M
mark99
Guest
There have been a few posts on this forum recently from people having issues with their spouse or other family members. I therefore wanted to post some information on an invaluable website that will give you information on dealing with this.
The most important thing you will learn is that if you have a spouse, family member, friend or work colleague who does the following towards you-
psychological abuse
controlling
patronising
humiliation
ridicule
excessive supervision
manipulative
starts gossip
offensive comments and put downs
intrusions regarding your personal life
and does this towards you on a persistant ongoing basis over months or even years then you need to first and formost recognise that that person is almost certain to have a serious personality disorder. However to bystanders they will often appear quite normal and wear the mask of sanity. Also the above list is not an exhaustive list but a sample.
Additionally one statistic that you should bear in mind is that about 1 in every 30 people have a personality disorder.
It is a remarakable statistic but one that will serve you well when looking out for these people.
There are different types of personality disorder such as for example narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder. The people who suffer from these disorders lead fairly normal lives with jobs and families etc but you will recognise them from the behavior patterns outlined above. This behaviour is often just called bullying or harassment but can have dreadful consequences upon the victims, including many suicides. Often bystanders will not be able to pick on on or see what is happening due to the very subtle and psychological nature of the bullying.
Additionally you may find yourself being mobbed. Mobbing is when the individual with the personality disorder will incite and manipulate others into adversarial behaviour with you and to essentially join with them on the attacks on you. For example if you find yourself with a family member who is a serial bully they will incite other family members and relatives against you.
One of the best examples of mobbing being incited by an individual was Hitler, a well known narcissist, inciting the German people against the Jews.
Here is the first page of the site I suggest you start with-
www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm
The site is oriented towards workplace bullying but it is applicable to families and any other circumstances.
The most important thing you will learn is that if you have a spouse, family member, friend or work colleague who does the following towards you-
psychological abuse
controlling
patronising
humiliation
ridicule
excessive supervision
manipulative
starts gossip
offensive comments and put downs
intrusions regarding your personal life
and does this towards you on a persistant ongoing basis over months or even years then you need to first and formost recognise that that person is almost certain to have a serious personality disorder. However to bystanders they will often appear quite normal and wear the mask of sanity. Also the above list is not an exhaustive list but a sample.
Additionally one statistic that you should bear in mind is that about 1 in every 30 people have a personality disorder.
It is a remarakable statistic but one that will serve you well when looking out for these people.
There are different types of personality disorder such as for example narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder. The people who suffer from these disorders lead fairly normal lives with jobs and families etc but you will recognise them from the behavior patterns outlined above. This behaviour is often just called bullying or harassment but can have dreadful consequences upon the victims, including many suicides. Often bystanders will not be able to pick on on or see what is happening due to the very subtle and psychological nature of the bullying.
Additionally you may find yourself being mobbed. Mobbing is when the individual with the personality disorder will incite and manipulate others into adversarial behaviour with you and to essentially join with them on the attacks on you. For example if you find yourself with a family member who is a serial bully they will incite other family members and relatives against you.
One of the best examples of mobbing being incited by an individual was Hitler, a well known narcissist, inciting the German people against the Jews.
Here is the first page of the site I suggest you start with-
www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm
The site is oriented towards workplace bullying but it is applicable to families and any other circumstances.