Death and the Fear of it

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Zadeth

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These last few weeks I have been thinking about death a lot, and whilst I am a Catholic and believe in God and accept Jesus as my Saviour, I am often thinking “what if there is nothing?” and I feel this sort of… I don’t know how to describe it - emptiness? inside of me.

No matter what, I always come back to thinking about death and the possibility of there being nothing, and I am terrified and upset. What if I just stop thinking, feeling, existing? I am not at all scientific but take some solace in the ‘matter cannot be destroyed’ sense, as well as in my faith.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on either how to stop thinking about this or how to overwrite the ‘nothingness’ with my belief in God?
 
Until you get a better response, I’m praying for you. I know we are going to go through agony, I think the agony of letting go. After all it’s the only life we have known. But trust in Our Lady and Jesus. They will hold your hands and calm your fears.

Our Father…
Hail Mary…
Glory Be…
 
Have you ever experienced death?

Have you ever experienced birth?

The two are remarkably similar.

When I was pregnant with my first, I did a lot of reading about other people’s experiences. I didn’t want to be vulnerable. Knowing what to expect gave me opinions about how I wanted my birth experience to go. I didn’t want to make it up on the fly. I chose a midwife, a tub to labor in, listened to my Hypnobabies messages for months on end, hung out on pregnancy forums to socialize with other people who had done this before, watched videos, and so on. You don’t want your first experience of birth to be I’m-in-labor-what’s-happening-to-me.

Same thing for death. In our culture, we’re isolated from death. When our first experience of death is our own… it puts you in a very scary, vulnerable situation because you haven’t studied what-to-expect beforehand. Not everyone’s death is cookie-cutter, just like every mother’s birth experience isn’t cookie-cutter. But having that range of experiences, even second or thirdhand, is helpful.

I’ve had the privilege of being present during the deaths of two of my relatives. The first one-- I arrived early in the morning after an 8 hour drive, and she passed a little before 9 pm. I was amazed at how much like childbirth it was. Watching her pass was like watching someone in labor. In a good way.

The second on-- when I got the call the day before that he was doing poorly, I hadn’t realized he was as close to death as he was. I figured it out around 3 pm while reading FB. I packed the suitcases, packed the kids, and was on the road by 6. I prayed, “Please let me be there in time to say thank-you.” I arrived, brought the kids by to kiss him, was able to tell him thank-you… and he passed on about 15 minutes later. He hung on to life about 36 hours longer than people expected him to. There were numerous other little things that were remarkable about his passing, but I don’t think the forums approve of sharing those sorts of personal brushes-with-the-supernatural stories. 😉

You might go check out some nursing forums, some hospice forums. Read about other people’s deaths, the good ones and the bad ones. It will keep you occupied for hours…Even though they don’t come from a Catholic perspective, or even a Christian filter, it’s the sort of thing they deal with every single day… and they’ve had some amazing experiences.
 
When you’re really enjoying something, do you want it to cease and never return? No, you want it to continue forever. It is part of our nature, it is what drives us. We want to be happy and we want it permanently. Yet no one finds its in this world, but only shadows and dim reflections of it. Why would this be, unless there is such a happiness to be enjoyed, in another world?
 
I look with longing for the day Jesus calls me home to be with him.

Life has been a series of tough series of challenges all to get to the point where I can battle to help others only to suffer misunderstanding and persecution.

I am good at helping people but life is wearing me out. If heaven was on the other side I would be happy to call it quits.

But if I stick around it is to serve my wife, my kids, and my clients.

It seams all my life since early childhood I have been targeted by evil, whether human or spiritual. Even though I have a little skill and faith to fight through it, I am real tired.

At this point I feel like I’m done and want to quit. All I would want is a nice little farm in a mountain with a fresh water mountain stream and a spring fed well.

Bk
 
I pray that you will be comforted by the words of our Lord, “Whosoever believe in me shall not perish but have everlasting life.”
I trust in Christ and can’t wait to meet him.
 
Ad_Orientem said:
When you’re really enjoying something, do you want it to cease and never return?
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But that’s just it, our aliveness is extremely enjoyable, and yet it ends, never to return, at least in the bodies we know.

Hence the fear and grief surrounding death.

