Their prayers can do no harm.
Your wife, of course, can seek the counsel of whomever she wishes. That is her prerogative.
My advice to you, on the other hand, would be to disengage from any interaction with them as it does not seem of benefit to anyone at this point; it appears only to be a source of upset and agitation to everyone.
I would not counsel you to stop attending Mass until a later date as that prolongs the suspense. IF you are attending Mass and it becomes more evident to your wife that your interest in Catholicism is not a threat to her or to your marital life, that you impose nothing upon her that alters her practice of her faith…that you attend Mass but it does not disrupt things in the household or the marriage…that may help to ratchet back to some degree the fear and the threat that she seems to be experiencing.
Perhaps she has some irrational fear of what is going to happen. If these poor and deluded people think Catholics worship idols, she may think you are going to cast a spell upon her or otherwise bewitch her.
It is truly unfortunate for all concerned if this is actually a faith community that has not fully entered into the ecumenical movement in which we are blessed to live, here in the 21st century; we are not, after all, in the 16th century with their fears over the salvation of your soul or such myopic thoughts as Catholics worshiping Mary or adoring statues or other ridiculous legends about Catholicism that marked the unenlightened past.
Especially with the post-conciliar liturgy and the Internet, anyone can see and understand instantly – even by looking at their computer in their own home – what is being said and done in the Mass and in our sacramental and extra-liturgical rites. Nothing is said secretly or in an obscure language. It is in the vernacular and said aloud so all may hear and participate.
In any event, you should, however, prefer any advice or counsel given by your own priest since he actually knows you and, I presume, knows this congregation out of which you are coming because of your city/community’s ministerial alliance. This priest’s insights will be the most informed and he is the best placed to offer you sage advice. I hope that meeting went well and resulted in good fruit.
Aye, engaging the pastors further would not be beneficial at the point. I intend to disengage them as much as I can. Disengaging from the community at this point would destabilize things further; So, the priest adviced me to keep attending the service with her for the time being as I focus on loving and prioritizing my wife in my life.
I don’t want to stop going to mass; I have a desire to stop taking communion at the church I currently attend due to growing understanding and convictions about the catholic beliefs concerning the Eucharist. But if I do this, it may destablize things even further.
Don, I appreciate you engaging me in this thread, responding to my posts and reaching out to me. It means a lot.
I do understand their feelings, concerns and fears about my desire to convert to Catholicism.
I know in our day and age, especially with the internet, that such myopic thoughts would not persist—but that is just one side of the coin. With the spread of information, there is also the spread of anti-catholic information. I found such anti-catholic stances to be so compelling that, as the two pastors did tell me, it isn’t what they say but what they do. They see and read and know that catholics say that they don’t worship Mary, saints and statues, but they look at the actions of catholics in such a way that their unsaid and deep-down convictions are solidified into horror and concern for the soul of catholics. I believed that the catholic church has become like Israel that had forsook the ways of the Lord to chase after idols and other sins. The catholic idea of Mary had crept in, starting from perhaps her assumption, which I found was not in the bible, to the position of being equal to God himself, and this veneration over time morphed unknowlingly to the Church into a form of idolatry that was accepted as dogma. Pictures of catholic popes bowing down to statues of Mary and parading statues around reinforced my fears and suspicions. Prayers to Mary were seen as a form of worship, and making images of her was considered a violation of God’s command.
I refused to accept what Catholic’s said as their explanation as a lie and a deceitful appologetic excuse to continue their sinful behaviour. Mary being called the “Co-Reedemtrix” did not sit well with me at all. Mariology was completely repugnant to me and I absolutely abbhored the Orthodox and Catholic doctrines and beliefs concerning it. Protestant books reinforced my suspicion that catholics might be part of the Whore Of Babylon, though out of respect I never accused any catholics of being part of it. I always believed they followed Jesus, but who was I to judge, I thought. I considered it sad and tragic for anyone to be a catholic, and any protestant I knew who converted was a tragedy, I thought. It broke my heart and I wanted to withdraw from such people as they flaunted their love for Mary and icons and saints and so on. It really turned me off and offended me.
Now, I find myself on the other end. I completely understand their concerns and unsaid feelings towards me because I too once thought and felt that way.
I’m currently under the guidance of two different priests(three if I count you as well).
I’m confident that the meeting did bear fruit. I’m just not sure to what extent at this present time.
