Dealing with disappointment.

[twoangels]

I think your parents’ overreacted. If I see any signs of immaturity it is this. When we are children, we look to our parents’ reactions to determine how we ought to feel and react to a given situation. My daughter will sometimes stumble and look at me. If I say “ga boom” and might light of it telling her that she is ok, she often doesn’t even cry. The few times I’ve gotten overly nervious and have been like “Are you ok?” she first looks at me, sees my panic, and then cries.

As we grow up, we are supposed to learn to make these judgments for ourselves. We recognize that it is often impossible to please everyone, that there will always be people around to criticize us, etc.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m 31 and am still struggling with this. I have to be careful about telling my mom life decisions my husband and I are making. Sometimes they are in her favor, but sometimes she’ll be overly forthcoming and say something like “Well that was stupid.” I still have to remind myself that just because she tells me I made a stupid decision does not mean I made an objectively stupid decision. Her judgment can be wrong, and by putting too much stalk in it, I limit my independance from her. I could live in fear all my life of making the wrong decision. In fact, in my marriage I have a sort of anxiety to confide to her all my plans to get her to rubber stamp it. If I don’t, I get anxious or at least I have in the past. But this is my life now. I have to be free to make my own mistakes just as she made her own mistakes.

You know, when I was very very young, my parents told me I was very mature because I wasn’t engaging in the typical teenage rebellion. But looking back, I was staying at the maturity level of an 11 year old. I wasn’t getting into trouble because I still held my parents’ as being more perfect and wise than any adult is. So while teenagers can make some pretty stupid decisions and ignore good advise from their parents’, its still a lesson of growing up to make your own mistakes.

So cut yourself some slack. At most, I would apologise to your mom for her pain. I would assure her that it was not intentional. That’s all you can do. Don’t ignore their hurt, but also don’t let yourself fall into demeaning your own value, intelligence and worth because of it.

My brother-in-law changed his face book status from married to single implying he divorced my sister. Once I realized it was an April fool’s joke, it was a laugh. My husband says he wish he would have thought of it. The one thing though to consider is how my sister would take it. Some women may be really sensitive. Others may have a better sense of humor. So just remember that people’s sensibilities may be very different. Some people it may just be better not to play April fools pranks on at all.

 

[topher98]

After typing my last message, I got a call from my father explaining how angry he was at me and how he still extremely disappointed, sad, and worried for me. It seems as thought nothing has changed (or if anything tensions have gotten worse) over these past few days.
I will send my letter tomorrow in the mail to them and that will hopefully begin our reparation.
The only qualm I have is this (and this is the basis of my original intention for the joke): if my parents know me so well, and they do: they know my morals, they know I’m serious when it comes to God’s law and when it comes to grave issues, (such as children out of wedlock), I would NEVER EVER commit such a heinous act. With that in mind, and with my parents knowing this about me, I sent them this as a joke, hoping they would immediately realize “Oh, wait, we know how he actually is and that he would never do this, nice try Christopher” or something to that effect. That was my original intention: for them to get a scare, then a quick chuckle.
Oh, how I misjudged.
I am, of course, NOT defending my actions, but this was my point of view at the time of my decision.

 

[Sara_Balzano]

Since it appears that they are not willing to listen to you right now, sit down and compose a sincere apology to them via email. I would not try to defend myself, just tell them how sorry you are, no excuses. Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance before you write the apology. I’ll say a prayer for you and hang in there!

I second that.

 

[EasterJoy]

After typing my last message, I got a call from my father explaining how angry he was at me and how he still extremely disappointed, sad, and worried for me. It seems as thought nothing has changed (or if anything tensions have gotten worse) over these past few days.
I will send my letter tomorrow in the mail to them and that will hopefully begin our reparation.
The only qualm I have is this (and this is the basis of my original intention for the joke): if my parents know me so well, and they do: they know my morals, they know I’m serious when it comes to God’s law and when it comes to grave issues, (such as children out of wedlock), I would NEVER EVER commit such a heinous act. With that in mind, and with my parents knowing this about me, I sent them this as a joke, hoping they would immediately realize “Oh, wait, we know how he actually is and that he would never do this, nice try Christopher” or something to that effect. That was my original intention: for them to get a scare, then a quick chuckle.
Oh, how I misjudged.
I am, of course, NOT defending my actions, but this was my point of view at the time of my decision.

