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Rau
Guest
That’s what you discovered in 3 meetings with the principal? Oh, and that the principal is incapable of causing a teacher to attend a meeting.
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E_7
Guest
Yes. Especially women. Men do not annoy me that much. It was a personal post. I’m not saying that’s how it is for everyone.
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Eliza10
Guest
Clearly she is concerned - about your private business.
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jeannetherese
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jeannetherese
Guest
Today is Saturday. It’s amazing that any staff would be at school as they would be paid for their additional time. Teachers and staff work on contracts and, while teachers may make themselves available on their “off hours” it is not officially required.
If the school is paying a few other staff members to be available to a parent in their off hours, they are really extending themselves for that parent.
The staff members may be paid, but they are also giving up their family time and probably working outside of their contracts which is laudable and a bit of a cross for them to carry.
O.P. Are you saying that the school set up a formal meeting on the weekend?
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Rau
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Apparently. The 3rd meeting with the principal. Apparently the teacher repeatedly refused to attend. Apparently, the principal has no specific information about what motivates the teacher’s behaviour. Apparently, in 3 meetings, nothing was said of any note beyond “something must be concerning the teacher”.
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jeannetherese
Guest
And all that, in a school which is charging roughly 12 thousand dollars for elementary education and then doubling the fees for a student in need of an EIP.Apparently. The 3rd meeting with the principal. Apparently the teacher repeatedly refused to attend. Apparently, the principal has no specific information about what motivates the teacher’s behaviour. Apparently, in 3 meetings, nothing was said of any note beyond “something must be concerning the teacher”.
This does not make sense. Perhaps the O.P’s accountant in mistaken. Perhaps, the O.P. is mistaken about the difference in fees.
Catholic schools in my area work really hard to take care of students with IEPs and there is no additional charge.
A quick look at tuition fees at VA Catholic schools, suggests that tuition both for Church members and for non-parishioners at the elementary level seems a bit lower (or a lot lower depending on the school) and I’m not finding any sort of financial discrimination for IEPs.
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mommy_k
Guest
Yes. I posted this upthread…the school district where the OP resides pays for any special services. This is how it is set up in my area, and some of my relatives areas as well. You only pay more, about 1,000 per year if you are non Catholic.And all that, in a school which is charging roughly 12 thousand dollars for elementary education and then doubling the fees for a student in need of an EIP.
This does not make sense. Perhaps the O.P’s accountant in mistaken. Perhaps, the O.P. is mistaken about the difference in fees.
Catholic schools in my area work really hard to take care of students with IEPs and there is no additional charge.
A quick look at tuition fees at VA Catholic schools, suggests that tuition both for Church members and for non-parishioners at the elementary level seems a bit lower (or a lot lower depending on the school) and I’m not finding any sort of financial discrimination for IEPs.
Even school busses are provided at elementary level through the school district,.
I surmised from reading this thread it is an academy…k-12 but the tuition still does not fit. I know schools in the NYC area are about 8k for elemntary, at an academy… Then high school tuition goes up. I also wonder if they go to Europe for field trips because the op stated they pay 4000 for field trips
Also schools do not demand fund raising fees.
After all of these inaccuracies, I don’t think the situation posted is accurate either.
As a parent, anytime a teacher says something to my child or children that seems off, I confirm with the teacher directly, and if they don’t answer a phone call, I initiate an email. Its not wise to wait for the teacher…Sometimes a child miss interprets things and I want an accurate account or explaination. For me it usually about homework assignments. I am not saying the teacher is right here, but the way this has been handled is very poorly. Even a copy of a hand written note would be good if the op did not want to email.
When a parentt becomes hostile or defensive, or goes over the teachers head, before getting an explaination, I think the groundwork has been set
I have also seen parents who are agressive with teachers be told that Catholic school may not be the best fit for them and it’s not.
Some parents approach Catholic school with the misconception that because they are paying tuition, they can change or dictate how things are run as well, ie a Saturday meeting, or curriculum changes. I still think these questions were not only for the Op’s child, as many teachers these days communicate through email, twitter and so on… I think the other part was a get to know you kind of questionairre.
My thoughts would not go to CPS unless I had something to hide…that to me is paranoid.
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Rau
Guest
I don’t think people expect to be able to dictate how things are run, but I do hold the view that I am a customer of my children’s school and expect to be treated as such. In my jurisdiction, Catholic schools seem to be lower cost than in the US (due to a government funding contribution) and the Catholic schools tend to view themselves as doing the parents a favour by teaching their kids! My experience is that other private schools (almost certainly more expensive than Catholic schools) adopt a more responsive attitude to parents. Of course, these are just my personal observations, based on limited data. End of winge!
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mommy_k
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I am one of the parents who feel fortunate to be able to send my children to Catholic school…and yes, some teachers seem like that, but I see myself as co-educator and partner in my children’s education, not an adversary as the op seems. You don’t start out battling, and you approach things as a partnership. Only by speaking to the teacher and picking her brain would I know if she was a nut.
If i got that vibe, or the vibe that they are doing me a favor, around here there are other Catholic schools.
Edited to add: if every family tried to dictate how things are run, there would be a huge problem, as people have different ideas about this…We have to adapt to the school and choose the one that mirrors what we value.
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Rau
Guest
clearly that’s right. No one should be dictating - there can be no effective partnership on that basis. Mutual respect is required.
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EasterJoy
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Mutual respect is required, yes, but there is no question that it is the parents who have the obligation and right to be treated as the primary educators of their child. Each student has a personal set of principals: their parents.
Since parents have given children their life, they are bound by the most serious obligation to educate their offspring and therefore must be recognized as the primary and principal educators. – Gravissimum Educationis, Declaration on Christian Education, 1965
***Can. 796 §1. **Among the means to foster education, the Christian faithful are to hold schools in esteem; schools are the principal assistance to parents in fulfilling the function of education.
