Dealing with braggarts

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How do you deal with snobs who flaunt their successful, happy lives? SIL brags about how many friends they all have, their children’s endeavors, how happy their lives are, how knowledgeable of the faith she is, how many people and parties she hosts at their huge house, etc.

How do I, who am struggling financially, marriage-wise, and in finding friends for my children, deal with such a person without feelings of jealousy and resentment? Our lives are complete opposites.

How does one feel “happy” for someone who endlessly brags about how “blessed” she is?

Peace.

+JMJ+
 
Just smile and say, “I am happy you are so blessed, thanks be to God.”
 
Irishmom2 said:
Just smile and say, “I am happy you are so blessed, thanks be to God.”
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This! 👍

It’s been my experience that anyone who constantly brags is typically quite insecure and is lacking something in his/her life. By bragging, they’re probably equally trying to convice not only you that their life is so great, but themselves as well.
 
Braggarts are annoying, but no more than that. If they seem to expect a reply, something along the lines of “how nice for you” could work. Or a hearty “bless your heart.” Or, as was mentioned in another thread, a simple “oh.” 😃
 
jmj777 said:
How do you deal with snobs who flaunt their successful, happy lives? SIL brags about how many friends they all have, their children’s endeavors, how happy their lives are, how knowledgeable of the faith she is, how many people and parties she hosts at their huge house, etc.

How do I, who am struggling financially, marriage-wise, and in finding friends for my children, deal with such a person without feelings of jealousy and resentment? Our lives are complete opposites.

How does one feel “happy” for someone who endlessly brags about how “blessed” she is?

Peace.

+JMJ+
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If some of this is over social media, you can ignore posts or unfollow a person (on Facebook, this can be done without their knowledge.)

If this is happening in real life, you can elect to spend less time together.
 
Tsuzuki said:
Stop comparing yourself to other people and focus on your own life.
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Could the mods make the above a permanent sticky, maybe in bold flashing red letters?

Because that is the best answer to something like 20% of the posts here. Maybe more.
 
jmj777 said:
How do you deal with snobs who flaunt their successful, happy lives? SIL brags about how many friends they all have, their children’s endeavors, how happy their lives are, how knowledgeable of the faith she is, how many people and parties she hosts at their huge house, etc.

How do I, who am struggling financially, marriage-wise, and in finding friends for my children, deal with such a person without feelings of jealousy and resentment? Our lives are complete opposites.

How does one feel “happy” for someone who endlessly brags about how “blessed” she is?

Peace.

+JMJ+
Click to expand...
Stop thinking of them in terms of “bragging”. I know that relationships can by difficult at times and so if they really irritate you then pray for them.

When you see them, as long as this does not entail renouncing some area of your own faith (practicing or saying things against the faith) then be joyful when they are in your company, if they are joyful, mourn when they mourn etc…(I think St. Paul said this).

This will change your attitude to a be-attitude. Not always easy. To do this, putting others first is important, before our own feelings. If one takes the responsibility onto one’s own shoulders, in being all that God wants us to be, for others, and we are doing this purely and simply because we know God desires us to do this, then one can say at the end of the day: “I have done my duty”. And move on, until next time.
 
Yes I have come across people who brag and they do this out of weakness. Relatives can be particularly difficult to deal with. I would suggest the OP just smile and and “that’s nice” to the SIL and when the other family members bring up comparisons just say “that’s nice.” People who are truly talented do not brag.

Try not to compare yourself with someone else. We are where God wants us.
 
Just ignore them. People like that are looking for attention…they are driven by conflict.

Don’t try to one-up them by bragging too…they will simply counter and they will enjoy you feeding into their drama.

One way to starve people like this is a very neutral response, like a very calm, "Oh! That’s interesting!) and then change the subject or walk away to do something else.
 
Make sure it is bragging and not you being so jealous that you see bragging in what might be her just sharing life stories in normal conversation like we all do.
 
Tsuzuki said:
Stop comparing yourself to other people and focus on your own life.
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Yes. Definitely Pray and Thanks be to God everything is great for them.

Focus on your own life, praying to God for clarity and help and tackling the problems such that you will also enjoy less difficult life in the future.
 
JoyousCatholic said:
Just ignore them. People like that are looking for attention…they are driven by conflict.

Don’t try to one-up them by bragging too…they will simply counter and they will enjoy you feeding into their drama.

One way to starve people like this is a very neutral response, like a very calm, "Oh! That’s interesting!) and then change the subject or walk away to do something else.
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Oh, that’s interesting.
 
friardchips said:
Oh, that’s interesting.
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what, you are stalking me across all my threads now??

Lol!! Get a life and stop trolling me. I will now proceed to ignore you here too cos you are clearly trying to provoke conflict. Not very Catholic of you.

Pax!
 
pensmama87 said:
If some of this is over social media, you can ignore posts or unfollow a person (on Facebook, this can be done without their knowledge.)

If this is happening in real life, you can elect to spend less time together.
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Or simply not be sucked into social media at all!

One can elect to spend time elsewhere and sometimes this is the only option.

Sometimes, leaving people behind is the only option. And sometimes, all one can do is pray for people when they come to mind.
 
JoyousCatholic said:
what, you are stalking me across all my threads now??

Lol!! Get a life and stop trolling me. I will now proceed to ignore you here too cos you are clearly trying to provoke conflict. Not very Catholic of you.

Pax!
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Just pointing out the hypocrisy.
 
friardchips said:
Just pointing out the hypocrisy.
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And you actually ran a search for all my threads…just so you can come up with something that you *perceive *is contradictory?

Wow! While I feel flattered by your attention, I am honestly not interested. Run along now.

PS - I will henceforth be ignoring you in this and any other threads that you decide to stalk me on.
 
JoyousCatholic said:
And you actually ran a search for all my threads…just so you can come up with something that you *perceive *is contradictory?

Wow! While I feel flattered by your attention, I am honestly not interested. Run along now.

PS - I will henceforth be ignoring you in this and any other threads that you decide to stalk me on.
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I have only seen you on this thread and one another.

Going by the content of my post, I don’t think being “flattered”, is a very logical reaction; in fact, it is most irrational.
Very odd.
 
jmj777 said:
How do you deal with snobs who flaunt their successful, happy lives? SIL brags about how many friends they all have, their children’s endeavors, how happy their lives are, how knowledgeable of the faith she is, how many people and parties she hosts at their huge house, etc.

How do I, who am struggling financially, marriage-wise, and in finding friends for my children, deal with such a person without feelings of jealousy and resentment? Our lives are complete opposites.

How does one feel “happy” for someone who endlessly brags about how “blessed” she is?

Peace.

+JMJ+
Click to expand...
A response along the lines of, “That’s great…God has really blessed you” would remind the person that:
  1. All their blessings really come from God and no one else; and
  2. They need to be thankful to God for those blessings.
This may tone down their bragging (if that in fact is their purpose in bringing up all this stuff).

As for your own feelings, remember the old adage that “Comparison is the thief of joy”. You can always find people who are richer/smarter/happier/have a better life than you. All of us can; we are all aware of our own shortcomings and stuggles, even if they are not readily apparent to others. Focus on how God has blessed you in your life and be thankful for that.

This really resonates with me as I frequently struggle with feelings of inadequacy as a husband/father/man/child of God. You’re not alone in this struggle and will be in my prayers.
 
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