Dealing with people we dont like

[Lilsheep88]

How do you go about with dealing people you dont like… I’m referring to those people tha have clear irreconcilable differences with or differences in interest. I have a list of people that fall under this category, especially after the diplomacy option (Getting to know them, talking to them kindly) has been exhausted. (ie: homewreckers, friends that talk garbage behind your back, people you did not have a good start off with, rude and disrespectful people, annoying and arrogant people, psychopathics / delusionals.)

Its definitely not judging IMO… nor is it wrong to hold a strong opinion on someone for the sake of self defense… especially against people that have a track record of mistreating you / being pricks to you.

I know we are supposed to love our neighbour, but where do we draw the line??? I know Christ also said if your enemies slap your left cheek, let them slap your right cheek either… but seirously though… Do we have to rub shoulders with them / our faces to them if we have to? If we can avoid them and minimize contact with them and not go out of our way to accomodate them?

 

[Lilsheep88]

srry for the grammar mistakes I was typing hastily

 

[tbcrawford]

How do you go about with dealing people you dont like… I’m referring to those people tha have clear irreconcilable differences with or differences in interest. I have a list of people that fall under this category, especially after the diplomacy option (Getting to know them, talking to them kindly) has been exhausted. (ie: homewreckers, friends that talk garbage behind your back, people you did not have a good start off with, rude and disrespectful people, annoying and arrogant people, psychopathics / delusionals.)

Its definitely not judging IMO… nor is it wrong to hold a strong opinion on someone for the sake of self defense… especially against people that have a track record of mistreating you / being pricks to you.

I know we are supposed to love our neighbour, but where do we draw the line??? I know Christ also said if your enemies slap your left cheek, let them slap your right cheek either… but seirously though… Do we have to rub shoulders with them / our faces to them if we have to? If we can avoid them and minimize contact with them and not go out of our way to accomodate them?

Hi my friend I think your last sentence sums it up “If we can avoid them and minimize contact with them and not go out of our way to accomodate them?”

For me dealing with people who hurt me or cause difficulties I find the best thing is not to have confrontation or upset but to minimise conatct. Or as I say “love from a distance”.That way you wish them well but avoid drama and upset to both parties.
God bless

 

[Lilsheep88]

Here is another question… what if they were somebody that you cant avoid, somebody that you have to come in contact with frequently? Is it a sin to be reclusive and closed minded towards them? To act as if they were thin air and give them a cold shoulder? Keeping a Hi and Bye relationship. For example, somebody I really dont like. As a fellow human being… sure I love them, but does this necessitate having to be “close” to them?

 

[jmcrae]

Here is another question… what if they were somebody that you cant avoid, somebody that you have to come in contact with frequently? Is it a sin to be reclusive and closed minded towards them? To act as if they were thin air? Keeping a Hi and Bye relationship. For example, somebody I really dont like.

Just keep all of your dealings very business-like with them, and don’t let your emotions get in your way. Focus on the task. If they try to make small talk, just make a short polite response (“that’s nice,” or “Oh, I didn’t know”) and then divert back to the subject at hand.

 

[fred_conty]

What did Jesus Himself do in situations like this? There is a difference in the way we
feel, and what we know. It is hard to make the right choices.

Just an idea.

 

[Lilsheep88]

Well. there were times that he was “angry” and lashed at the Jewish leaders… and there were times and will be a time when he said and will say “get away from me, I dont know you”, especially those who did not believe in him / took him for granted. Besides… the words “like” and “love” are complementary but dont mean the same thing.

 

[stuk_ina_moment]

Be polite as you can with them, dont let them get under your skin its now worth it. Just smile as you pass them by. Best thing you can do is pray for them

 

[Mark_Roberto]

How do you go about with dealing people you dont like… I’m referring to those people tha have clear irreconcilable differences with or differences in interest. I have a list of people that fall under this category, especially after the diplomacy option (Getting to know them, talking to them kindly) has been exhausted. (ie: homewreckers, friends that talk garbage behind your back, people you did not have a good start off with, rude and disrespectful people, annoying and arrogant people, psychopathics / delusionals.)

Its definitely not judging IMO… nor is it wrong to hold a strong opinion on someone for the sake of self defense… especially against people that have a track record of mistreating you / being pricks to you.

I know we are supposed to love our neighbour, but where do we draw the line??? I know Christ also said if your enemies slap your left cheek, let them slap your right cheek either… but seirously though… Do we have to rub shoulders with them / our faces to them if we have to? If we can avoid them and minimize contact with them and not go out of our way to accomodate them?

