Dealing with criticism from other Catholics for being Catholic

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my mom was always the “holy one” in the family, but we never discussed religion. went to church every sunday, lots of religious images in the house, nightly prayers, but that’s it.

then my sister and i started to embrace our faith (for different reasons) and now mom looks at us strange, wonders what’s happened to us. i was telling her about a book i was reading, the spirit of the liturgy by BXVI, and she goes off saying i shouldn’t believe everything i read, he’s just a man after all! but, she does see our fire and so she is reading the bible now, but she’s just reading it like a novel and “it’s a lot of repetition”

i don’t know, i just keep praying that the spirit will move her in the right direction.

basically you are not alone as you have already seen.
 
Wow, can I ever identify with all of you here! I wish I lived around
more people like you! Sometimes I feel so alone. I am the
known “very religious” one in my family. My Dad who is Catholic
always took us to Mass on Sundays and my Mom, a Lutheran
supported that. My Dan and three sisters all still go to Mass,
however wouldn’t do something like attend classes we had at our
church at times, go on a retreat, read a religious book, listen
to Catholic radio, etc.
I was raised in the 60’s and 70’s, went all through Catholic
school. When I discovered Catholic radio about 7 years ago
I was amazed at all that I didn’t know, and I am constantly
learning more .
I remember in the 70’s helping out at a parish function where we were sitting at a table with a nun who was talking about looking forward to watching “The Thorn Birds” series that was on at the time. (If you don’t remember, the storyline revolved around the
romantic relationship between a priest and a woman!), I watched it too, with a nun watching it I wouldn’t have thought not to.

The same with the election - they are all pro-life, but don’t understand why I single out the life issues as first priority. It does make me very sad at times because I realize they don’t know what they are missing. 😦
 
embwt said:
However, I thought my coming around to the fullness of truth would be embraced with a “welcome home” (as it is here on CAF). In reality, it’s been met with criticism from other Catholics. I think that’s where I’m troubled. I feel like shouting, “I’m finally home!!” But nobody (except here on CAF) wants to here it. 🤷
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Oh, they’re out there. 😉 They just may not be any of the people you know yet. Finding an orthodox faith community can be difficult these days, but they do exist and they are (in my experience) quite close-knit because of it. If there is a parish in your area that has perpetual eucharistic adoration, or a respect life committee, or hosts a course on NFP, you might check it out. Those are usually the more traditional, loyal Catholics, and they will be happy to welcome you home. 👍
 
I’m a tripping and stumbling Catholic–hadn’t seen that category mentioned–but feeling welcome as such at the door of any Catholic parish is what I’ve always treasured about being in the Catholic family. We don’t always all agree, understand, trust, conform or enter into the fullness of the faith at the same pace/age/time. I think everyone here needs to be careful to avoid sounding smug in how they practice/believe and remember almost no one arrives at the finish line of life without a few welts, scars and bruises from the struggle of the journey. For many of us, it is just this struggle that keeps us coming back and trying to do it better. Being met with self-rightousness is rarely encouraging.
 
Island_Oak said:
For many of us, it is just this struggle that keeps us coming back and trying to do it better. Being met with self-rightousness is rarely encouraging.
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**I think struggling Catholic and faithful Catholic are synonymous. Only someone wanting to embrace the fullness of the Truth would see the value in struggle and sacrifice. But embracing and being “perfect” enough to never make mistakes are two different things…

**
 
My family is going through a bad time right now and I have been praying extra hard for those involved. I mentioned praying to my mom and she said she believed that it was the “intention” that mattered. In other words, the fact that you intended to say the rosary was as good as saying it…

No wonder I stopped going to Mass when I was a young adult.

She has viewed my recent (2 years now) regular attendance at Mass and my being quite involved in parish activities as rather strange. I have taken her to Mass at my church and offered to talk to her parish priest about visiting her at home (she is usually housebound) but she doesn’t want to see him “yet”.