This was a stupid joke, you do owe your parents a heart-felt apology, but try not to get too tied into knots over this. One of the signs of maturity is to, as the Serenity Prayer says, “accept the things I cannot change, have the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Act according to that. Do what you can do to make amends, but do not feel a need to beat yourself to a pulp for your mistake. It doesn’t change anything, at least not for the better. It won’t be the last mistake you make, no matter how mature you get to be. Your parents were scared to death, but you did not harm an actual young woman or father an actual child.

IOW, you could be doing far worse and you are hardly the only one your age with some growing up to do. Even if you had been telling the truth, the choices you have today are the only ones you have today. You can’t undo what you did yesterday and you can’t control how other people process their own thoughts, hopes, desires, and emotions. Get used to a lifetime of that. Put this in your spiritual canteen, and draw on it when someone needs compassion for making a really regretable choice with truly far-reaching consequences.

Oh, and send the apology via ground mail, and let it sit a day before you seal it up and send it to your parents. Important stuff needs a stamp and deserves careful consideration before being fired off.

 

[L_piperatus]

Chris,

you will need to eat now lots of crow, lots of humble pie, and apologize a lot.

That being said…

…your joke was truly outrageously funny!

Take it easy, man. Apologize as much as necessary and even beyond that, but don’t beat yourself up. I hope you will find in due time a nice girl who will understand and appreciate your crazy sense of humor!

 

[Trishie]

if my parents know me so well, and they do: they know my morals, they know I’m serious when it comes to God’s law and when it comes to grave issues, (such as children out of wedlock), I would NEVER EVER commit such a heinous act. .

Chris, I understand. You underestimated the shock value to parents. The immediate reaction to such news is shock, and shock isn’t a thought-out thing, it has nothing to do with whether they know you. It was a bomb going off for them. You’re not a parent. When you have older children of your own you’ll understand most poignantly. You did it too well, you included photographic proof. For your parents this has been traumatic. Logic doesn’t necessarily come into that.

You are suffering some of the fallout. My concern is that you allow that to overwhelm you. Please look after yourself. Talk everything through with God, share all your hurt and sadness and fears with God. I remember one of the books that was popular for girls when I was young, the Katy books, and recall only one line that I have remembered many times through my life. Katy, at boarding school, was accused of something she’d not done but the shadow hung heavily over her. Her aunt it was, I think, who said to her, “Live it down” Please ‘live it down’ without allowing it to bring you down. The fallout has been a shock for you also, so as a mother I have concern for you now. Trust God that this was part of your learning in which He can begin to teach you what you may have been unable to take in previously. I was initially stunned for your parents’ sake, now I’m also worried about you, so please stay close to God and don’t beat yourself up, please.

I wrote a prayer once. If I knew your parents, as a mother of grown sons I might have sent it to them:

Prayer for Youth
Holy Spirit please bring Your great power and influence into their lives and lead students into the fullness of God’s love and God’s purposes for their lives and for the mental, physical and spiritual needs of themselves and of others…

Jesus, they stand at the crossroads, our youth. Many no longer trustfully accept the values or directions of their seniors, unless it proves convenient or appears to have integrity enough to override convenience. Many no longer trustfully accept the values or directions of their seniors unless these have integrity enough to override worldly values.

Grant us grace to live and love in cheerful and sincere witness of Your gospel, striving for goodness, justice, and unselfish caring in the way that we deal with them. Thus, they may perceive the value and validity of Christian (Catholic) commitment. Let them recognise, however, that they can no more expect us to be perfect and faultless than we should expect perfection of them.

By not demanding more than they can reasonably offer, let them see that while none of us is perfect, each ought to try for one’s best according to nature and ability. Grant us wisdom and love to permit them their freedom to follow their own directions, which are as valid to them as ours are to ourselves.

Give us grace to understand and to forgive their mistakes, knowing that we ourselves frequently err. Grant them to discover You through our understanding and forgiveness, and lead them to find healing and growth in Scripture and in Your Sacraments. Let us witness to them, without trying to break them to our mature wisdom, lest we, by our inflexibility or judgement, cause anyone to lose himself/herself and You for a time or forever.

The pain in our hearts they may not understand until in their own young they confront these moments of anxiety, conflict and uncertainty.

