Dealing with the Night

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WH1988

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This might sound strange, but I am so unconfortable with this situation that I thought it could be useful to ask for some advice.

Okay, so the problem is: I am quite a confident, optimistic, joyful person during the day. Specially during the morning. However, if, for some reason, I’m left alone during the night (21:00 onwards), I suddenly become depressed and I feel completely alone and forgotten by everybody.

In example, today my dear gf went to the movies with a (female) friend. We didn’t meet today. So, when the night arrived, I just couldn’t stop thinking of her, and how I love her, but then start wondering if she feels the same, etc. etc. etc.

You get the idea.

I try to pray at night. It doesn’t change much, though. I feel better, of course, but it doesn’t solve the problem per si.

Of course, you’ll say: “try to get asleep early and wake up early too”. However, the flow of thoughts during the night doesn’t allow me to fall asleep. I need to be in peace to rest.

So, how to feel less alone? How to overcome this huge psycological problem of mine?
 
Hello, WH.
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  I think there may be some practical things you can try.  Have you considered a roomate?  You'd need a male roomate, of course, because your girlfriend will kill you otherwise.  That way you won't feel so alone in the house.  There will at least be someone else there.

 If this isn't your style, or you don't want the possible hassles a roomate can bring, you can try making yourself busy.  Are there good shows on T.V. you can watch?  Just fix yourself a nice "adult beverage" as my husband's friends like to call it, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.  You are 21, right?  If you're not old enough to drink, a cup of tea or any other beverage will do.  If you don't like T.V., there's always books.  Go to the library.  I make good use of my library, I tell ya.  Nothing's more soothing than sitting up in bed with a good book.  I just finished one and I'm already having withdrawals.   :whacky:   

 The point I'm trying to make is it just sounds to me that you lack a bedtime routine.  Once you get a routine all your own that works for you, you'll be more at peace because you will feel like all the day's loose ends are tied up and the next day can begin.  Plus, this feeling of peace will afford you better sleep.  I know I didn't go into your thoughts of your girlfriend much, but if you want me to, I can in a separate post.  (This one's long enough, eh?)
God Bless you,

Tracy
 
Thank you, Tracy,

I live in Oporto (Portugal, here be dragons), with my parents. I could spend more time with them, but they are always busy at night, watching television or working in the computer (my father manages a selling website, he is always working). I study in the University in Lisbon (300km away), and the good news is that I’m going to have a roomate this year. Let’s see if it works.

I am 19, but in Portugal you are allowed to drink since you are 16.

The Portuguese television is aaaaaaaaaawful, I guarantee you. Anyway, I’ll try to stick to the books. And perhaps study a little bit too.

I lack a bedtime routine, indeed. But I wonder why do I feel so alone and negative and pessimistic at night and I don’t during other parts of the day. Is there any explanation for this?

Pax Christi!
 
WH1988 said:
I lack a bedtime routine, indeed. But I wonder why do I feel so alone and negative and pessimistic at night and I don’t during other parts of the day. Is there any explanation for this?
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Not sure. Could be a medical condition. Might want to contact your doctor about this?
 
I had that for decades.

Then I started praying the Rosary. Talk about miracles!

Even before I fully learned all the prayers or could figure out which mysteries fell on what days—the Rosary took away the worst of my ‘nightime creeps.’

I can still get it, but rarely, and never at the nearly-crippling level I had it before.
 
Hello, WH.
Code: 
  You mentioned feelings of negativity.  Do you have these feelings when you are alone only or when people are around too?  (Let's say you have guests over.)  If you have them when people are around too, I would be more concerned.  Also, how long have you lived on your own?  At 19 and being out and about for the first time ever, that in and of itself is a BIG adjustment.  Just relax and give yourself time to adjust to your brand-new living situation, if this is the case.  

 I know when I first got engaged to my husband, I lived in an apartment by myself.  Everything was fine until I went to bed.  Then I would stare at the ceiling noticing just how very QUIET everything was and how CREEPY that was.  In time, that anxiety passed, however.  I know!  Try this:  Right before you go to sleep, pick up the phone and call your girlfriend.  Talk to her while lying in your bed.  That way, her voice is the last one you hear; you can tell her goodnight and go right to sleep!  In fact, if I remember correctly, this may have been one thing I did to help myself.  See if that'll work for ya.  One surefire reason it wouldn't work is if she isn't a "phone" person and calling her every night like that would annoy her.  But I would say the chances of that being the case are slim to none; it's usually the guys who are not "phone people."  

 Lemme know if this helps.  Have a nice weekend!
Tracy
 
You have depression. Some people just have it at night. You should talk to a doctor.
 
I totally agree with having a bedtime routine. A routine like this will “signal” your body into winding down. And I also agree with above suggestion about reading a book in bed! That almost always does the trick for me. 🙂

And then, like another poster, I’d suggest going to your dr. to talk about your restlessness. If you aren’t getting good sleep at night, then you’re just wrecked for the next day; maybe talk to your dr. about a prescription sleep aid that you can use temporarily. Your dr. can also help you determine if your situation is due to anxiety or depression or something else, and then you might also consider some counseling for that.

Lots of options for you to consider! Best of luck; now get some sleep! ❤️
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
I started praying the Rosary. Talk about miracles!
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Could not agree more! Try the Rosary at night to try to calm yourself. My sister sent me some Sleepy Time Tea. It is non-addictive, herbal tea. I haven’t tried it yet, but she uses it with good results. Don’t be too down on yourself, a lot of people struggle with anxiety, especially at night. There is so much on the internet about it, but I would try the Rosary first to see if you can work through it before going to other means.
 
I know people who have problems when there’s little sunshine for a prolonged time, such as in the winter season. As in you leave for work when it’s still dark and you leave for home when it already is.
 
I get this when my husband works an evening shift. I get illogically terrified and panicky. It helps if someone can come and keep me company, or if I can get out for a while. I suffer from depression, so that might have something to do with it.
 
I only feel this when I’m alone at night. Perhaps I’ll start praying the Rosary more often. 🙂
 
When I suffered from depression and anxiety, it was always worse at night. I would feel anxious and clostraphobic alone in the dark–even with every light in the house on from sundown to sunup, I still would feel miserable. The sensation, at least for me, was one of drowning in the darkness. What made it worse was that I couldn’t pull myself out of that darkness; it was there until dawn, no matter what.

Part of the issue here would probably be a chemical produced by your brain called endorphins, which greatly affect one’s preception of and activities during day and night. One thing that can help keep endorphins at a regular level is excercise, which could be a possible cure.

Hence, in conjunction with the other things mentioned, you should probably try a bedtime routine, exercise, prayer (which does wonders for anxiety), and most importantly see a doctor. Everyone of us can here on this forum can give you advise, but it is still no substitute for the opinion of a Doctor. Even if someone on the forums happens to be one, it is quite difficult to diagnose something over the internet.
 
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