Dealing with protestants

[Cyril_Of_Canada]

Hi. I’m a protestant. My wife has taken their side and
doesn’t want to hear me talk about catholicism.
And today she told me she isn’t going to meet
with a priest that I set up an appointment for us to
meet with him. Previously she said she was okay with it.
Not anymore as of today.

She doesn’t want me to talk about catholicism; She doesn’t
want to hear about it from me; She refused to investigate
that claims of the Catholic Church with me. She asked me why I don’t
listen to the advice of the church we’re currently attending. And the
advice of certain pastors who tell me to not investigate the claims
of the Catholic Church, who says catholics worship saints and Mary, who
say communion of saints is wrong, and that praying to a priest is unnecessary,
that the pope approved the sale of indulgances and gave it his blessing. That
going into the catholic church is a step backward; That Jesus called his followers
out of the Catholic Church into the future with the Protestant Church. These are the kind
of people she asks me to listen to for their advice on not converting to catholicism. In fact,
she told me today I have a problem and should see a doctor about my firm desire to consider converting. I’m not sure if they are saying anything private to my wife, but they are all praying for me not to convert, and they said they would advice my wife to not convert.

I was thinking maybe I really should engage these people with apologetics. It’s as if I’m being forced into a corner. I really feel I should urge them to read Scott Hahn’s book “Rome Sweet Home” and another one called Crossing The Tiber. I’m currently reading them.

I really feel compelled to counter attack on the subject of sola fide and sola scriptura—such as how Luther TOOK OUT books from Holy Scripture, and how he called James an epistle of straw and wanted to remove the Book Of Revelation and called it not a work of the Holy Spirit. And how Paul urged Timothy to carry on traditions. And how Baptism being merely a symbol is unbiblical but it has saving power and how infant baptism is biblical just as jewish infants were circumcized on the eighth day(They couldn’t decide to enter the mosaic covenent! Does the nullify themselves as being jews? No).
What about their belief concerning contraception?

Thoughts. I need advice. I may be seeing the priest alone tomorrow and could use your prayers also for helping my wife change her heart and still be willing to go tomorrow.

 

[Cyril_Of_Canada]

One of the pastors and I had a discussion that was quite pleasant. I’ll call him Timothy.
Timothy and I talked about the subject of the Bible. He thinks Catholics ADDED to The Bible, but we all know that is not true. Should I engage him to point out how it was not catholics who added to the bible, but Luther who took books out of it, even wanting to take out the Book Of Revelation and ignore the warning in that book not to subtract from those words?

How the jewish counsel in 100AD that voted that such books were not to belong in the OT also declared Jesus as not the messiah. How Augustine, the church father that protestants look up to, called the counsel of Hippo and Carthage to canonize the scripture, which included those books Luther removed—scriptures which he considered himself to be closed.

Yeah?

 

[Cyril_Of_Canada]

Should I privately invite them to investigate the claims and teachings of the Catholic Church with me?

 

[SaintFrancis333]

Don’t try to fight that battle alone, believe me. Pray unceasingly for the Lord to guide you. Your focus should be on becoming Catholic yourself. I would stop attending the protestant “church” if I were you. The very fact that they don’t want you learning about anything outside of their private interpretation on Scriptures and history (which are woefully inaccurate and revisionist) goes to show that they are afraid of open dialogue. If they possess the truth, as they claim, what harm is there in putting it against other faiths? The truth wins out in the end does it not? You are the man of the household and your family’s spirituality is ultimately dependent on you. Be strong. Love God above your wife. Follow His call. Become Catholic and be strengthened by the Sacraments Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior created to nourish us and help us persevere in a world that is ever pressing us to abandon our faith. There is nothing more precious to a Christian than receiving Jesus Christ’s Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Blessed Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist. Christ Himself said that those who do not eat His flesh and drink His blood have no life in them. Have you looked into RCIA?

 

[ClearWater]

Your wife doesn’t sound ready to talk about the faith. I would say not to try to convert her as it would only cause more strife, now. Lead by example.