Heal our hearts and minds with hope. Give us trust in Your hidden leading and protection of them, so that we respond to them gently, steadily, wisely, and with peace. Help us to preserve their balance and identity, to foster their reverence for and nurture of Your unique image within themselves and in others for the way that we love and respect them.

Grant Your light to illuminate their paths, so that they may see to clear away errors and barriers that dim the wonderful unique celebration of Your living image within them.
Dear Jesus, we confess our frailty, our sinfulness, our meager witness, and appeal humbly to You. We cannot contend alone with such sensitive and crucial responsibility regarding our young ones, and our anxieties may sometimes threaten to swamp our faith or judgement. Please help us to be wise, trusting and mature.

Our failures and mistakes regarding them appear to remain as crosses in their lives and in our hearts. Please do not allow our sadness to become self-recrimination, nor impatience towards them. Let it simply be confident prayer that You will take them to your heart, and fill them with Your Spirit to heal them and lead them patiently into the way of Your living gospel. If this path is long and arduous, please grant us the powerful faith of a Monica.

Whatever paths they wander by, our children — through us, their elders put Your hand gently on their shoulders, steady and warm. Look into their eyes with deep caring and friendship. Let them see their preciousness, their rich possibilities, and their kinship in You.

Let them know that they can share their laughter as well as their sorrows. Eat bread with them, listen and respond. Teach by example that is cheerful, faithful, gentle, and strong. Walk with us beside them supportively without intrusion—letting go, as their need requires but always prayerfully near in the quiet presence of Your Spirit.

Thank You, dear Jesus who loves our young ones more than we fathom. You are our hope for them.

 

[Mummsie]

Hey Chris,

I’m the Mother of 3 grown children, 3 grandsons. Your prank sounds like something my second oldest daughter would do. We know her well enough to “appreciate” her sometimes twisted sense of humor. But, I could see myself reacting the same as your Mom. Only Jesus knows you better than your parents. WWJD? How do you think he felt when he saw you hit that “send” button?

The only reason for hanging on to past mistakes is to learn how to correct your future behavior/thought processes. My son tends to be impulsive. I asked him to slow down and think it through before he dives in with both feet. That seems to have helped quite a bit.

A sincere apology acknowledging your problem with judgement/appropriate behavior will help. Also tell them how you plan on working on it. Prayer? Counseling? A Book? Do they have any other ideas?

Forgive yourself, God already has. And so will your parents.

Praying for you and your family. God Bless You.

p.s. Don’t lose your sense of humor; it can get you through some rough times.

 

[Et_Cetera]

Chris,

Please don’t be too hard on yourself. The fact that you feel so guilty and that you want to make your parents proud already shows that you have much more maturity than the average college freshman. Also, you sound like you have a good heart and strong morals. I can understand if it initially upset your parents for a little bit, but for them to draw out the issue for so long and to repeatedly tell you that they are disappointed makes me think that they might be overreacting. A simple, and in my opinion kind of funny, prank like this should not make your mother cry for an hour. It seems like you’re taking way too much blame and experiencing too much guilt. It would be different if you had done this with the intention of upsetting them, but you said that you thought they would laugh for a minute and then go about the day. I wonder if your parents realize the kinds of shenanigans that most college kids are getting up to? It sounds like you’re way ahead of the curve. However, these are still your parents that we’re talking about, and I’m sure they love you deeply. My best advice, and others have stated this as well, is to give a sincere apology. Then, look in the mirror, tell yourself that you are a good person, and hit the library with some of your new friends.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

After typing my last message, I got a call from my father explaining how angry he was at me and how he still extremely disappointed, sad, and worried for me. It seems as thought nothing has changed (or if anything tensions have gotten worse) over these past few days.
I will send my letter tomorrow in the mail to them and that will hopefully begin our reparation.
The only qualm I have is this (and this is the basis of my original intention for the joke): if my parents know me so well, and they do: they know my morals, they know I’m serious when it comes to God’s law and when it comes to grave issues, (such as children out of wedlock), I would NEVER EVER commit such a heinous act. With that in mind, and with my parents knowing this about me, I sent them this as a joke, hoping they would immediately realize “Oh, wait, we know how he actually is and that he would never do this, nice try Christopher” or something to that effect. That was my original intention: for them to get a scare, then a quick chuckle.
Oh, how I misjudged.
I am, of course, NOT defending my actions, but this was my point of view at the time of my decision.

