Dealing With Anger Problem

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BintuluChuchGuy

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Hi everyone,God bless you this ordinary time season.

So,I think I got my M problem down,but I still cannot control my anger and be patient.
Its just that everytime I get angry,I shout so hard and do all kinds of stuff.I dont know there is just some kind of feeling of not wanting to contain the anger,I just wanna let it out through shouting.

Normally,I ust shout loud,but sometimes when Im real angry,I bang stuff.Just recently,I banged my laptop and now the screen’s broken.

Im quite ashamed of this :blush:and everyone in the neighbourhood knows that Im a hot-head.😦

It has been like this ever since I was 5 or 6 years old.Now Im 16,and just confirmed,and I dont want to be angry and impatient,well maybe express holy anger like Jesus(but thats a different matter).I wanna start being patient like an adult,and leave my ways of childhood.

Can you tell me some tips or prayers that can help a person become patient or some saints that had anger problems?

Im sorry this post is long.God bless you and JLU.
 
Do you know why you get so angry? It helps to know what will trigger your anger so as to avoid (if possible)(you can’t always avoid certain people) the situations/words/etc. that will anger you.

When you start to feel angry, take a deep breath and let out slowly. Keep doing this until you calm down. Shouting, yelling, etc. when you are angry just makes it worse. Letting the anger go is much better. Have you tried writing your anger out? I keep a journal just for this reason, to write out my feelings and figure out what is really making me angry. It helps greatly.

As for saints with anger problems, I know St. Jerome got into heated debates (don’t follow that but do follow his love of Scripture) and there’s another whose name I cannot recall that swallowed his anger and gave himself health issues.

I also suggest developing a sense of humour (if you haven’t already got one :D). Find the humor in a situation instead of letting it anger you is much more healthy. Eventually you find that situations that used to bother you don’t. I have.
 
BintuluChuchGuy said:
Can you tell me some tips or prayers that can help a person become patient or some saints that had anger problems?..
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Anger, pride and haterd are all inter-related. I reproduce below the advice offered by St. Louis of Granada in his famous book THE SINNER’S GUIDE (chapter - 39)
*In temptations to pride say: “When I reflect upon the depth of humility to which Our Savior descended for love of me, I feel that, however profound a contempt someone may have for me, I yet deserve to be still more humbled and despised”. Against anger defend yourself by saying: “No injury should be capable of moving me to anger when I reflect upon the outrages I have offered my God”. When assailed by temptations to hatred answer the Enemy: “Knowing the mercy with which God has received me and pardoned my sins, I cannot refuse to forgive my greatest offender”. *
 
BintuluChuchGuy said:
M problem down,but I still cannot control my anger and be patient.
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I used to have problems exactly like that, but in my case it had nothing to do with God or Jesus or prayer - it was because our parents were emotionally abusing me and my little sister and we had come to accept the abuse as normal. The anger came from knowing deep down it wasn’t. I didn’t need to say any rosaries, I needed to take her and run away to someplace safe.
 
Here are a few things to consider as aides in your struggle.

Pray of course. - In morning prayer ask particularly for help in overcoming this vise of Anger. Also, as often as you can remember repeat the small prayer In my Signature.

If you get angry and begin shouting etc. STOP immediately - mid sentence, mid sylable, mid punch. Do this as soon as you become aware of the anger. Then apologize to anyone in earshot for your outburst, say an immediate act of contrition, and repeat the short prayer in my signature once again.

You might consider wearing a blessed holy medal. Not something showy but big enough or heavy enough that you will be aware of it against your skin. The movement of the medal, along with the blessing, can help to keep you aware and on guard against fits of anger.

If you sense anger coming on, before you lose control, say a quick Our Father.

Any and all of these things can help you to keep aware of your emotional state and also help you to short circuit these angry outbursts. Over time you will find that you sense the problem earlier and earlier and will even begin to understand better what sets them off and what you can do to correct this.

Peace
James
 
All of the aforementioned replies are good, but one more thing is missing. You probably need a beating to set you straight. A couple of jacks right upside your mouth and a few gut shots should set you straight. Inevitably this will happen to you if you do not heed the advice of the previous comments.
 
croix_de_fer said:
All of the aforementioned replies are good, but one more thing is missing. You probably need a beating to set you straight. A couple of jacks right upside your mouth and a few gut shots should set you straight. Inevitably this will happen to you if you do not heed the advice of the previous comments.
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Well it’s nice of you to threaten a 16 year old with future violent encounters.
 
You’ve gotten some good advice from others here. And I just wanted to add a bit of psychology: venting does not help with anger. Actually, it makes it worse. People in the past have held to a “tea-pot view” of human emotions (that they need to be released to avoid “blowing up”), but expressing anger actually strengthens it and sets you up for more anger in the future.

If you’re breaking stuff, especially your laptop (!), this is something to work on or get someone to help you with. I’ll say a prayer for you bro!

Peace!
 
JaredR said:
… venting does not help with anger. Actually, it makes it worse. People in the past have held to a “tea-pot view” of human emotions (that they need to be released to avoid “blowing up”), but expressing anger actually strengthens it and sets you up for more anger in the future.

If you’re breaking stuff, especially your laptop (!), this is something to work on or get someone to help you with. …
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Very true Jared; expressing anger can make it an incurable habit. The best advice I would offer is: FEAR GOD! SHUN EVIL! But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. (Matt 5:22a)
 
I will tell you, it’s good you’re aware of your anger. Work on it now. You’ve got to get a handle on it NOW.

My 53 yr old husband is what you’ll be if you don’t deal with it now. He is finally going to classes to find out the whys/whats/hows of his anger. His anger has damaged many things, places & people.

Deal with it NOW.👍

God bless and I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
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