seminarian from years back who went through a “goodbye, good men” situation. Because of this, I was out of the church for years in anger. But God is good, and in time I reconciled with the Catholic Church and have since been deeply and gratefully a part of Her. Yet I cannot help but feel that my experiences have “tainted” me somehow, so if I approached the priests in my parish, I would immediately be rebuffed.

As well, my parish is a clique, and I am not a part of this clique. Two reasons account for this: first, I have to work much in order to support my famiy, which just barely allows me time to get to mass in the first place. As well, I can never make the parish’s meetings and special events, so I would feel out of place to share with a priest who barely knows me that I feel called to the diaconate. And second, my parish really pushes hard on the 10% tithe, and I can barely give $20 a week. Though I make good income, I have much debt that is thankfully being paid off and will eventually be done in a few more years. Yet I cannot help but feel that the parish is down on me because I am “not getting with the program.”

So as you can see, I have no time or means to give fully to my parish or get friendly with the priests or the bishop. I feel that I am such an outsider, so I suppose that I will never make it as a permanent deacon. Sometimes, I pray that God will inspire one of the priests to come up to me and say, “Hey Mozier, you know, you would make a really good deacon!” and then I would know that this calling is for real. But until that happens, or something else miraculous occurs, I will just stay the course and be the best layman I can be.
 
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mozier:
I feel called to the permanent diaconate, but I do not know if I can become one, at least in my current parish and diocese, and in my current condition.
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Mozier, it has less to do with your parish priest than it does with your diocese. Speak with the Vocations director. Also, I think you would be more welcomed than you realize. My husband and I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when he was accepted into formation. I told one of the deacons on the panel that we were worried because we felt we had a “spotty” past. His reply? “Who doesn’t?”

Good luck and God bless you, and hilde and all good men seeking to serve the Church according to their station in life!
 
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