 

[Millie123]

I have a slightly different situation than you. Im a revert back to the Catholic faith but i do remember arguments that I had with my spouse when i decided to come back to the church. This is what i found worked for me.

1. I made a conscious decision to give my husband up to God, and no longer argue about the Catholic faith, he has my peaceful and quiet prayers…not arguments and anger. Which at the time did mean that i had to be more quiet about my conversion to Catholic beliefs. I did not hide what i was doing but i also stopped having my conversion thrown constantly into my husbands face all of the time. And it also stopped being the center of our conversations. I think that helped him come to terms with it better.
   Like i said though, I did not hide what i was doing.
   When asked “Where are you going?” I would say…“I’m going to mass, I’ll see you in an hour” and when I came home from mass I came home with a big smile on face, a kiss for him, and handed him a cookie. And i left it at that, no discussions about the church…unless he asked and i would calmly answer with a smile.But, I absolutely refused to engage in arguments.
2. I also do not think that there is anything fruitful to be gained by continuing to have apologetic arguments with these pastors. Youve already met with them and listened to what they had to say. They are not open to what you have to say…in fact I would argue that to continue to meet and engage in apologetic arguments with these pastors will only continue to add to the tension that is present in your home among you and your wife. Which is not helpful at all. I don’t think that there is anything for you to be gained by seeking out and continuing to argue with them.
3. You mentioned in your post about one of your pastors talking about what would happen if your wife converted to Catholicism. Hopefully, your wife’s conversion is not something that you’re bringing up. Because if it is then i think that is a bad idea. I think bringing up the possible conversion of your wife may just be adding to the continued fear, anxiety, and tension that your wife is experiencing right now…so do not bring up this at all.
   I remember the first time my own husband agreed to meet with a priest with me. Within 5 minutes my husband blurted out “I don’t want to convert”. My priest looked him in his eyes and said “I have no expectation for you to convert, and I dont at all want you to feel the least bit of pressure to convert.” My husband peacefully said “oh”. And the rest of meeting that day with the priest was very peaceful. The priest calmed my husbands fears and quieted tension that I didnt realize was sitting within him. He was feeling pressure to convert that I didnt realize. And that was making him anxious, tense, and fearful. Now he has absolutely no pressure or internal fear to convert, and that has made him more open to the Catholic faith.

So i guess to sum up my post for you is. Stop with the arguments, dont engage in them. They will not be fruitful or helpful…and leave the situation up to God through peaceful and quiet prayers

 

[lantheria]

I would stop attending the protestant “church” if I were you.

Nice anti-Protestant jab there, pal. It’s not a “church”, it’s a church.

 

[AKDee]

I would continue to follow where Christ is leading you, even if your wife doesn’t follow. If you’re reading or have read Rome Sweet Home, you have already read how things were so tough for the Hahn’s after Scott converted. But eventually Kimberly followed.

If/When people ask why you converted, explain your reasons. I converted two years ago, and people ask me all the time why I converted. It’s to the point now where I feel I need an elevator speech. And while no one has converted because of me, I’ve been told that they see a huge difference in me now. They can see Christ at work in my life, and so my life is becoming my testimony. Please don’t take that as bragging- I am a sinner and struggle every day. But I’m a better person than I was, and people notice that. My fiance, who initially swore he would “NEVER” become a Catholic now no longer says that. I work for a small business where my co-worker and employers are all Baptist, and they’ve gone from being hostile about my conversion to asking genuine questions out of curiosity. It’s a step.

 

[Usige]

Nice anti-Protestant jab there, pal. It’s not a “church”, it’s a church.

The Catholic Church does not generally recognize protestant denominations as churches, but rather faith communities. In Catholic parlance a Church is of apostolic origin and the majority of protestant faith communities reject their apostolic origins via the Roman Church or were created out of whole cloth absent a defined apostolic inheritance.