Well Chris, all I can say is that people fall to temptation EVERY DAY, and your parents only know that you are away from home and there are many temptations. People do stuff like this every day, even people who “know better,” are morally strong, etc. In fact, I believe the Devil works those people over the hardest.

In any case, adults have seen it over and over - someone they thought was immune to temptation, will fail. Sometimes people go out and simply ruin their earthly lives, because of some hidden weakness. You think your parents should have known you, and they do, but they also know THE WORLD AROUND YOU, and how easily others have fallen.

Chris, I never thought my younger son would rebel the way he did. I thought I knew him too, and I did, but he went through a phase where he just rejected everything he had grown up with. I never expected him to do that, but once he was on that path, he is stubborn and continued until he got his heart broken and could have ended up with a real situation like your joke.

Maybe if you had sent your parents the Barnum and Bailey website and told them you were going to quit college to go be a clown, that would have been funny. Joking about getting someone pregnant is NOT funny, and if you say your parents should have known it was a joke, well, from a mother’s perspective, YOU should have known that is NOT a joke at any time. You could have picked some other false situation, not that one. Would you tell your parents you are gay as a joke?

 

[The_Bucket]

Would you tell your parents you are gay as a joke?

I would.

But then again I’m married and have two kids so it would be a tougher ruse to pull off.

This whole thread is a joke if you ask me. The guy is a college kid and tried a prank. Were his parents justified in thinking it was not funny at all and getting upset? Sure. Should they let their anger and “disappointment” go on for days? No. At this point, if the whole thread isn’t a troll, I think the parents are being just as immature as the OP. It was a bad joke and upset you. Ok.

The timeframe to get over it is the next day since no one was genuinely hurt or insulted here. Not letting it go on is a sign of immaturity in his parents.

Would I find it amusing if my son pulled the same thing a decade from now? No. But our family sometimes takes April Fool’s Day quite seriously so if I got an email from him on 4/1 with an ultrasound I’d probably immediately assume it was a prank. I’d also be over it in a few minutes.

 

[twoangels]

After typing my last message, I got a call from my father explaining how angry he was at me and how he still extremely disappointed, sad, and worried for me. It seems as thought nothing has changed (or if anything tensions have gotten worse) over these past few days.
I will send my letter tomorrow in the mail to them and that will hopefully begin our reparation.
The only qualm I have is this (and this is the basis of my original intention for the joke): if my parents know me so well, and they do: they know my morals, they know I’m serious when it comes to God’s law and when it comes to grave issues, (such as children out of wedlock), I would NEVER EVER commit such a heinous act. With that in mind, and with my parents knowing this about me, I sent them this as a joke, hoping they would immediately realize “Oh, wait, we know how he actually is and that he would never do this, nice try Christopher” or something to that effect. That was my original intention: for them to get a scare, then a quick chuckle.
Oh, how I misjudged.
I am, of course, NOT defending my actions, but this was my point of view at the time of my decision.

It is completely understandable to be hurt when you realize how little your loved ones know you. But try to take comfort that your misjudgment likely deals in how little you know your parents’ as well. Another thing that could have taken them out of the blue is if such April fools jokes are out of your character. If doing these sorts of pranks is out of your character, than any knowledge they have of your character goes out the window.

It does sound to me like you have already apologized to your parents and that they are harping on you inappropriately. I would try writing a card or even sending flowers with an apology. However considering your parents’ reaction, if they continue to harrass you with repetitive phone calls only to criticize you, I would pray about finding a polite and charitable way to get a bit a way from their wrath. Unforunately some people, when they are hurt, do not so much want an apology as they want to get revenge. Sometimes we can rationalize chewing people out because we can deceive ourselves into believing that we’re just asking for an apology and not seeking revenge.

What you did was a very MINOR misjudgement of your parents’ reaction. People misjudge people all the time. We all make mistakes. It doesn’t mean you’re a terrible or incompetent person. It doesn’t mean you need to seek help in developing empathy as some previous poster offensively suggested. You’re simple human and we’re all bound to step on each other’s toes.

 

[28562]

Don’t be so hard on yourself. In my VERY honest opinion, your parents are **WAY **over reacting.

Unless they are *acting *this mad because they want the last laugh…then the April Fools is on you…

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Chris, I am going to borrow your thread for a minute, because I am puzzled about people’s responses to your OP.