I work with some athiests and they occasionally ask me about Catholicism. I am no expert but I try find the answers if I don’t know then. They recently called me a “cultural Catholic, not a fundimentalist” and I was a little taken aback. I think I am pretty orthodox without being pushy… 🤷
 
Island_Oak said:
Being met with self-rightousness is rarely encouraging.
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That’s the whole point of this thread. I’m being met with self-rightousness for believing what the Church teaches. If anywhere in what I said it sounded like I wanted those that didn’t believe everything the Church teaches somehow reprimanded, that is incorrect. But I feel like I am being “reprimanded” for believing. Have patience for those who don’t fully embrace the faith, sure. But the focus of the thread is not on those who do not embrace the faith, but those who do.
 
surf(name removed by moderator)ure said:
Oh, they’re out there. 😉 They just may not be any of the people you know yet. Finding an orthodox faith community can be difficult these days, but they do exist and they are (in my experience) quite close-knit because of it. If there is a parish in your area that has perpetual eucharistic adoration, or a respect life committee, or hosts a course on NFP, you might check it out. Those are usually the more traditional, loyal Catholics, and they will be happy to welcome you home. 👍
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It’s not just finding a faithful parish that’s the problem. Your suggestions are good for finding other faithful Catholics. I have done that to search out others who are more faithful to the Church’s teachings, but that’s not what I’m looking for in this post. The problem is other Catholics in my extended family in other states. It’s friends in other states that are Catholic. It’s friends locally that are Catholic. I’m not looking to run away to a Catholic utopia, I’m simply looking for ways to deal with the criticism from these Catholics.
 
Island_Oak said:
I’m a tripping and stumbling Catholic–hadn’t seen that category mentioned–but feeling welcome as such at the door of any Catholic parish is what I’ve always treasured about being in the Catholic family.
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I’m right with you. We’re all tripping and stumbling Catholics. But I do NOT feel welcome at any Catholic parish. I used to feel welcome. Not anymore. What’s changed? I now believe what the Catholic Church teaches. And for that, I am not as welcomed in some Catholic circles. How do you suggest I deal with this criticism?
 
embwt said:
I’m right with you. We’re all tripping and stumbling Catholics. But I do NOT feel welcome at any Catholic parish. I used to feel welcome. Not anymore. What’s changed? I now believe what the Catholic Church teaches. And for that, I am not as welcomed in some Catholic circles. How do you suggest I deal with this criticism?
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how did Jesus deal with the criticism from his jewish brothers? turn the other cheek. just live your very catholic life. jesus knows that following him won’t be peaceful for you. but you must persevere.
 
embwt said:
It’s not just finding a faithful parish that’s the problem. Your suggestions are good for finding other faithful Catholics. I have done that to search out others who are more faithful to the Church’s teachings, but that’s not what I’m looking for in this post. The problem is other Catholics in my extended family in other states. It’s friends in other states that are Catholic. It’s friends locally that are Catholic. I’m not looking to run away to a Catholic utopia, I’m simply looking for ways to deal with the criticism from these Catholics.
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I believe I know just what you mean.

The word “apostolate” comes to mind. At our parish, for example, we have a Family Life Apostolate, the purpose of which is to encourage one another in our commitment to evangelization by way of raising strong Catholic families. Many of us take a great amount of abuse for our choice to be open to life beyond having the “standard” number of children. So it is invaluable to have a place where we are built up and given courage to do what needs to be done.

But in addition to that, we realize that it is precisely what we are doing, in following the Church’s teaching, that is the greatest witness to the world – including the unaccepting Catholics. My husband and I know that our loudest and biggest message of evangelization to our fallen away brethren is going to be the very joy that is at the heart of our family. Right now while our children are young, all everyone else sees is the great personal sacrifice, but in a few years they will begin to see the fruit that is already coming forth – the peace, steadfastness, and lasting joy of living in surrender to God and one another.

So while you are feeling so alone and rejected, remember that unless we experience this, we cannot unite ourselves to the Passion of Christ, who suffered the greatest rejection in the history of the world. This is a time to offer up every instance of hurt and rejection to God, and ask Him for the grace to endure it, and the strength and wisdom to act in holiness, that your cross might be your apostolate to those in your life who need it the most.

