Dealing with rude people

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What Is a Christian/Catholic way to deal with rude people? I am having trouble at work with a rude boss. He is polite some of the time, but you just never know when he is going to blow up and yell or say something disrespectful, whether it’s a snide and unnecessary comment or blatantly yelling at me in front of customers. In scriptures Jesus says to turn the other cheek, but I’ve always interpreted this as Him challenging the offending person to try it again. He is reflecting their behaviour back at them in a non-violent and truthful manner by daring them to, say, hit me again or take my shirt too and leave me half naked in the middle of the street. But how would you apply this to an everyday situation? Right now I just end up standing there in silence, cheeks burning and tears in my eyes, which I don’t think reflects the dignity that a strong yet humble Catholic example should.
 
You need the emotional strength coming from some good friends to allow you to handle the situation. These things are complex enough that internet advice from anonymous people won’t particularly help. You need someone you can call and say,“You know what he (assuming your boss is a he) did today?” and will listen for a while and give suggestions and ask questions when needed. And then when he is doing things, you can think you will call your buddy after work. Right after work. It helps.

I have had to deal with all sorts of rude people, including demeaning bosses. The best support is caring friends. But sometimes the best thing to do is to find another job. Sometimes discussing things with HR can help, but sometimes they take his side every time. I have had to discuss things with lawyers at times, when it has gotten especially difficult.

If you cannot find a group at church, perhaps you can ask your pastor to start one. Of course, it could get difficult if your boss walks in to join the group on Dealing With Difficult Bosses…Didn’t know he was a member…Oops…😊. Didn’t know his boss makes yours like like an angel…Poor guy…

Hurt people hurt people, as a pastor of mine used to like to say. Remember he is hurting, too, and try to figure out the best way to love him. Some people are very difficult that way.
 
M1986 said:
What Is a Christian/Catholic way to deal with rude people? I am having trouble at work with a rude boss. He is polite some of the time, but you just never know when he is going to blow up and yell or say something disrespectful, whether it’s a snide and unnecessary comment or blatantly yelling at me in front of customers. In scriptures Jesus says to turn the other cheek, but I’ve always interpreted this as Him challenging the offending person to try it again. He is reflecting their behaviour back at them in a non-violent and truthful manner by daring them to, say, hit me again or take my shirt too and leave me half naked in the middle of the street. But how would you apply this to an everyday situation? Right now I just end up standing there in silence, cheeks burning and tears in my eyes, which I don’t think reflects the dignity that a strong yet humble Catholic example should.
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I really struggle with this as well.

and then when you do point them out, they say things like “oh, I’m old, I can’t help it” or “I’m just like that, I can’t control it” or “I don’t get mad easily, so you must have done something to deserve it” or “well you’re a Christian, you’re supposed to just forgive me” and then demand you act like nothing happened.

but it really hurts to receive insults and get called names and being disrespected. I don’t have any good advice, I also would like to know how to better deal with it
 
An example of turn the other cheek that worked for me. To the best of my ability I followed instructions. I did my job, God is always watching. Lesson I learned, bad people get their just desserts. Keep your nose clean and your conscience. Dont gossip, uplift the downtrodden, rejoice with the joyful, etc. this will make your days tolerable.
 
It really depends on who it is. If it is my supervisor, I just ignore it and let them have their own misery. If it is a customer on my second job, I just say “excuse me” and leave. They have to find someone else at that point.

If it is a co-worker I will usually ignore it, but if they get me on a bad day which is rare, I will let them have it, so to speak, and then I feel remorseful and have to mention it in confession. It just depends. In ALL cases I pray for them. I will even have prayerful discussions with our Lord or our Mother about it, until I work it out. More often then not, things work out for the best somehow.

I had a situation a few years ago, with a co-worker that had minimal authority over me, but the person was a textbook narcissist and was a sociopath. This lasted for a half a year. I fought this person tooth and nail. I let very little go by. It was awful. I suffered quite a bit from this, and I know the other person stressed out about it. It took me a year to get over it, but in the end, I did learn a lot about myself, stuff I had to work on, and it helped me a great deal on my path to becoming more humble.
 
