O
OLHope
Guest
I was at an anniversary banquet last weekend for “Glenn & Fran.” Glenn has a brother, “Al,” that is a loud/obnoxious/dying alcoholic. Now…, I have no one in my family who is this way, so I do not know how to behave around very deep-end alcoholics like this.
Everyone at this banquet was well aware of his disease and was being gracious and charitable enough by just ignoring him, as was I. However it seemed that he was making more of an effort to touch me more than anyone else. How? He was at another table and happened to be sitting behind my chair, and made several direct hard pokes to my arm…, now let me state that I DO NOT like anyone touching me, at all, anywhere. So, I just ignored it because lashing out would have made a scene and is, in general, completely inappropriate. The day before this, I had to pick up Glenn’s daughter so we could pick up another person from the airport. Well, like he usually is, Al was there…, and as I awaited Glenn’s daughter, I heard a very loud pound on my trunk, thinking, what the heck…, there’s Al, next to my car door, laughing…, and telling me to roll down the window…, he then tell’s me, “Now give me a kiss right here, he points to his cheek, and then taps it…, without getting too close, and just being nice, I lean over and make a muah sound, and roll up the window. The clincher for all of this was that he did and said the same thing with a kiss demand at the night of that banquet in front of a huge group of people.
I am so grossed out and disgusted by this man. His whole situation is very sad. I have known this man for 20 years, he used to be obnoxious when I played with his niece a long time ago, but the point of annoyance was never this bad. He has this cackling laugh, and thinks he is extremely funny, greatly laughing at his own jokes. Now he puts down a couple bottles of vodka a day, so it is apparent that he is killing himself. So much so, that…, and I have never seen this before on a drunk, but so much so that he is developing huge blood filled sac boils all over his body from his liver worsening. Now, I have seen a few alcoholics here and there, this circumstance, takes the cake, though. He lost his marriage in the late 80’s, his kids disowned him, he remarried and divorced again, and imposes on Glenn and Fran every chance he gets(literally the last people on earth who are willing to deal with him and save him). He had made a statement to Glenn that if he were to lose his job, if Glenn would be willing to take him in…, off guard, Glenn replied, well Yeah I’m not going to let you live on the street, but I have to ask my wife if it’s ok. Fran would never enable this, so Al knows it wouldn’t happen. Hearing this gossip, I vehemently told Glenn and Fran weeks ago to, by no circumstances allow this to happen, he’s planning to quit his job, which sure enough, he did on Thursday. He was supposed to go back yesterday, I haven’t heard anything yet because I have not called Fran back.
Now I teach Fran how to use the computer, but every time I know her brother in law is there, I tell her I have to cancel…, I am running out of excuses and don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I refuse to go there if Al is there. I told her good friend at the banquet to let Fran know I have tactile issues and to tell her brother in law to distance himself from me.
My questions are these:
Do I continue to tutor Fran and confront her about Al? I would tutor her at the library or my home, but she needs to learn her own computer in her house. Al is over all the time, and I know they are extremely embarrassed by him. They are doing a good Christian example by being charitable.
If any of you have experience in dealing with relatives, friends, or neighbors… how do you maneuver ways to avoid this type of annoyance other than using ignorance and space…, this man is still looking for love and attention in his 60’s…, I don’t know how to behave around him or people like this. I have heard they can become quite violent sometimes. I have no experience in dealing with a case like this. So what are some tactics that you have tried to fool or divert an alcoholic?
I’m sorry if this sounds insensitive.
Everyone at this banquet was well aware of his disease and was being gracious and charitable enough by just ignoring him, as was I. However it seemed that he was making more of an effort to touch me more than anyone else. How? He was at another table and happened to be sitting behind my chair, and made several direct hard pokes to my arm…, now let me state that I DO NOT like anyone touching me, at all, anywhere. So, I just ignored it because lashing out would have made a scene and is, in general, completely inappropriate. The day before this, I had to pick up Glenn’s daughter so we could pick up another person from the airport. Well, like he usually is, Al was there…, and as I awaited Glenn’s daughter, I heard a very loud pound on my trunk, thinking, what the heck…, there’s Al, next to my car door, laughing…, and telling me to roll down the window…, he then tell’s me, “Now give me a kiss right here, he points to his cheek, and then taps it…, without getting too close, and just being nice, I lean over and make a muah sound, and roll up the window. The clincher for all of this was that he did and said the same thing with a kiss demand at the night of that banquet in front of a huge group of people.
I am so grossed out and disgusted by this man. His whole situation is very sad. I have known this man for 20 years, he used to be obnoxious when I played with his niece a long time ago, but the point of annoyance was never this bad. He has this cackling laugh, and thinks he is extremely funny, greatly laughing at his own jokes. Now he puts down a couple bottles of vodka a day, so it is apparent that he is killing himself. So much so, that…, and I have never seen this before on a drunk, but so much so that he is developing huge blood filled sac boils all over his body from his liver worsening. Now, I have seen a few alcoholics here and there, this circumstance, takes the cake, though. He lost his marriage in the late 80’s, his kids disowned him, he remarried and divorced again, and imposes on Glenn and Fran every chance he gets(literally the last people on earth who are willing to deal with him and save him). He had made a statement to Glenn that if he were to lose his job, if Glenn would be willing to take him in…, off guard, Glenn replied, well Yeah I’m not going to let you live on the street, but I have to ask my wife if it’s ok. Fran would never enable this, so Al knows it wouldn’t happen. Hearing this gossip, I vehemently told Glenn and Fran weeks ago to, by no circumstances allow this to happen, he’s planning to quit his job, which sure enough, he did on Thursday. He was supposed to go back yesterday, I haven’t heard anything yet because I have not called Fran back.
Now I teach Fran how to use the computer, but every time I know her brother in law is there, I tell her I have to cancel…, I am running out of excuses and don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I refuse to go there if Al is there. I told her good friend at the banquet to let Fran know I have tactile issues and to tell her brother in law to distance himself from me.
My questions are these:
Do I continue to tutor Fran and confront her about Al? I would tutor her at the library or my home, but she needs to learn her own computer in her house. Al is over all the time, and I know they are extremely embarrassed by him. They are doing a good Christian example by being charitable.
If any of you have experience in dealing with relatives, friends, or neighbors… how do you maneuver ways to avoid this type of annoyance other than using ignorance and space…, this man is still looking for love and attention in his 60’s…, I don’t know how to behave around him or people like this. I have heard they can become quite violent sometimes. I have no experience in dealing with a case like this. So what are some tactics that you have tried to fool or divert an alcoholic?
I’m sorry if this sounds insensitive.