To those of you who responded that you think Chris’ little prank was funny:

If Chris were married and his wife were pregnant with the first grandchild of both families, and he decided to play a prank on his parents and tell them that his wife had miscarried, do you think THAT would be funny too?

If Chris told his parents that his wife had decided to abort the baby, even if it was a prank, would THAT be funny?

I am frankly stunned at those of you who do not seem to understand the degree of MAGNITUDE of this “joke.” I guess maybe Chris is not alone in his immaturity. Can you not imagine your own reaction if one of your children did the same thing? The degree of seriousness of this prank…

What if he had gotten a friend to call his parents and tell them there had been an accident and their son was seriously hurt or dead? Would THAT have been funny?

 

[EasterJoy]

I would.

But then again I’m married and have two kids so it would be a tougher ruse to pull off.

This whole thread is a joke if you ask me. The guy is a college kid and tried a prank. Were his parents justified in thinking it was not funny at all and getting upset? Sure. Should they let their anger and “disappointment” go on for days? No. At this point, if the whole thread isn’t a troll, I think the parents are being just as immature as the OP. It was a bad joke and upset you. Ok.

The timeframe to get over it is the next day since no one was genuinely hurt or insulted here. Not letting it go on is a sign of immaturity in his parents.

Would I find it amusing if my son pulled the same thing a decade from now? No. But our family sometimes takes April Fool’s Day quite seriously so if I got an email from him on 4/1 with an ultrasound I’d probably immediately assume it was a prank. I’d also be over it in a few minutes.

The reason this example rings true with me is that I heard about a high school senior who faked acceptance letters from the military, and put them in with his parents’ mailbox, as if they had arrived on April Fool’s Day. He read the letter, then gave it to his mom. he told her he had been waiting to find out before he told her he had applied.

Apparently, his poor mother just about had a fit at the thought that he’d joined the military without talking it over with her first, when all he had ever talked about was selecting a college. She was afraid for his life, besides…what a shock to suddenly know her son would be in harm’s way!! When she found out it was a joke, she was not at all amused. Her son couldn’t believe she’d actually fallen for it, and then couldn’t understand why she was upset at him for having pulled the joke in the first place. Does this sound familiar?

Some people do not take jokes at their expense well at all, and others cannot tolerate any joking at all when the topic is very serious. There are parents upon whom such a joke could be sprung; the OP just grossly misjudged that his parents might be among them. I think that in retrospect, this is what is really eating at him. How could I have thought they’d think this was funny? Well, you did. It is unlikely to be the last comedic miscalculation of your life. Live and learn.

Don’t make that mistake again, OP. Think about what topics just aren’t joked about with your parents, and give that particular pitfall a very wide berth!

As for their disappointment, take to heart that you need to mature, but don’t take it too personally or take their disappointment to heart. This joke was ill-conceived, but it was hardly evidence that you are far less mature than other young men your age. Since you think it ought to have been obvious that you’d never do such a thing, perhaps you are far more mature than the average college freshman, truth be told. That your parents have higher standards is why you are actually farther ahead than many.

 

[Moore11]

Chris, I am going to borrow your thread for a minute, because I am puzzled about people’s responses to your OP.

To those of you who responded that you think Chris’ little prank was funny:

If Chris were married and his wife were pregnant with the first grandchild of both families, and he decided to play a prank on his parents and tell them that his wife had miscarried, do you think THAT would be funny too?

If Chris told his parents that his wife had decided to abort the baby, even if it was a prank, would THAT be funny?

I am frankly stunned at those of you who do not seem to understand the degree of MAGNITUDE of this “joke.” I guess maybe Chris is not alone in his immaturity. Can you not imagine your own reaction if one of your children did the same thing? The degree of seriousness of this prank…

What if he had gotten a friend to call his parents and tell them there had been an accident and their son was seriously hurt or dead? Would THAT have been funny?