That is not to say the quotes weren’t meant dismissively, but to point out that Catholics do not consider communities like the “Presbyterian Church USA” to be Churches in the proper sense of the word. Simply putting the word church on a communities does not make it a Church.

 

[lantheria]

The Catholic Church does not generally recognize protestant denominations as churches, but rather faith communities.

I’ve heard this a thousand times and I still hold that your denomination is so unbelievably wrong to do so. Faith community and ecclesial community are nothing but exclusionist slurs against Christ-following, Bible-believing, Gospel-preaching Christian CHURCHES that just happen not to have the word Catholic on the sign out front.

If it preaches Christ’s Gospel, it’s a valid Christian CHURCH. That’s apostolic continuity as it should be.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Hi. I’m a protestant. My wife has taken their side and
doesn’t want to hear me talk about catholicism.
And today she told me she isn’t going to meet
with a priest that I set up an appointment for us to
meet with him. Previously she said she was okay with it.
Not anymore as of today.

She doesn’t want me to talk about catholicism; She doesn’t
want to hear about it from me; She refused to investigate
that claims of the Catholic Church with me. She asked me why I don’t
listen to the advice of the church we’re currently attending. And the
advice of certain pastors who tell me to not investigate the claims
of the Catholic Church, who says catholics worship saints and Mary, who
say communion of saints is wrong, and that praying to a priest is unnecessary,
that the pope approved the sale of indulgances and gave it his blessing. That
going into the catholic church is a step backward; That Jesus called his followers
out of the Catholic Church into the future with the Protestant Church. These are the kind
of people she asks me to listen to for their advice on not converting to catholicism. In fact,
she told me today I have a problem and should see a doctor about my firm desire to consider converting. I’m not sure if they are saying anything private to my wife, but they are all praying for me not to convert, and they said they would advice my wife to not convert.

I was thinking maybe I really should engage these people with apologetics. It’s as if I’m being forced into a corner. I really feel I should urge them to read Scott Hahn’s book “Rome Sweet Home” and another one called Crossing The Tiber. I’m currently reading them.

I really feel compelled to counter attack on the subject of sola fide and sola scriptura
/…/
What about their belief concerning contraception?

Thoughts. I need advice. I may be seeing the priest alone tomorrow and could use your prayers also for helping my wife change her heart and still be willing to go tomorrow.

As a priest, I think it is terribly tragic that the situation has reached this point to begin with. Your marriage could end up in danger of collapse with the way things are unfolding.

Over my decades, I have done the marriage preparation and witnessed marriages where both parties were Catholic, where one party was Catholic and the other was a non-catholic Christian, where one party was Catholic and the other party was of another religion, and finally where one party was Catholic and the other party was of no faith at all.

I have also had every iteration of the above list where the party I identify as Catholic represented someone converting to the Catholic faith after their marriage. Rarely is it that the issue of becoming Catholic creates such a crisis that it need end the marriage, when the matter is handled properly and in a way that is non-threatening to the spouse – and when there is a problem, in my experience, it was because of how the process of becoming Catholic was handled.

I will add this. If, as a priest, someone whom I agreed to see to assist in a life struggle, such as the pending collapse of their marriage, tried to “convert” me or came at me with apologetic material or lure me from my ministry as a priest such as you are contemplating with these reformed clergy…I would react with indignant horror. My response would be quite decisive and utterly unpleasant for that person. Such a thing is just utterly beyond insulting and inappropriate and is a response, frankly, unworthy of the ecumenical age in which we live. In sum, such a person would have been thrown out of my office forthwith and banned from ever receiving another appointment or being able to access the personnel of the parish – with an alert detailing the whole matter sent to the diocesan bishop.

You need to explain to the priest you are meeting with what is the actual situation concerning the state of your marriage and your confrontational approach relative to your wife’s clergy so that he can guide you to a healthier response and, hopefully, help you to salvage your marriage – as well as to offer effective counsel about exploration of your interest in becoming Catholic.