You’ve gone the diplomacy route and gave them a chance at reconciliation through mutual understanding but there comes a point where division is apparently irrevocable. What you should do in this instance is be distant yet respectful. Be charitable and professional when duties of strict charity arise but otherwise leave them alone. Love them by praying for their conversion, refusing to seek revenge for past hurts and refraining from engaging in malicious gossip about them. You should be assertive however if such people are crossing the line by engaging in abusive behavior. If at all possible set boundaries for their behavior and enforce those boundaries by reporting abusive behavior to management or confronting the individual in a strong yet charitable manner (I assume you’re having to deal with people you don’t like because either they’re co-workers or relatives from those obligatory family gatherings.) Bullies are typically cowards who seek out those who they perceive to be easy targets they can demean in order to inflate their own egos at the victim’s expense. If you cause trouble for them, they may stop because it’s simply too costly for them to bully you.

 

[Lilsheep88]

Okay, let me spill the beans a little. I know this guy named X, and I cant avoid him. I dont like him at all, I cant stand him. I tried to love him, but me and this guy had past beef. We say Hi once in a while… but he doesnt even reach out to me, nor do I want to reach out to him. It was his birthday recently and I texted him Merry Xmas and Happy Bday that I would get him a gift. But now I dont feel like giving that gift, because I feel it would be just a waste of money… I have no stake in this person whatsoever. Am i still obligated to give him that gift?

 

[puzzleannie]

I know we are supposed to love our neighbour, but where do we draw the line??? I know Christ also said if your enemies slap your left cheek, let them slap your right cheek either… but seirously though… Do we have to rub shoulders with them / our faces to them if we have to? If we can avoid them and minimize contact with them and not go out of our way to accomodate them?

sometimes separation, avoidance, and minimal contact is the most loving response to such people.

 

[TiggerS]

It is impossible probably to like every person. We are called to love them and this means hoping and praying for their wellbeing in every way, caring about their wellbeing in every way, and striving to treat them as I would like to be treated. It means that if I am able to help in some way, then help is given.
How a person responds to a person that they do not like, is probably all about the person responding. If I cannot respond without becoming angry and arguing, it may be best to avoid them while the fault (anger and arguing) is mine as well as any faults on their part.
I have a person I have problems with because they are passive aggressive and invariably my anger is tripped and this is a fault on both our parts. It would be far better if we could meet without me becoming angry and arguing and passive aggression on their part - and this is something to strive for if at all possible. Work in progress with prayer.

 

[on_eagles_wingz]

Jesus said that we should “love our enemies” and “do good to those who mistreat you”. It sounds completely counter-intuitive but its how Jesus said we should deal with those who mistreat us. We are also supposed to pray for them. It says in the scripture, “if a man steals your shirt, give him your jacket also.” If the enemy asks you to walk a mile, walk with him two miles. It also says that if someone strikes you, to “turn the other cheek”.

When someone hurts you or treats you rudely or unfairly or with indifference, say these words which Jesus spoke while he carried the cross on his way to the crucifixion…

“Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

 

[erine]

I think it depends on state in life of both people, to determine how to be the most loving.

Examples:

Young single catholic girl is getting hit on repeatedly by a man at work/school who doesnt get the hint she’s not interested. It would be more charitable to be cold and distant, professionally polite but no more, than to try to be “friends” as this would be unfair to the man and distressing for the girl and perhaps put the man closer to sin.

Young single girl dates a man who wants to kiss her…see this is an example of where we DON’T apply the words to “give your cloak too…” as in if he wants to kiss give him more than that! I’m being silly but the point is there are situations where giving everything according to the Lord’s instructions is not as straightforward and literal.
Would you keep giving away all your money to a drug addict? You get the idea.

Doesnt mean we dont give all, just be wise about what it means in each case. In general more loving in the cases would be tough love and prayer and boundaries. Giving all might be making the effort to help, speak the truth in spite of ridicule, Pray for them in spite of anger, and so on.

It goes without saying that one would have to pray often for these people, even if one was not overtly demonstrative.

Lil Sheep, does this person put you in a near occasion of sin (not their fault but do you become v angry/judgmental etc near the person?)

Remember most of all that our work here is to SAVE SOULS, not to be endlessly “nice” without boundaries. We ARE called to give a lot, indeed, and we should, and be kind, but there are times when it actually hurts the receiver if we give in the wrong way. I’ve and priests confirm this.