Courage, friend. If Our Lord suffered loneliness even in the company of the twelve apostles for our sake, surely we can suffer it in the company of our family and friends for His. 🙂
 
embwt said:
I’m right with you. We’re all tripping and stumbling Catholics. But I do NOT feel welcome at any Catholic parish. I used to feel welcome. Not anymore. What’s changed? I now believe what the Catholic Church teaches. And for that, I am not as welcomed in some Catholic circles. How do you suggest I deal with this criticism?
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I guess it depends on what exactly you’re encountering. If it’s odd glances or rolling eyes–you can either ignore it or inquire if something you said was in error. It’s a less confrontational way to open the door to a discussion.

If someone has a different interpretation, understanding or level of acceptance, the only thing to do is explain your perspective as clearly as possible. Acknowledge that being a Catholic is never an easy road–and that you’re trying to follow Her teachings as best you know how. That way no one is put on the defensive. Criticism may be impossible to avoid, but you are given an opportunity to educate and share your struggle.
 
Island_Oak said:
I’m a tripping and stumbling Catholic–hadn’t seen that category mentioned–but feeling welcome as such at the door of any Catholic parish is what I’ve always treasured about being in the Catholic family. We don’t always all agree, understand, trust, conform or enter into the fullness of the faith at the same pace/age/time. I think everyone here needs to be careful to avoid sounding smug in how they practice/believe and remember almost no one arrives at the finish line of life without a few welts, scars and bruises from the struggle of the journey. For many of us, it is just this struggle that keeps us coming back and trying to do it better. Being met with self-rightousness is rarely encouraging.
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Me too! I didn’t mean to come off as smug at all so I’m sorry if I did. I struggle all the time which is why I tend to keep to myself in instances where I talk to someone who is in a different place in their journey, even if I disagree with them. Patience goes a long way.
 
embwt said:
Over the past several years, I have been coming back to the faith and have come to accept all that His Church teaches. However, my family and some friends (mostly Catholic) seem to treat me as if there is something wrong with me because I actually believe what we, as Catholics, say we believe. Has anyone else experienced this? Do you have any advice for how to stay true to the teachings of the Church in this situation?
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Indeed…our faith often means different things to different believers. Many Catholics are inactive, but still say they’re Catholic. Some never understood the deeper implications of being Catholic in the first place. Sadly, some are not disciples of Christ. I had a supposedly Catholic co-worker once ask me why I’m so religious. She actually said, “Catholics usually aren’t that religious.” I found her attitude very disappointing.
 
KingAlfred said:
Indeed…our faith often means different things to different believers. Many Catholics are inactive, but still say they’re Catholic. Some never understood the deeper implications of being Catholic in the first place. Sadly, some are not disciples of Christ. I had a supposedly Catholic co-worker once ask me why I’m so religious. She actually said, “Catholics usually aren’t that religious.” I found her attitude very disappointing.
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What is frightening to me is the acceptance of relativism among many wannabe Catholics. They neither follow the moral laws of the Church about several very important subjects, nor do they take the trouble to try to form a “right” logical conscience. They believe the Church has said they can use only their own conscience in making judgements about Natural Laws.

I am sick at heart.
 
I think it helps to remember that a lot of those Cafeteria Catholics are at a less “mature” or “developed” stage in their faith, but they are still on a journey, just like the more faithful Catholics. I think the OP can be an example to her family by saying she goes to Mass. I invited a agnostic friend with me to Mass for the past couple of weeks and rather than saying that it is a mortal sin for me to miss Mass, I explained that I feel better when I go. I respond with the same answer with my family (they are lapsed Catholics, to put it positively.) I find it makes people less defensive when I explain the positive reasons for attending Mass, rather than saying I have to go because it is a mortal sin not to.

Like many others here at CAF, I often feel lonely because most of my Catholic friends think I am “over the top” for still believing “everything” the Church teaches. I have a long way to go on faithfully living and practicing my faith, and I stumble on a daily basis, but I still believe the Church is right on issues I dont yet fully understand. But if it wasnt for CAF, I would feel like the only Catholic who felt that way!

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
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