In no sense should you be trying to convert your wife. If she has no interest in investigating Catholicism, that is her prerogative and you should be quite accepting of that. Rather, you should be trying to find a calm and acceptable detente that will allow her to continue to live and practice what she believes and that allows you to do the same. This is the respect of conscience that is to be accorded to every human person, as eloquently described in Vatican II’s Dignitatis Humanae.

If your wife asks you not to speak about Catholicism, then you should respect that. A change of faith represents the introduction a fundamentally destabilizing element to a marriage. Pastorally, it needs to be handled with a maximum of care and caution.

Clearly, the circumstances have proceeded already to a point where your wife feels no longer comfortable even with meeting with the priest merely to have questions answered. That is truly unfortunate.

If she has little or no familiarity with Catholic clergy, everything should have been done to have made this encounter very low key and non-threatening to her. The intensity needs to be dialing back immediately. Hopefully, for everyone concerned, the priest with whom you will now meet alone is sage and experienced in these matters. Presuming he is, perhaps he would even meet with her one-on-one in a circumstance she would find non-alarming in order to assuage her anxieties and concerns, if the problem simply is your decision to explore Catholicism.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

The Catholic Church does not generally recognize protestant denominations as churches, but rather faith communities. In Catholic parlance a Church is of apostolic origin and the majority of protestant faith communities reject their apostolic origins via the Roman Church or were created out of whole cloth absent a defined apostolic inheritance.

That is not to say the quotes weren’t meant dismissively, but to point out that Catholics do not consider communities like the “Presbyterian Church USA” to be Churches in the proper sense of the word. Simply putting the word church on a communities does not make it a Church.

I’ve heard this a thousand times and I still hold that your denomination is so unbelievably wrong to do so. Faith community and ecclesial community are nothing but exclusionist slurs against Christ-following, Bible-believing, Gospel-preaching Christian CHURCHES that just happen not to have the word Catholic on the sign out front.

If it preaches Christ’s Gospel, it’s a valid Christian CHURCH. That’s apostolic continuity as it should be.

Actually, as a priest who worked most of his priestly life in ecumenism as an academic as well as in a practical way, I want to intervene here to explain that – in reality – our terminology as Catholics is not meant to be exclusionist or derogatory. It is not a matter, as the previous poster said, of “not recognizing denominations”…we assuredly do – and we recognise them as instruments of the Holy Spirit for sanctification as well as the proclamation of the Gospel. Our usage is simply the implication in action of our own internal terminology that results from Catholic ecclesiology.

In terms of “Church,” speaking with a precision of theology, that is vocabulary which means a reality presided by a bishop Rome is able to recognise. Nothing that lacks such a bishop can – solely from the perspective of theological precision – be termed “Church.”

The terminology used however is not meant to demean any assembly of the disciples of the Lord of whom Pope Saint John Paul remarked, about Catholic and non-Catholic relations, saying: “There is an increased awareness that we all belong to Christ.” (Ut Unum Sint 42) In the same paragraph of this document, the Pope wrote:

Again, the very expression separated brethren tends to be replaced today by expressions which more readily evoke the deep communion — linked to the baptismal character — which the Spirit fosters in spite of historical and canonical divisions. Today we speak of “other Christians”, “others who have received Baptism”, and “Christians of other Communities”. The Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms on Ecumenism refers to the Communities to which these Christians belong as “Churches and Ecclesial Communities that are not in full communion with the Catholic Church”.69 This broadening of vocabulary is indicative of a significant change in attitudes.
Having said that, even at the Vatican, the term Church is always used in non-theological moments when we use the appropriate description. We always refer to the Anglican Church, for example, or, as can be seen in the below issued from Vatican Radio.
*(Vatican Radio) Pope Francis on Monday welcomed an ecumenical delegation from the Lutheran Church of Finland, marking the Feast of St. Henrik.

The Nordic country of 5 ½ million people is mostly Lutheran, but 1.1% is Orthodox Christian. The Catholic population numbers a little over 12,000 people.