Never retaliate when people
say unkind things about you.
Pay them back with a blessing
and GOD will bless you.

1 Peter 3:9
 
For me it was easier when I realized that the vast majority of rude people are not being rude to ME or to YOU. They were just grumpy rude people, usually due to something that has nothing to do with the person their being rude to at all…didn’t get enough sleep, tired of dealing with the same issue (it’snot you, it’s the issue), something going on in their personal life, upset someone was rude to them, pressures from THEIR boss, or even just their personality. Take nothing personally. I know it’s easier said than done, and yes there are jerks out there that ARE being rude because they want to get under your skin, by by and large it’s usually not anything personal at all, I’ve found.
 
M1986 said:
What Is a Christian/Catholic way to deal with rude people? I am having trouble at work with a rude boss. He is polite some of the time, but you just never know when he is going to blow up and yell or say something disrespectful, whether it’s a snide and unnecessary comment or blatantly yelling at me in front of customers. In scriptures Jesus says to turn the other cheek, but I’ve always interpreted this as Him challenging the offending person to try it again. He is reflecting their behaviour back at them in a non-violent and truthful manner by daring them to, say, hit me again or take my shirt too and leave me half naked in the middle of the street. But how would you apply this to an everyday situation? Right now I just end up standing there in silence, cheeks burning and tears in my eyes, which I don’t think reflects the dignity that a strong yet humble Catholic example should.
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Nobody has a good boss. Most of them are rude.

The thing is that God allowed that person in to your life
for some lesson.

What that lesson is, you won’t know now;
you will know later;

its the bad ppl in life that help us to grow spiritually the most

A saint said that if we bind our personal suffering with
the suffering of Jesus, we can convert more people than
a missionary in a foreign land.👍
 
I worked for someone who cursed at me and yelled at me constantly. Because it was a part time job that paid well (that sounds like an oxymoron) meaning it paid me about twice as much as I could get elsewhere, I stayed. I wished I didn’t need to work, but I did, so I thought why let her drive me off since I have good hours and decent pay. I figured she would quit eventually and she did. She had been my boss for several years, and when she announced she was quitting, I was thrilled.

I couldn’t help but to think at that time that I may as well work for a funeral home. At least the clients didn’t open their mouths.
 
I think all you can do is try to focus on your own behaviour, you cant change another person. God knows that you are trying.
 
I used to make visits to the Blessed Sacrament … knelt before the Tabernacle and said “help” or “HELP”. Or “HELP!!!”

One job was really tough … so I went to Mass every morning, Eucharist Adoration at noon, and visited to say a rosary on my way home. Confession every two weeks after morning Mass. One day on my way home, I paused for five seconds near the door to gawk at a nice car … the driver came out after me and mentioned that the previous owner was a prominent local person … for no reason I looked him up in the phone book and within minutes was admitted to participate in the only Masters Degree program of its kind … and eventually graduated … so you never know …

Pray a lot.

God has Infinite Imagination.
 
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses! I cannot quit the job at this time since it has been very difficult for me to find any job in this town. But I appreciate the insights that you have all offered 🙂
 
M1986 said:
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses! I cannot quit the job at this time since it has been very difficult for me to find any job in this town. But I appreciate the insights that you have all offered 🙂
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I had a similar situation recently, and to end it I had to confront the boss. This was a big deal for me, because I’m not confrontational and I cry easily. I actually wrote down exactly what I wanted to say, practiced it a few times, and then asked if we could talk in her office.

You could try something like this: Bob, it makes me really uncomfortable when you yell at me, especially in front of a customer. Because I would never be disrespectful to you in public I don’t feel that I can respond or explain when you do that, that’s why I asked you to speak with me alone. I would really appreciate it if, when you think I’ve (done a thing), you could let me know in your office/the breakroom/outside.

I was surprised that it worked for me, but my boss actually apologized and it hasn’t happened since. You can do this anytime, not just right after an incident. And write down the date and the response, in case you need to take it to HR later.
 
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