Dealing With My Dad

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Afterman

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I want to make some things clear before I continue. My username alludes to a song by a band I like, not my actual gender. I’m a woman. I’m a woman living with her parents at the age of 22. I’m a woman who is recovering from a pornography addiction. I have not sought out pornography on the internet in two months.

However, I am sick of my dad’s taste for pornography. I find it on OUR computer, the family computer everyone uses. He is a hypocrite, always talking about Catholicism and purity and virtue, but can’t seem to shake something I’m using all my willpower to avoid. I’m an atheist. He talks **** about atheists, nonbelievers, etc. but can’t even get over a mortal sin I’ve managed to be sober of for two months. What is this? Why can’t he just stop? Every time I see pornography on our computer, it triggers my desire to watch it. I suck it up and delete the thing myself, mostly so my mom doesn’t have to see it.

I feel bad for him. He’s clinically depressed. I’ve talked to him about this, but he actually lied to me before I gave him evidence. I know there’s nothing I can do, but can someone explain to me what it is about Catholics that they want to bash other people for sinning or not believing in the Word of God, while simultaneously opposing their own moral code?

I also just wanted a platform to vent. I hope this forum understands this. Possible solutions to this problem ITT are welcome.
 
Afterman said:
what it is about Catholics that they want to bash other people for sinning or not believing in the Word of God, while simultaneously opposing their own moral code?
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Honey, that’s not “Catholics”, that’s just people.
 
Afterman said:
I want to make some things clear before I continue. My username alludes to a song by a band I like, not my actual gender. I’m a woman. I’m a woman living with her parents at the age of 22. I’m a woman who is recovering from a pornography addiction. I have not sought out pornography on the internet in two months.

However, I am sick of my dad’s taste for pornography. I find it on OUR computer, the family computer everyone uses. He is a hypocrite, always talking about Catholicism and purity and virtue, but can’t seem to shake something I’m using all my willpower to avoid. I’m an atheist. He talks **** about atheists, nonbelievers, etc. but can’t even get over a mortal sin I’ve managed to be sober of for two months. What is this? Why can’t he just stop? Every time I see pornography on our computer, it triggers my desire to watch it. I suck it up and delete the thing myself, mostly so my mom doesn’t have to see it.

I feel bad for him. He’s clinically depressed. I’ve talked to him about this, but he actually lied to me before I gave him evidence. I know there’s nothing I can do, but can someone explain to me what it is about Catholics that they want to bash other people for sinning or not believing in the Word of God, while simultaneously opposing their own moral code?

I also just wanted a platform to vent. I hope this forum understands this. Possible solutions to this problem ITT are welcome.
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We fail, we hide our failure from others without accepting that our God sees every bone and sinew of our lives. I would ask that you pray for your dad, but you cannot, so I will pray for him and you for different reasons. Just love him. For you are so like him, just that much stronger, for now. Any catholic would talk to you about the occasion of sin and suggest you agree as a family to destroy internet access for six months. Pornography feeds off our natural sexual needs, but as all of Satan’s deceits never fulfills or satisfies. It just perverts our natural inclination to every increasing delusions of true sexuality founded in love, turning it into the abuse of others and the diminishment of self worth. You are so wise to go cold turkey. You dad would do well to follow your wise example. Does your family really need the internet? Can you not save money by denying access to the temptations?
Don’t judge. It leads to bitterness and loss of filial respect. Just love. Find his virtues; hug them. You say little about your mother. She has a rightful and important role in the repair of your family and might I suggest relationships. Again my prayers because you cannot pray. I pray that you will one day pray and that your dad will once again find the need to pray.
 
There is a good chance that he is addicted himself. In my opinion it is pretty much impossible to use pornography in a “controlled” manner and not be addicted. Once you start, you are hooked.

You said that you yourself are overcoming a pornography addiction. And you say about your dad, “why doesn’t he just stop.” I guess you can already guess the answer to that question. Although if he keeps it on the computer, that is rather weird, if he was truly repentant then he would probably delete it instead of keeping it around.

It’s wrong for you to judge Catholics based on one person. If your dad is truly unrepentant then he’s not a good Catholic (not saying this to judge him, I’m saying it because repentance is essential to being Catholic).

Also, congrats on being sober for two months. But don’t dare think that you are out of the woods yet. I’ve made that mistake before… I went eight or nine months clean once only to fall flat on my face, and back to square one…
 
Afterman said:
He is a hypocrite, always talking about Catholicism and purity and virtue, but can’t seem to shake something I’m using all my willpower to avoid. .
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It’s called denial. Some people with addiction think if they sing a good enough tune, they won’t have to really face themselves
 
Afterman said:
I want to make some things clear before I continue. My username alludes to a song by a band I like, not my actual gender. I’m a woman. I’m a woman living with her parents at the age of 22. I’m a woman who is recovering from a pornography addiction. I have not sought out pornography on the internet in two months.

However, I am sick of my dad’s taste for pornography. I find it on OUR computer, the family computer everyone uses. He is a hypocrite, always talking about Catholicism and purity and virtue, but can’t seem to shake something I’m using all my willpower to avoid. I’m an atheist. He talks **** about atheists, nonbelievers, etc. but can’t even get over a mortal sin I’ve managed to be sober of for two months. What is this? Why can’t he just stop? Every time I see pornography on our computer, it triggers my desire to watch it. I suck it up and delete the thing myself, mostly so my mom doesn’t have to see it.

I feel bad for him. He’s clinically depressed. I’ve talked to him about this, but he actually lied to me before I gave him evidence. I know there’s nothing I can do, but can someone explain to me what it is about Catholics that they want to bash other people for sinning or not believing in the Word of God, while simultaneously opposing their own moral code?

I also just wanted a platform to vent. I hope this forum understands this. Possible solutions to this problem ITT are welcome.
Click to expand...
Good for you, Afterman, for staying away from this awful evil for two months!

It is not Catholics, people are by nature hypocritcal. We have a tendency toward evil, and often we prefer to point out the evil in others rather than ourselves.

Can you ge yourself a laptop or a tablet so you don’t have to use the family computer?

If your dad is Catholic, how did you end up atheist?
 
I get that this post is old but if you still want advice I’m happy to put my bit of consideration in the mix, I think that you should have a very serious talk with your father about this and tell him that his porn on the family computer is hurting you and making it hard for you to continue to stay away from porn.
 
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