“Your ecumenical pilgrimage is an eloquent sign of the fact that, as Lutherans, Orthodox and Catholics, you have recognized what unites you and together you wish to bear witness to Jesus Christ, who is the foundation of unity,” Pope Francis said.

“In our dialogue, differences still remain in doctrine and in practice,” he continued.
"This must not discourage us, but instead spur us along our journey towards ever greater unity, not least by working to overcome old ideas and suspicions,” said the Holy Father. “In a world frequently torn by conflict and marked by secularism and indifference, we are called to join in professing our faith in Jesus Christ, and thus to become ever more credible witnesses of unity and promoters of peace and reconciliation.”*
Full story and full text of comments at: en.radiovaticana.va/news/2016/01/18/pope_francis_greets_ecumenical_delegation_from_finland/1201805

Be assured, I would NEVER put church in quotation marks. And I would use the term church regarding your community in every instance except in the most formal of written official instruments if it called for an extreme of precision of language.

In the end, I would also just add that, as an ecumenist, I am very aware that this is a sensitive point at times. As dialogue proceeds, there is a need for much patience and good will on the part of both sides of the dialogue. A personal thank you, though, for this pointed reminder of that fact.

 

[Petaro]

My wife is not Catholic and her family are very anti-catholic. I have never requested her to convert and she continues to repeat little anti-catholic comments she has heard from her mother even after twenty years. However, I have just tried to be a good husband and she has been the best of wives I could ever have had. Just lately she has commented on how good the Catholic hospital I attend has been and how she would never choose another if she fell ill. She also has nothing but praise for the Catholic hospital where our son was born. I have now been put on palliative care through a Catholic hospital and her friends who have had experience of this unit has nothing but praise for them, even though they have been taught to hate the Catholics in their family.

Lead your wife by example. Be the very best husband you can be for her. My wife, being ignorant of the supposed cabalistic rites of a Catholic funeral insisted I arrange it through my parish so she could do it right. ( She still half believes that I want a full sung High Mass with the Pope being invited as well as free beer for a week of celebrations.)
Compromise, an understanding of where each partner is in their journey to the Lord, and a good sense of humble humour goes a long way to take the pressure out of the family situation.
I find there are some people so intent on their own opinion that any argument is futile and will only increase tension, as advised by the post of the very wise priest who responded with his experience.
Become the very best Catholic you can be. You are created to please the Lord, not the bigots that can be found in any denomination. Just remember your vows to your wife and be an example she may grudgingly respect because she finds it so easy to love you.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I have now been put on palliative care through a Catholic hospital and her friends who have had experience of this unit has nothing but praise for them, even though they have been taught to hate the Catholics in their family.

Oh! I read this with profoundest emotion.

I bless you from afar and I assure you of a most special place in my prayers as you prepare for the end of your pilgrimage. May Saint Joseph and Saint Benedict assist you to have the most blessed of passages from this life to the next. May Our Blessed Lady herself come to receive you and present your soul to Jesus; may she intercede for you in the time remaining and in the moment of judgment.

I pray you have also, through both the hospital and your parish, the very best and most attentive of pastoral care to accompany you. I wish there was somehow more I could write that could be of help…

 

[brian_custer]

if you could just convince your detractors to read or listen to book or audio book from scott hahn

there is no one better refuting the protestant way of thinking w/ the possible exception of tim staples

 

[Don_Ruggero]

My wife is not Catholic and her family are very anti-catholic. I have never requested her to convert and she continues to repeat little anti-catholic comments she has heard from her mother even after twenty years. However, I have just tried to be a good husband and she has been the best of wives I could ever have had. Just lately she has commented on how good the Catholic hospital I attend has been and how she would never choose another if she fell ill. She also has nothing but praise for the Catholic hospital where our son was born. I have now been put on palliative care through a Catholic hospital and her friends who have had experience of this unit has nothing but praise for them, even though they have been taught to hate the Catholics in their family.

