Dealing with the judgmental?

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DarkLight

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I have certain people around that, for lack of a better term, seem to be looking to be scandalized. I have found that these people unfortunately have a tendency to bring out the worst in me. I’m trying to learn to see everyone as worth of love, but somehow this sort of suspicion just infuriates me! I want to defend myself against their suspicions but I realize that’s probably a bad idea. What is the proper reaction to someone like this, and how do I respond with charity without letting them get to me?
 
Hey, Darklight!

I don’t know if you have ever read this quote from Mother Theresa, but it is one of my favorites, and I think it may apply to your situation.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It never was between you and them anyway.”

~Mother Theresa of Calcutta
 
babs57 said:
Hey, Darklight!

I don’t know if you have ever read this quote from Mother Theresa, but it is one of my favorites, and I think it may apply to your situation.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It never was between you and them anyway.”

~Mother Theresa of Calcutta
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Beautiful quote!
Virtues would be relatively useless as marks of character if everyone was kind and compassionate.
 
I recall our parish priest in a sermon telling us: “I met a new member to the church the other day. He said, ‘I’m sorry, Father, but your church is most unfriendly.’ ‘What was your last parish like?’; ‘oh, that was terrible, too.’ ‘And the one before that?’ ‘Oh, that was even worse than this one’…” And the whole congregation burst into belly laughs.😃
 
babs57 said:
Hey, Darklight!

I don’t know if you have ever read this quote from Mother Theresa, but it is one of my favorites, and I think it may apply to your situation.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It never was between you and them anyway.”

~Mother Theresa of Calcutta
Click to expand...
Beautiful. What a way to live our lives. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; courage to change the things I can; wisdom to know the difference. Bogor bless you.
 
Probably a good idea to seriously limit the time you spend with anyone you know who tends to bring out the worst in you. 😉
 
DarkLight said:
I have certain people around that, for lack of a better term, seem to be looking to be scandalized. I have found that these people unfortunately have a tendency to bring out the worst in me. I’m trying to learn to see everyone as worth of love, but somehow this sort of suspicion just infuriates me! I want to defend myself against their suspicions but I realize that’s probably a bad idea. What is the proper reaction to someone like this, and how do I respond with charity without letting them get to me?
Click to expand...
Love Jesus. Get your mind on Him. Remember how Jesus reacted when people He loved were spitting at Him, pulling His beard, whipping Him… etc. He loved these people very much when they were doing it. So when they do this, just remember Him and what He has to go through- even today. I say this because I think you are having to temptation to be too focused on yourself. I don’t mean that in a mean way- you said yourself you thought it was a ‘bad idea’…, just that it would help in these situations to remember Christ instead. What does He want? Give… if one way is to let them fire darts at you, accept it- if it is just suspicion what they say and not the truth, you know these darts won’t ‘stick’ anyway. Share in His sufferings and thank Him. Be at peace!

Factions/dissensions is listed as one of the things of the Flesh (that will lead to corruption) mentioned in New Testament Galatians. When people try and do that to you- create a faction or a dissension- it is just another temptation to overcome and is so by holding onto the Holy Spirit, having a shield of faith. I’m not so good at saying what I think you need, but I just wanted to suggest that you should read Galatians 5. It might help with this situation.

Oh yeah, …and definitely what Mother Theresa said!!! (Thanks babs27 for posting it!)
 
Delaine75 said:
Probably a good idea to seriously limit the time you spend with anyone you know who tends to bring out the worst in you. 😉
Click to expand...
Oh, but if someone brings out the worst in you, you should thank them so that you now know what to change about yourself!
 
I just find that one of the hardest things for me is to have people think badly of me… especially since I grew up thinking “testimony” was so important, and I just find that no matter what I do someone will accuse me of evil. Especially since I’m related to one of these people! If I’m not actually being accused of wrongdoing, it’s “what will people think”?

I always worry that anything I say about God or Christianity will be ignored because of these assumptions. I’m trying to convince my family and old friends that Catholicism is really ok, but I worry that they’ll just point to my supposed “immorality” as proof that it’s evil. I want to be a witness, but with these people around I start feeling like I’d need to stop doing anything but spending my life 24/7 at church to do so!
 
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