Dealing With Family Religious Divisions

[BrockH]

Here is a bit of background info on me: I was Lutheran/Methodist before my parents divorced in 2011 and everything was fine. The Catholic Church wasn’t really mentioned very much, except for the occasion of when my mother would talk about how she never understood the faith and got nothing out of the Mass (she was raised strictly Catholic and isn’t really practicing anything at the moment). My aunt and I began attending Mass at the local church and I later converted (everyone in my mom’s family is Catholic or lapsed Catholic). They were so happy for me! But…my father’s side…not as much. My great-grandmother is a strict Southern Baptist and she was furious upon finding out that I am now Catholic. The last time that she was here (last summer soon after my confirmation) and came over for breakfast at my father’s house, my brother and I didn’t tell her where we were going. We had never dealt with such a situation. I now am able to express myself and my faith. I want to contact her (she lives in Alabama) and speak to her about why I am now Catholic and just how well things are going. Should I send a letter? Should I make a phone call? After that day, I never saw her again. She is turning 96 this year. Should I try expressing my faith to her and correcting her misunderstanding or should I just let it go and never contact her again? She has made no effort to contact me, not even for Christmas.

 

[KCT]

How did you communicate before your conversion? However it was, reach out and tell her you love her. You don’t have to get into religious convictions.

 

[Auntie_A]

Find common ground, common interests. You both love Jesus, don’t you?

 

[retire_early]

Don’t walk, run! To great-grandma and connect with her before she is gone. 96…my goodness! That’s no age to get into feuding and fussing, especially with kin. Need to go to “Granny” and get some hugging done. :hug3: Talk about how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking, stories of her life…anything and everything. If Granny wants to pound on you for being Catholic, let her for a little bit…just listen, let her let off some steam, then sooth her and change the subject…crocheting, canning, travel, fashion…whatever. Don’t upset her and don’t wrangle about religion. Just show some love. I doubt if she will keep up the religion topic very long if you drop it or don’t respond to it.

For whatever time left on earth she has, your conversation with her should probably not be about religion…or if it is, just general basic Jesus stuff.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

… I want to contact her (she lives in Alabama) and speak to her about why I am now Catholic and just how well things are going. Should I send a letter? Should I make a phone call? After that day, I never saw her again. She is turning 96 this year. Should I try expressing my faith to her and correcting her misunderstanding or should I just let it go and never contact her again? She has made no effort to contact me, not even for Christmas…

I wouldn’t bother about trying to convince her about your reasons for converting. She’s 96 - she’s not going to change her mind, and you’re not going to let her change your mind, are you?

If I were you, I’d just visit and leave it at that. If she wants to raise the issue, then give her your reasons, but I wouldn’t make a point of going there to talk about religious differences. It won’t change anything.

 

[Bob_Crowley]

… I want to contact her (she lives in Alabama) and speak to her about why I am now Catholic and just how well things are going. Should I send a letter? Should I make a phone call? After that day, I never saw her again. She is turning 96 this year. Should I try expressing my faith to her and correcting her misunderstanding or should I just let it go and never contact her again? She has made no effort to contact me, not even for Christmas…

I wouldn’t bother about trying to convince her about your reasons for converting. She’s 96 - she’s not going to change her mind, and you’re not going to let her change your mind, are you?

If I were you, I’d just visit and leave it at that. If she wants to raise the issue, then give her your reasons, but I wouldn’t make a point of going there to talk about religious differences. It won’t change anything.

I’ve got a mother in law who is similar to your grandmother - similar age, strong practising Baptist, although raised Methodist I believe. Of all my relatives, she was the one who had the strongest misgivings about my decision to go Catholic. Most of the others couldn’t have cared less, apart from my Baptist wife, and maybe Baptist in-laws.

We used to argue a bit in the beginning, but neither of us changed our mind, and now we just agree to disagree.

 

[fastenatingguy]

Find common ground, common interests. You both love Jesus, don’t you?

THIS

 

[Allegra]

If having a discussion about religion is a requirement for any chance at restoring your relationship with your grandma, then I guess you can give it your best shot. However, my strategy would probably be to contact/visit her and discuss anything BUT religion.

 

[DakiniArtist]

Don’t walk, run! To great-grandma and connect with her before she is gone. 96…my goodness! That’s no age to get into feuding and fussing, especially with kin. Need to go to “Granny” and get some hugging done. :hug3: Talk about how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking, stories of her life…anything and everything. If Granny wants to pound on you for being Catholic, let her for a little bit…just listen, let her let off some steam, then sooth her and change the subject…crocheting, canning, travel, fashion…whatever. Don’t upset her and don’t wrangle about religion. Just show some love. I doubt if she will keep up the religion topic very long if you drop it or don’t respond to it.

For whatever time left on earth she has, your conversation with her should probably not be about religion…or if it is, just general basic Jesus stuff.

THIS!!!