Of course those would not be funny. And in reality the prank isnt that funny but the situation is and I know we aren’t supposed to laugh at others misfortune but Chris’s prank was meant to be funny so I guess in a dark way it succeeded. Chris is getting a taste of how a prank like this can backfire but there are some other interesting observations here. Chris implies that he and his parents are close. He also states that he is immature. So given these two factors why did his parents overreact in such a way. I think Chris is a little hurt by the fact that his parents took it so seriously. Also, why did the parents freak out so bad about this news, this kind of reaction is what drives some young people to get abortions. Also, the length of time his parents have been upset, Chris apologizes, makes sincere amends and moves on. The parents could use a little Christian Charity here. In my family and those I know a pregnancy joke is common. Like I stated, most every april fools day I tell my mom the news and she makes some rude comment about how we should use birth control and she doesnt understand why anyone would want a big family. (I was on purpose and my sister was a BC oops.) And everyone goes home unhappy. (now that I think of it it really is dumb and I dont know why I do it) But my friend and I always say it to each other and we like it. However, Chris went a couple steps too far. 1 He isnt married, and 2 the ultrasound shows some pretty intricate planning. It was too much but put yourself in Chris’s shoes and say a friend (who is expecting) sends out a pic to everyone including Chris of an ultrasound. It is a small step and many a person would consider sending it to someone as a joke especial if one was Chris’s age. It turn out that he just sent it to someone who he should never prank like that. His parents. some parents would have been ok with it, some not. It sounds to me like neither Chris nor his parents have a very good handle on who the other person is.

You are 100 percent correct. It isn’t funny and it was an awful thing to do. But it isn’t like the things you mentioned.
Bottom line, you are right, Chris was wrong. And although it may not be your sense of humor (or his parents) can you really not see how it could be funny to someone somewhere?

 

[Moore11]

The reason this example rings true with me is that I heard about a high school senior who faked acceptance letters from the military, and put them in with his parents’ mailbox, as if they had arrived on April Fool’s Day. He read the letter, then gave it to his mom. he told her he had been waiting to find out before he told her he had applied.

Apparently, his poor mother just about had a fit at the thought that he’d joined the military without talking it over with her first, when all he had ever talked about was selecting a college. She was afraid for his life, besides…what a shock to suddenly know her son would be in harm’s way!! When she found out it was a joke, she was not at all amused. Her son couldn’t believe she’d actually fallen for it, and then couldn’t understand why she was upset at him for having pulled the joke in the first place. Does this sound familiar?

Some people do not take jokes at their expense well at all, and others cannot tolerate any joking at all when the topic is very serious. There are parents upon whom such a joke could be sprung; the OP just grossly misjudged that his parents might be among them. I think that in retrospect, this is what is really eating at him. How could I have thought they’d think this was funny? Well, you did. It is unlikely to be the last comedic miscalculation of your life. Live and learn.

Don’t make that mistake again, OP. Think about what topics just aren’t joked about with your parents, and give that particular pitfall a very wide berth!

As for their disappointment, take to heart that you need to mature, but don’t take it too personally or take their disappointment to heart. This joke was ill-conceived, but it was hardly evidence that you are far less mature than other young men your age. Since you think it ought to have been obvious that you’d never do such a thing, perhaps you are far more mature than the average college freshman, truth be told. That your parents have higher standards is why you are actually farther ahead than many.

This sums it up nicely. I think this was the best post on it so far.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Of course those would not be funny. And in reality the prank isnt that funny but the situation is and I know we aren’t supposed to laugh at others misfortune but Chris’s prank was meant to be funny so I guess in a dark way it succeeded. Chris is getting a taste of how a prank like this can backfire but there are some other interesting observations here. Chris implies that he and his parents are close. He also states that he is immature. So given these two factors why did his parents overreact in such a way. I think Chris is a little hurt by the fact that his parents took it so seriously. Also, why did the parents freak out so bad about this news, this kind of reaction is what drives some young people to get abortions. Also, the length of time his parents have been upset, Chris apologizes, makes sincere amends and moves on. The parents could use a little Christian Charity here. In my family and those I know a pregnancy joke is common. Like I stated, most every april fools day I tell my mom the news and she makes some rude comment about how we should use birth control and she doesnt understand why anyone would want a big family. (I was on purpose and my sister was a BC oops.) And everyone goes home unhappy. (now that I think of it it really is dumb and I dont know why I do it) But my friend and I always say it to each other and we like it. However, Chris went a couple steps too far. 1 He isnt married, and 2 the ultrasound shows some pretty intricate planning. It was too much but put yourself in Chris’s shoes and say a friend (who is expecting) sends out a pic to everyone including Chris of an ultrasound. It is a small step and many a person would consider sending it to someone as a joke especial if one was Chris’s age. It turn out that he just sent it to someone who he should never prank like that. His parents. some parents would have been ok with it, some not. It sounds to me like neither Chris nor his parents have a very good handle on who the other person is.