Lead your wife by example. Be the very best husband you can be for her. My wife, being ignorant of the supposed cabalistic rites of a Catholic funeral insisted I arrange it through my parish so she could do it right. ( She still half believes that I want a full sung High Mass with the Pope being invited as well as free beer for a week of celebrations.)
Compromise, an understanding of where each partner is in their journey to the Lord, and a good sense of humble humour goes a long way to take the pressure out of the family situation.
I find there are some people so intent on their own opinion that any argument is futile and will only increase tension, as advised by the post of the very wise priest who responded with his experience.
Become the very best Catholic you can be. You are created to please the Lord, not the bigots that can be found in any denomination. Just remember your vows to your wife and be an example she may grudgingly respect because she finds it so easy to love you.

As a priest, I would just add that this testimony is the most beautiful of responses and the best of advice I could expect to read here.

 

[Cyril_Of_Canada]

I’d like to point out:

My wife asked me not to pray for her to be catholic. I have respected that request.
I’ve conceided and said our son can be raised in a protestant church and go to a protestant christian school.
I’ve told her she doesn’t have to convert and can remain protestant; I said I’ll still drive them to their church and attend their church services
with them.

This is the train of logic I face: You wanted a big wedding(we had 60 people), I compromised; You wanted to buy a home and move closer to your work; I didn’t and wanted to stay where we lived, I compromised. Now you want to convert to the The Catholic Church, I don’t want you to. I’m not compromising this time. She no longer wants to obey me in this area and she has reported to our pastors how I am still attending mass and had even asked her to meet with the priest.

At this point, I’m fighting just to enter the gate to get into the Church.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I’d like to point out:

My wife asked me not to pray for her to be catholic. I have respected that request.
I’ve conceided and said our son can be raised in a protestant church and go to a protestant christian school.
I’ve told her she doesn’t have to convert and can remain protestant; I said I’ll still drive them to their church and attend their church services
with them.

This is the train of logic I face: You wanted a big wedding(we had 60 people), I compromised; You wanted to buy a home and move closer to your work; I didn’t and wanted to stay where we lived, I compromised. Now you want to convert to the The Catholic Church, I don’t want you to. I’m not compromising this time. She no longer wants to obey me in this area and she has reported to our pastors how I am still attending mass and had even asked her to meet with the priest.

At this point, I’m fighting just to enter the gate to get into the Church.

I am confused as to who is “you” and who is “I” in the bolded part of the paragraph. “You” at times seems to point to being your wife but then at the end, “you” has to indicate you yourself and not her.

In any event, I return to what was implicit in my original advice: it seems to me that your most urgent need is marriage counseling and I hope the priest can help in making a referral in that regard, in the hope there can be introduced a healthier dynamic regarding both expectations and communication. I think that even more, given your response post.

I am still trying to process why you would have any desire to, as you wrote, “counter-attack” these other clergy. That is a deeply disturbing image to me. I have never encountered that in all my years as a priest…and I’ve encountered more than enough to write a book. Trying to help others work through crises of faith on both ends of the spectrum…? Yes. Both those coming into and those deciding to go elsewhere than the Catholic Church.

But someone coming in and trying to alter my position as a Catholic priest away from Catholicism? No. That’s just positively repugnant to me. And I think that anyone trying to do the same to any Christian clergy (or non-Christian clergy) is, for that reason, repugnant.

In any event, I will remember you, your wife, and the priest advising you in my prayers.

 

[Jon_S_1]

As a priest, I think it is terribly tragic that the situation has reached this point to begin with. Your marriage could end up in danger of collapse with the way things are unfolding.

Over my decades, I have done the marriage preparation and witnessed marriages where both parties were Catholic, where one party was Catholic and the other was a non-catholic Christian, where one party was Catholic and the other party was of another religion, and finally where one party was Catholic and the other party was of no faith at all.

I have also had every iteration of the above list where the party I identify as Catholic represented someone converting to the Catholic faith after their marriage. Rarely is it that the issue of becoming Catholic creates such a crisis that it need end the marriage, when the matter is handled properly and in a way that is non-threatening to the spouse – and when there is a problem, in my experience, it was because of how the process of becoming Catholic was handled.

