L
lovedance4ever
Guest
As some of you may know, I was a dancer for 12 years, and during that time, I guess I was pretty thin…but not thin enough. I’m 5’11" and for a girl, ESPECIALLY a ballet dancer, that’s too tall. I decided to compensate by losing as much weight as I could, so I stopped eating, and did some other things I am embarrassed to talk about. I lost 20 more pounds, but was eventually caught when I passed out in class one day. My dance instructor was none too pleased with my behaviors.
When I was 16, I fractured my spine and that was basically the end of my life as a dancer, as I knew it; that summer, I was supposed to attend a very prestigious ballet academy that trains dancers to be professionals. Needless to say, I was devastated.
Then I started to gain weight due to inactivity; I was NOT overeating, but it’s like the sudden shock to my body packed on the pounds. I had been dancing 6 days a week for 20 (sometimes more) hours, year round and not including the added hours for Nutcracker rehearsals every September through to December.
So now, here I am, still overweight and extremely depressed. I hate my body and myself for looking this way. My mom says I see myself as much larger than I actually am, but all I know is, when I look in the mirror, I see a horribly large and ugly girl.
The back pain along with other physical problems (which resulted from the years of dancing) makes it difficult to exercise on a regular basis, though I really want to.
I still struggle with eating at times. There are days when I don’t eat, or when I’m afraid to eat, or when I am extremely tempted to go into the bathroom after a meal…It’s making me miserable.
Please pray for me. And if you have any advice about how to deal with this, I’d greatly appreciate it.
Thanks,
Christa
When I was 16, I fractured my spine and that was basically the end of my life as a dancer, as I knew it; that summer, I was supposed to attend a very prestigious ballet academy that trains dancers to be professionals. Needless to say, I was devastated.
Then I started to gain weight due to inactivity; I was NOT overeating, but it’s like the sudden shock to my body packed on the pounds. I had been dancing 6 days a week for 20 (sometimes more) hours, year round and not including the added hours for Nutcracker rehearsals every September through to December.
So now, here I am, still overweight and extremely depressed. I hate my body and myself for looking this way. My mom says I see myself as much larger than I actually am, but all I know is, when I look in the mirror, I see a horribly large and ugly girl.
The back pain along with other physical problems (which resulted from the years of dancing) makes it difficult to exercise on a regular basis, though I really want to.
I still struggle with eating at times. There are days when I don’t eat, or when I’m afraid to eat, or when I am extremely tempted to go into the bathroom after a meal…It’s making me miserable.
Please pray for me. And if you have any advice about how to deal with this, I’d greatly appreciate it.
Thanks,
Christa