§2. Parents must cooperate closely with the teachers of the schools to which they entrust their children to be educated; moreover, teachers in fulfilling their duty are to collaborate very closely with parents, who are to be heard willingly and for whom associations or meetings are to be established and highly esteemed.*
I cannot imagine how the intrusive and upsetting efforts of a teacher to find out how the parents of the children she teaches made their living could be defended as within her rights or duties as a teacher. She is out of bounds!
If she has some concern that there is abuse or crime taking place in the home of one of her students, her principal ought to have been made aware of her suspicions and what she believed to be a reasonable cause to make such serious allegations.
If there is a serious reason to investigate the parents, it should not be the teacher doing it without any authorization from those who actually have the duty to investigate these things. If the parents are believed to be committing a crime, the people who investigate possible crimes in progress ought to be directing any investigation.
If there is no serious reason–and in this case, I have yet to hear what circumstance warrants investigation by civil authorities, let alone a school teacher–no one ought to be upsetting the family with these nosy interrogations at all. It is OK to invite people to disclose personal information in an effort to get to know them better, but it is hard to imagine how it could be anything but rude to wonder out loud how some family obtained the money necessary to enjoy nicer things than a teacher believes they ought to be able to afford.
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mommy_k
Guest
Please excuse that my quote button is not working…
It was not disclosed if the entire class got the questionairre or not, Easter joy…the parent could have wrote a note to the teacher on the questionairre asking it’s purpose, yet did not. These are common in my experience in some lower grade classes in Catholic school as a point for projects etc…as well as joining the school community with provision of email address, twitter, and facebook.,The op said the teacher asked what the parents did for a living…not salary. The teacher asked what type of car, not the cost, perhaps for dismissal purposes. The op assumed the motives for these questions…
I guess the op would be adverse to career day projects as well, or they are super private people…when someone asks me what dh and I do, we just tell them.
But i digress, the op is speculating based on zero facts. And asked the question in this thread how we would handle this.
The only facts here are that the op called, and the teacher never called back, and this angered the parent…so instead of trying to email, or send a note to the teacher, the op went over the teachers head to the principal.
I can assume that this angered the teacher, especially if it was a common practice…so what was a small question, built up to a huge deal, based on the op’s speculation and guessing. It may or may not warranted this action…
Other things included by the op…4000 for field trips in elementary school…IEP services oaid by patents…Fund raising dollars that are mandatory.
There is no way these are being represented accurately, and based on limited info we cannot assume the teacher had an ulterior motive in this particular instance.
If the teacher was investigating, then this was the wrong way to approach this I agree. As it stands though there is no way to know for sure.
It was not disclosed if the entire class got the questionairre or not, Easter joy…the parent could have wrote a note to the teacher on the questionairre asking it’s purpose, yet did not. These are common in my experience in some lower grade classes in Catholic school as a point for projects etc…as well as joining the school community with provision of email address, twitter, and facebook.,The op said the teacher asked what the parents did for a living…not salary. The teacher asked what type of car, not the cost, perhaps for dismissal purposes. The op assumed the motives for these questions…
I guess the op would be adverse to career day projects as well, or they are super private people…when someone asks me what dh and I do, we just tell them.
But i digress, the op is speculating based on zero facts. And asked the question in this thread how we would handle this.
The only facts here are that the op called, and the teacher never called back, and this angered the parent…so instead of trying to email, or send a note to the teacher, the op went over the teachers head to the principal.
I can assume that this angered the teacher, especially if it was a common practice…so what was a small question, built up to a huge deal, based on the op’s speculation and guessing. It may or may not warranted this action…
Other things included by the op…4000 for field trips in elementary school…IEP services oaid by patents…Fund raising dollars that are mandatory.
There is no way these are being represented accurately, and based on limited info we cannot assume the teacher had an ulterior motive in this particular instance.
If the teacher was investigating, then this was the wrong way to approach this I agree. As it stands though there is no way to know for sure.
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pianistclare
Guest
My thoughts exactly
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Hoosier_Daddy
Guest
I think the resolution of sending the children back to another school will be acceptable to both the op and the school. Hopefully a refund is in order. I am currious as to why they switched schools in the first place.
If the teacher is concerned about the child’s home life I can understand the prying, however there may be no real issues here. Sometimes teachers can be over sensitive to these things because of training.
If the teacher does suspect something is amiss then the op should be prepared for the situation in which the old teacher calls the new school.
Honestly, I’m just glad the op is leaving this school on sheer monitary principles.
If the teacher is concerned about the child’s home life I can understand the prying, however there may be no real issues here. Sometimes teachers can be over sensitive to these things because of training.
If the teacher does suspect something is amiss then the op should be prepared for the situation in which the old teacher calls the new school.
Honestly, I’m just glad the op is leaving this school on sheer monitary principles.
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Eliza10
Guest
Interesting. Actually that is what I experienced in the school that I had my son in the year the 5th graders had the psychotic teacher (that I mentioned in an earlier post in this thread). This school where my son attended was the ONLY independent traditional Catholic school available in the large diocese - the rest of the Catholic schools were under the long time jurisdiction of one of the most liberal bishops in the country, and less “Catholic” than a “private school experience”. [Note: I am not naming where, so I can be free to speak the truth]. The administration and staff were united in the SAME attitude that you describe towards parents.“We are doing you a favor. We sacrifice ourselves here for low pay (true!), so you should be grateful! And not ever question us. We have no need for your (name removed by moderator)ut as a parent or a Catholic.”
The attitude lacks humility, at the very least.- Status