Dealing with ugliness?

  • Thread starter Thread starter YHWH_Christ
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Y

YHWH_Christ

Guest
I was having a great day today until I saw a recent picture of myself… Wow I am ugly… I try to take the advice of the Stoics, that it’s only my internal opinions/judgments, and that true beauty comes from wisdom because me being ugly is out of my control. This does help me a lot with interactions and has helped me be happy even in the face of my ugliness. But sometimes… sometimes I slip out of it and question. Like, why did God make me so ugly? Why specifically me and not any other human person in existence? Why me? Everyone in my family is attractive. But since I was a teen up to my adulthood I have been that one ugly duckling. I know it. No one ever calls me handsome. And it really hurts sometimes… Sorry I just needed a place to rant a little. Does anyone experience what I experience?
 
Last edited:
Yeah but I’m physically unattractive. I don’t even want to be hot or super attractive, just normal looking. Ya know?
 
Last edited:
If you were highly attractive in your society that might be a cross if you wanted to remain pure.

Imagine (I assume you’re male) all the women that would like you and approach you.
 
We can probably frame that in the inverse to be a little less depressing.

Anyway, for what it’s worth, physical appearance is something you do have some control over. Sure, you can’t control it if you’re short, or have a large nose, or ears that stick out, or whtever. But you can make sure that you’re staying physically fit, wearing clothes that fit well, and attending to your hygiene.

I’m not trying to encourage vanity. Just saying that if you’re bothered by your appearance, it’s within your power to make positive changes.
 
YHWH_Christ said:
Yeah but I’m physically unattractive.
Click to expand...
How do you know you’re unattractive? You don’t have to answer that. But you might be suprised. 🤔

You might be attractive to others and not realize it. How often do you tell people you’re attracted to that you are attracted to them? Even when passing them on the street.
 
Last edited:
Just keep doing the right thing for the right reason and you will be pretty spiritually.
 
I’m assuming you are a guy. If so, your looks honestly don’t matter too much. Speaking as a lady, I’ve been attracted to all sorts of conventionally unattractive guys.

Just maintain good hygiene, stay in shape, and you’re good.
 
Guest1 said:
How do you know you’re unattractive? You don’t have to answer that. But you might be suprised. 🤔
Click to expand...
Well, I mean my have a huge head but no chin from the side and my teeth are really messed up and I have terrible dark spots under my eyes. I cannot control those. Also still have some acne even though I’m an extremely hygienic person. I take a shower everyday, wash my hair, brush my teeth, change my pillow sheets, etc. I am not overweight, I am average size. Perhaps being average/skinny is the only good thing about me. My face is absolutely horrid though.
 
YHWH_Christ said:
Well, I mean my have a huge head but no chin from the side and my teeth are really messed up and I have terrible dark spots under my eyes. I cannot control those. Also still have some acne even though I’m an extremely hygienic person. I take a shower everyday, wash my hair, brush my teeth, change my pillow sheets, etc. I am not overweight, I am average size. Perhaps being average/skinny is the only good thing about me. My face is absolutely horrid though.
Click to expand...
You know your face I assume so maybe it’s possible that you see what you don’t like, but to a stranger they notice things that you don’t. They might like the shape of your eyes or their color for example.

If you’re feeling you’re called to marriage as your vocation then possibly God has someone prepared for you out there already.

If you’re a nice guy and religious and a Catholic woman wants to find such a guy to marry and have kids with… she can possibly see past your physical apperance (lets say for example your face was terribly scarred) and like you for your heart.
 
I’ve seen some commercials for a clear retainer-like thing adults can use to fix their teeth. I’m sure a dentist can give you other options.
 
My roommate in college was drop dead gorgeous. She dated a lot and all the guys she dated could have modeled for GQ magazine. The guy she married looked like an even uglier version of Woody Allen and they lived happily ever after.

Plus, remember, looks change as you get older. What seems ugly at 20 can be ruggedly handsome at 40 and cuter than a bugs ear at 60. Don’t sell yourself short.
 
I feel like I’d be failing my partner for not being attractive. I have had one girlfriend in the past. We are still friends today and she is a really great attractive woman herself. But I can’t ever recall being called handsome by her. Whenever she’d list my nice qualities to me in romantic settings she’d only name my personality traits. That’s nice and all, and yeah maybe I can still get a woman even in my ugly state but… I actually just want to look normal for that person and for others around me.
 
I kinda know what that’s like. There’s an aspect of humility here: there has to be people to fill the left side of the beauty bell curve so to speak
 
YHWH_Christ said:
I feel like I’d be failing my partner for not being attractive. I have had one girlfriend in the past. We are still friends today and she is a really great attractive woman herself. But I can’t ever recall being called handsome by her. Whenever she’d list my nice qualities to me in romantic settings she’d only name my personality traits. That’s nice and all, and yeah maybe I can still get a woman even in my ugly state but… I actually just want to look normal for that person and for others around me.
Click to expand...
Your heart could possibly make you attractive. 🙂

If a woman is not after a piggish man and wants a nice catholic guy her heart might swoon for a nice Catholic man who treats her well.

I speak this as a woman.
 
The right person will find you and you are beautiful to God. Looks don’t last anyway
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top