I will add this. If, as a priest, someone whom I agreed to see to assist in a life struggle, such as the pending collapse of their marriage, tried to “convert” me or came at me with apologetic material or lure me from my ministry as a priest such as you are contemplating with these reformed clergy…I would react with indignant horror. My response would be quite decisive and utterly unpleasant for that person. Such a thing is just utterly beyond insulting and inappropriate and is a response, frankly, unworthy of the ecumenical age in which we live. In sum, such a person would have been thrown out of my office forthwith and banned from ever receiving another appointment or being able to access the personnel of the parish – with an alert detailing the whole matter sent to the diocesan bishop.

You need to explain to the priest you are meeting with what is the actual situation concerning the state of your marriage and your confrontational approach relative to your wife’s clergy so that he can guide you to a healthier response and, hopefully, help you to salvage your marriage – as well as to offer effective counsel about exploration of your interest in becoming Catholic.

In no sense should you be trying to convert your wife. If she has no interest in investigating Catholicism, that is her prerogative and you should be quite accepting of that. Rather, you should be trying to find a calm and acceptable detente that will allow her to continue to live and practice what she believes and that allows you to do the same. This is the respect of conscience that is to be accorded to every human person, as eloquently described in Vatican II’s Dignitatis Humanae.

If your wife asks you not to speak about Catholicism, then you should respect that. A change of faith represents the introduction a fundamentally destabilizing element to a marriage. Pastorally, it needs to be handled with a maximum of care and caution.

Clearly, the circumstances have proceeded already to a point where your wife feels no longer comfortable even with meeting with the priest merely to have questions answered. That is truly unfortunate.

If she has little or no familiarity with Catholic clergy, everything should have been done to have made this encounter very low key and non-threatening to her. The intensity needs to be dialing back immediately. Hopefully, for everyone concerned, the priest with whom you will now meet alone is sage and experienced in these matters. Presuming he is, perhaps he would even meet with her one-on-one in a circumstance she would find non-alarming in order to assuage her anxieties and concerns, if the problem simply is your decision to explore Catholicism.

This…Do this.

Forget the Protestant pastors…leave them alone. And give your wife peace and lots of prayer. Just like in Rome Sweet Home, Kimberly Hahn had to find her own way.

Worry about respecting, loving and praying for her.

 

[Jon_S_1]

I’d like to point out:

My wife asked me not to pray for her to be catholic. I have respected that request.
I’ve conceided and said our son can be raised in a protestant church and go to a protestant christian school.
I’ve told her she doesn’t have to convert and can remain protestant; I said I’ll still drive them to their church and attend their church services
with them.

This is the train of logic I face: You wanted a big wedding(we had 60 people), I compromised; You wanted to buy a home and move closer to your work; I didn’t and wanted to stay where we lived, I compromised. Now you want to convert to the The Catholic Church, I don’t want you to. I’m not compromising this time. She no longer wants to obey me in this area and she has reported to our pastors how I am still attending mass and had even asked her to meet with the priest.

At this point, I’m fighting just to enter the gate to get into the Church.

Your wife doesn’t “obey you”. You are not her master. I’d encourage you to read Pope Francis’ new encyclical “the joy of love”.

I came from a similar background as you and it sounds like the fundamentalist teaching on marriage had infected your marriage. It did mine too. I am now divorced because I thought, as the evangelical church taught, that I was the boss of my wife.

That’s a lie and I suggest you take about 50 steps back.

Meet with a priest and get clear direction. Don’t worry about abusive Protestant pastors. They have no authority over you. Make sure they are clear on that. They shouldn’t be meddling in your marriage.

But the most important thing is to reconcile with your wife and put her at ease.

She no doubt feels pressured, abandoned, confused, and adrift.

That is not the emotional state for her to be able to make a good decision on religion.

Your journey is yours and hers is hers and the two of you need to respect that about each other.

Find a good priest to help.