I get over type 2 through Confession, Penance, and seeking humility. To the extent that I am humble, I don’t look up at myself and consequently seeing myself fall doesn’t hurt so bad. It’s easier to stand up again if you haven’t got so far to fall, and it’s our pride that makes us so lofty that we have a long way to fall. When we learn deeper humility, though, we don’t look up to ourselves but only toward God and we gaze on His mercy far more than on ourselves. For we aren’t that worth looking at. He is.
The big reason it’s hard to deal with our own sins is pride. If we hadn’t so much pride, but were truly concerned only with the glory of God rather than our own glory, we wouldn’t care if our own personal glory or self-image is diminished by our sinfulness. When we are unable to forgive ourselves, this often shows that we are engrossed in ourselves. We should offer up this excessive attachment to ourselves to God. We should indeed look at ourselves enough to know our sins and then offer them to God in repentance, but our gaze should truly be fixed on God and if we look at ourselves, we should only do so through God. When our gaze is fixed on Him rather than on ourselves, we see mercy and love, and as a consequence we are filled with faith, hope and love. This hope does not disappoint. When our gaze is fixed on ourselves, we see failures and get depressed. But this is wrong because we should not be looking at ourselves but at God, and that is what produces all our mercy, peace, love and joy. It also is humble, for it turns us away from ourselves and toward God, and thus makes ourselves godly in reaction to what we see of God.
Philippians 4:8 reflects on this some when it says, “Brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”
All these things are emanations of God. We are blessed when we look toward Him, focus our eyes and hearts on Him and not on our sins.
St. Francis de Sales says in Chapter IX of Part 3 of the “Introduction to the Devout Life,” the following.
“ONE important direction in which to exercise gentleness, is with respect to ourselves, never growing irritated with one’s self or one’s imperfections; for although it is but reasonable that we should be displeased and grieved at our own faults, yet ought we to guard against a bitter, angry, or peevish feeling about
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them. Many people fall into the error of being angry because they have been angry, vexed because they have given way to vexation, thus keeping up a chronic state of irritation, which adds to the evil of what is past, and prepares the way for a fresh fall on the first occasion. Moreover, all this anger and irritation against one’s self fosters pride, and springs entirely from self-love, which is disturbed and fretted by its own imperfection. What we want is a quiet, steady, firm displeasure at our own faults. A judge gives sentence more effectually speaking deliberately and calmly than if he be impetuous and passionate (for in the latter case he punishes not so much the actual faults before him, but what they appear to him to be); and so we can chasten ourselves far better by a quiet stedfast repentance, than by eager hasty ways of penitence, which, in fact, are proportioned not by the weight of our faults, but according to our feelings and inclinations.”
When we focus on God and not on ourselves, we are less agitated by our failures and sins and we don’t focus on them or bludgeon ourselves. If our concern is for God’s glory rather than our own, our own sins won’t disturb us in the same way. Rather, we will only be upset because we have grieved God, and this can be swiftly remedied through Confession and Penance, for God is full of super-abundant gentleness and mercy. The experience of this gives us greater peace.
Here’s more from St. Francis de Sales.
"For instance:—Let me suppose that I am specially seeking to conquer vanity, and yet that I have fallen conspicuously into that sin;—instead of taking myself to task as abominable and wretched, for breaking so many resolutions, calling myself unfit to lift up my eyes to Heaven, as disloyal, faithless, and the like, I would deal pitifully and quietly with myself. “Poor heart! so soon fallen again into the snare! Well now, rise up again bravely and fall no more. Seek God’s Mercy, hope in Him, ask Him to keep you from falling again, and begin to tread the pathway of humility afresh. We must be more on our guard henceforth.” Such a course will be the surest way to making a stedfast substantial resolution against the special fault, to which should be added any external means suitable, and the advice of one’s director.
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If any one does not find this gentle dealing sufficient, let him use sterner self-rebuke and admonition, provided only, that whatever indignation he may rouse against himself, he finally works it all up to a tender loving trust in God, treading in the footsteps of that great penitent who cried out to his troubled soul: “Why art thou so vexed, O my soul, and why art thou so disquieted within me? O put thy trust in God, for I will yet thank Him, Which is the help of my countenance, and my God.”
So then, when you have fallen, lift up your heart in quietness, humbling yourself deeply before God by reason of your frailty, without marvelling that you fell;—there is no cause to marvel because weakness is weak, or infirmity infirm. Heartily lament that you should have offended God, and begin anew to cultivate the lacking grace, with a very deep trust in His Mercy, and with a bold, brave heart."
