Dealing with Homesickness

  • Thread starter Thread starter alice24
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

alice24

Guest
Now my husband and me moved in a town in former eastern germany 7 hours via train away. Wonderful flat, jobs to finance the flat. But:
  • the majority is close to neo-nazism. I walk defensively, we don’t leave the house often.
  • we didn’t found jobs in our profession, and won’t for the future. So we work in the lowest health Care/ trade industry. No chance to meet people with similar backgrounds of educating or interests.
  • alcololism and drug abuse are horribly high even in teenage groups.
  • the majority of people with higher or at least any education left after 1989. Those who stayed are secular to death, hopeless and not what I want to give my children as social environment in the future.
    -visiting friends or nearer cities with better conditions is very limited because train is expensive
    We deal with it because/ with:
  • we couldn’t even think of financing a family in our home town
  • I got close with a wonderful parish in the bigger region
    -we try to seek clubs or visiting cultural events outside for meeting new people
Much complaining on a high Niveau, I know. But I would be seriosly interested in your living experience in how to deal with sadness and being isolated. Thanks.
 
Find your “tribe”. People like you. They may not be in great numbers, but they exist, I promise you. Moving is hard. This may sound trite…but it takes time…I’ve moved 4 times in the past decade or so and even when my move was hardly 10 miles in a rural area things changed.

As far as work… I know Europe is a bit different, but in the US most people do not work in their chosen field but a related one…a career counselor could point you in the right direction. Maybe not your desired job but one much closer.
 
Last edited:
alice24 said:
alcololism and drug abuse are horribly high even in teenage groups
Click to expand...
That would concern me if thinking about raising a family there which you clearly are.

I’m guessing safe areas with jobs in your fields and people like you are going to be too expensive to finance a family though.
alice24 said:
I would be seriosly interested in your living experience in how to deal with sadness and being isolated
Click to expand...
I’m more on the introverted side of things and if it comes to it am happy with a book/internet access/dvd. You have already done the only thing I would suggest which is join anything you may be interested in. You say you are close to a wonderful parish. Does that have groups you could get involved with (assuming you have not already tried).
 
Elf01 said:
I’m guessing safe areas with jobs in your fields and people like you are going to be too expensive to finance a family though
Click to expand...
Yes. Even one city away (with a better social environment) rents are 50% higher.
 
I could give up many things, but not the security of living in a safe neighborhood. I would be researching for my next move, and next job. What is the point of living there if you won’t be happy?
 
We had several job- information events on changing our fields or extending it. My husband tried to get a place for a second (new) education, but was rejected because too old or his 10th grade school math Mark was not good enough (No matter he did all the stuff they would normally educate a 16yo, no matter his high school marks are three furhter degrees away and hes overly qualified…)
I will pay for a second degree as teacher for adults via home studying until my university time is oficially Off, maybe it turns at least my chances to the better.

What scares me is that we may not be able to get Jobs where we can save enough for a future better living town. This is a future problem I try to not focus too much on and do my best every day, it’s just a worry.
My parish is sadly very old. One young woman I like ist going to migrate to greece next year, I hope there will be more younger people in the future.
 
We have no other choice at the moment. We are searching jobs on a regular basis and we still need to spent some years Here. We agreed to find under all circumstances a solution if we have children in school age. Until then, we have to deal with it.
It doesn’t help me when I see this as unbearable, I think it’s bad, but thank god I am not a refugee or without a flat at all.
 
Cruciferi said:
the majority is close to neo-nazism. I walk defensively, we don’t leave the house often.

Very troubling.
Click to expand...
Yes. I am surprised and alarmed as I didn’t ever thought this would be a reality in 2018.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Find your “tribe”. People like you. They may not be in great numbers, but they exist, I promise you. Moving is hard. This may sound trite…but it takes time…I’ve moved 4 times in the past decade or so and even when my move was hardly 10 miles in a rural area things changed.
Click to expand...
As basic as this advice may sound, you still helped me with it, thank you. I was in a horribly mood yesterday.
 
Start a prayer thread for new jobs in the prayer intentions sub forum, Alice. The power of prayer can make things happen! 🙂 I will pray for you at mass tonight!
 
guanophore said:
It sounds like a region ripe for evangelization.
Click to expand...
My husband and me were kidding and called it a developping country, in a mental way :roll_eyes: people have everything there, space, (social) infrastructure, beautiful nature and work (instead of our professions, it´s not a totaly bad job market there in some sectors) and they still complain that much. They feel a run of “scary foreigners” and have three percent foreigners 😂
 
Irishmom2 said:
Start a prayer thread for new jobs in the prayer intentions sub forum, Alice. The power of prayer can make things happen! 🙂 I will pray for you at mass tonight!
Click to expand...
Thank you very much for your prayer ❤️
Thank you, I didn´t do it in the past as I don´t feel its the most important thing at the moment. Not that we are not in worry or sad, but I had/have some health reasons and other serious family issues that I feel sometimes a bit shy to ask god for anything as I am really, really thankful for what I got in all the mess 🙏
 
Last edited:
No easy answer, it seems. It’s good, I think, to remember often the many blessings that you do have. I’m sure you can make a list of them. I think I would be really happy to have a good spouse, but I have never been married, for example.

Try to live strongly with trust in God’s providence for you, and do not worry. Do you and your husband have fun things to do in free time like hiking, for example, or bike riding?

Keep applying for alternate jobs and keep praying in general, a lot, and for your specific needs.

God will take care of things. “Be not anxious about your life.” -Jesus’s words.
 
This is very much on the side I stand here spritually, thank you. I notice once more that “do not fear” is not only a well intended counsel, but a rule, a commandment to follow. That living too much in the past or in the future is a fault. I try to give this to god and do the best with preparing for jobs, keep searching flats and making new friends without drowning in sadness.
My husband and me have hobbies together as historical reenatment and fun with hiking for example. I booked a weekend in the near area for visiting a handicraft market and coming out of our house for a minimum amount of money and he was really happy. Fortunately, he´s very open for new people and things to try and sees this as a challenge. We were never angry or sad together or against each other because of the situation, and I am grateful for this.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top