Define “racy” are we talking hard core porn or sport illustrated?
Advise separation? Some of you people here are truly beyond belief, you definitely need a reality check. You don’t even know for sure what someone is looking at… or IF and you suggest that it may be worth breaking up a marriage?
If her husband was addicted he would know how to cover his tracks… obviously that’s not the case.
Secondly the OP tells us that their marriage is good, he is working on helping her and they are getting along better. Obviously his marriage is important.
Looking at naked women for arousal is bad, so is gossip… and while I need to check on this one, I would think that suggesting a Holy Covenant be broken because 1 side sins from time to time could be as well.
I believe some people here have an anti-porn obsession and should talk to their priest about that. Maybe it’s because you have low self-esteem or poor body image. I don’t know I don’t know you in real life but frankly I have had to lay off the board recently because of all the “leave him, he’s an addict!” posts.
Yea… break up a home, when so many are failing anyway because a man lusted after another woman in his mind. That IS going to happen no matter whither their is internet porn or the bad stuff on Cinamax or the Victoria Secrets catalog. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his wife, it doesn’t mean he is going to physically cheat or anything else… it’s just a fantasy.
Yes it’s wrong but quit blowing it out of proportion. Yes the Bible tells is that a man commits adultery in his heart if he lusts after another women. Please note, in his heart, but also remember that we need to look at the overall context of the passage. If you want to take 1 phrase out of a chapter to focus on rather than the whole books I can sit around and rip problem on our Faith with misinterpretations all day long.
The point is that when you look at the Bible as a whole, Catholicism is Christianity, we are truly the Faith that makes the Bible work. Yet some of you want to pick and choose a verse here and there to prove your point like Protestants then condemn people for a few mistakes. How easily we forget the blank in our own eye or the parable about casting the first stone…
Saddened…
Joe
Wow… um, where to begin with this? Okay, when someone gossips, unless the gossip is extremely slanderous in nature, usually it does not do as much damage to a woman’s psyche as knowing her husband is viewing porn!
You are comparing apples and oranges here. The man who pledged to be FAITHFUL to her in good time and bad has breeched that fidelity. That’s the bottom line. And by looking at another woman. Let me tell you what a good friend of mine said her husband’s porn habit made her feel:
“I am not attractive enough to satisfy my own husband, so he looks at other women.”
“He doesn’t trust me enough with his struggles to tell me he has a porn issue.”
“Maybe if I looked more like that, my husband would pay more attention to me.”
“Why does he this, when I’m always there for him and have never denied him sex?”
“I have been 100% faithful to our marriage, why doesn’t he have the same committment?”
“I’m worried that he has been thinking of these things when we have been intimate.”
Her and her husband sought counselling, and it has paid off, but sadly it has been a long road.
Joe, you clearly have no concept of how destructive this is to a marriage, and a woman’s view of herself! Yes, gossip is a sin. Yes, given the right circumstances it might even be a mortal sin. But masturbation and porn is ALWAYS grave matter. And it poisons the marital relationship like few other things can, aside from even graver infidelities of course.
You said “That IS going to happen no matter whither their is internet porn or the bad stuff on Cinamax or the Victoria Secrets catalog. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his wife, it doesn’t mean he is going to physically cheat or anything else… it’s just a fantasy.”
Seriously? Well, I’m sorry that YOU seem to have such a low opinion of your brothers, but I for one DO BELIEVE that it is possible for men to be pure and live out their marriage vows!
And BTW, a fleeting, unsolicited and then suppressed lustful thought is vastly different than masturbating to porn.
No one here expects men (or women) to never have such thoughts! But we do expect-- and rightly so-- that when they come, THEY ARE NOT ENTERTAINED.
“It’s just a fantasty?” Gimme a break. But then maybe I just have “a bad body image” huh, Joe?
And to the OP: Sister, there are wonderful Internet filters out there. I have heard great things about
BeSafe.com. They have ads on the radio all the time. You should check them out, they are supposed to be the best!
no one on here suggested a separation. The OP said her Priest would probably tell her to get a separation. Other posters have said they doubt the Priest would say that.