You are 100 percent correct. It isn’t funny and it was an awful thing to do. But it isn’t like the things you mentioned.
Bottom line, you are right, Chris was wrong. And although it may not be your sense of humor (or his parents) can you really not see how it could be funny to someone somewhere?

But YOU ARE MARRIED, and are not at the start of your young adult life! Therefore, the joke is not the same, and you are not trying to shock your mom, but rather, poke fun of her attitude that you already have enough children. In your case, your mom has a good idea that you and your wife may not be expecting.

Chris’ stunt came out of the blue, at a time in life when that sort of thing CAN HAPPEN to college students, and change the trajectory of their lives PERMANENTLY. This involves bringing a NEW LIFE INTO BEING. It is not just that HIS life will change, there are at least 2 other people involved: the expectant mother, and the baby!

I am not trying to keep Chris upset. He knows it was a bad choice. I just cannot fathom how people can imagine themselves in his parents’ place and not feel a similar amount of distress. No, I cannot see how it could be funny to anyone, anywhere.

 

[Moore11]

But YOU ARE MARRIED, and are not at the start of your young adult life! Therefore, the joke is not the same, and you are not trying to shock your mom, but rather, poke fun of her attitude that you already have enough children. In your case, your mom has a good idea that you and your wife may not be expecting.

Chris’ stunt came out of the blue, at a time in life when that sort of thing CAN HAPPEN to college students, and change the trajectory of their lives PERMANENTLY. This involves bringing a NEW LIFE INTO BEING. It is not just that HIS life will change, there are at least 2 other people involved: the expectant mother, and the baby!

I am not trying to keep Chris upset. He knows it was a bad choice. I just cannot fathom how people can imagine themselves in his parents’ place and not feel a similar amount of distress. No, I cannot see how it could be funny to anyone, anywhere.

I completely agree and I pointed out that fact. I can absolutely see where his parents would be devastated. However there are some families where that would be known as a joke or even considered funny. You, I and Chris do not live in one of those families. But it is conceivable that someone somewhere might. Like Chris’s future family. I wonder if Chris will find his jokester child funnier than his parents do. A classic case of “wait until you have kids of your own, I hope they do to you what you did to us!” in Chris’s case God will probably do to him what he did to me and give him all girls. Which would make this joke even less funny.

My children are still young so I have no idea how I would react in this situation but my 6 year old definitely has my sense of humor and is already a prankster. My 5 year old HATES when anyone gets a joke played on them. So in the future, on April 1st if I got a ultrasound pic from my oldest, I would immediately know it was a joke. ITS APRIL 1st!!! for petes sake! but from my middle child, uh uh no way would she joke about that. (assuming their personalities remain the same.) But you get the point. I have tapped down the sprayer on the sink, hidden my wife’s car at her work and once in college I told my parents I needed bail money (that was before caller ID: They sent it!) My wife has put cool aide in the showerhead and changed the prescription in a pair of glasses of mine. In our family it is funny.

It aint so bad Chris. when I was in College I postmarked all my letters to friends and family Ted Kazinski (the unibomber) Which brought at visit from the post office and FBI, so it could have been worse!

 

[L_piperatus]

when I was in College I postmarked all my letters to friends and family Ted Kazinski

Man, you are a prankster, but just you wait until your 6-y.o. grows up… PAYBACK TIME!!!

 

[Moore11]

Man, you are a prankster, but just you wait until your 6-y.o. grows up… PAYBACK TIME!!!

Yeah, that was before 911. Now, that sort of thing would land you in jail, big time. We should start a practical joke thread. Ive pulled some good ones and had some good ones pulled on me. My senior year in high school some of my teammates filled my entire car with those little tiny plastic balls that they use for fake snow. I’m 37 now and 8 cars removed from that joke and I’ll be danged if sometimes I still find one of those little buggers. And every time I do it brings a little smile to my face.

It is worth it to point out that the original poster’s joke was cruel. I would never send my wife divorce papers or the like. He needs to learn who his audience is and how far is too far. I made many mistakes and hurt some people I never should have learning those lessons.