ICXC NIKA
 
Zadeth said:
These last few weeks I have been thinking about death a lot, and whilst I am a Catholic and believe in God and accept Jesus as my Saviour, I am often thinking “what if there is nothing?” and I feel this sort of… I don’t know how to describe it - emptiness? inside of me.

No matter what, I always come back to thinking about death and the possibility of there being nothing, and I am terrified and upset. What if I just stop thinking, feeling, existing? I am not at all scientific but take some solace in the ‘matter cannot be destroyed’ sense, as well as in my faith.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on either how to stop thinking about this or how to overwrite the ‘nothingness’ with my belief in God?
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Death should be no more worrisome than the fear of going to sleep. If you were not to wake up again you would potentially be none the wiser…

The best help I can offer is to consider how you felt before you were born. Death may not be any different…

It is certainly possible I am wrong. In which case I invite all of you to tease me about it in heaven for as long as you should like…
 
If you identify with the body or mind, it is natural to be afraid of death because that is the end, but if you identify with the soul you will not be afraid because the soul in in eternity and does not die. Good luck with that issue.
 
Zadeth said:
These last few weeks I have been thinking about death a lot, and whilst I am a Catholic and believe in God and accept Jesus as my Saviour, I am often thinking “what if there is nothing?” and I feel this sort of… I don’t know how to describe it - emptiness? inside of me.

No matter what, I always come back to thinking about death and the possibility of there being nothing, and I am terrified and upset. What if I just stop thinking, feeling, existing? I am not at all scientific but take some solace in the ‘matter cannot be destroyed’ sense, as well as in my faith.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on either how to stop thinking about this or how to overwrite the ‘nothingness’ with my belief in God?
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Oh, how I know what you are talking about!!! I go thru the same thing, sometimes it gets bad, I almost get to a point of panic, it just becomes too much, oddly, this seems to happen, like when I wake up in the middle of the night, or when I first wake up in the morning, I feel so vulnerable, its not like that during the day though. Ive lost many hours of sleep over this.

Of course, I dont help it, when I go listening to some crazy Near death experiences, some of those had me terrified, the one about suddenly ‘waking up’ in a black void, where your mind is still the same as when you were alive, but thats all there is, you have no body, just a consciousness in a world of nothing, This almost brought me to tears worrying about this, the fact I know I will die one day and no choice but to face whatever is on the other side is something I dont want to face, sometimes I regret even being born into a ‘situation’ like this.

I think the root cause of all this is…NO ONE really knows what exactly happens, while there are NDEs, there is alot of debate on them too, but when many people start telling of the same experiences, I have to see that for it is, that may the truth, I just hope its not what I can imagine.
 
soma said:
If you identify with the body or mind, it is natural to be afraid of death because that is the end, but if you identify with the soul you will not be afraid because the soul in in eternity and does not die. Good luck with that issue.
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Your username seems at odds with your statements…

ICXC NIKA
 
mikekle said:
Oh, how I know what you are talking about!!! I go thru the same thing, sometimes it gets bad, I almost get to a point of panic, it just becomes too much, oddly, this seems to happen, like when I wake up in the middle of the night, or when I first wake up in the morning, I feel so vulnerable, its not like that during the day though. Ive lost many hours of sleep over this.

Of course, I dont help it, when I go listening to some crazy Near death experiences, some of those had me terrified, the one about suddenly ‘waking up’ in a black void, where your mind is still the same as when you were alive, but thats all there is, you have no body, just a consciousness in a world of nothing, This almost brought me to tears worrying about this, the fact I know I will die one day and no choice but to face whatever is on the other side is something I dont want to face, sometimes I regret even being born into a ‘situation’ like this.

I think the root cause of all this is…NO ONE really knows what exactly happens, while there are NDEs, there is alot of debate on them too, but when many people start telling of the same experiences, I have to see that for it is, that may the truth, I just hope its not what I can imagine.
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That’s the problem with NDE; as glowing as some of the accounts are, there is no **definitive **reason why they could not just be the breath-deprived head struggling to keep alive.

While I would love it if NDEs turned out to be true, they are nothing to put faith in.

ICXC NIKA.
 
soma said:
If you identify with the body or mind, it is natural to be afraid of death because that is the end, but if you identify with the soul you will not be afraid because the soul in in eternity and does not die. Good luck with that issue.
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The prospect of being a “soul” with no body or mind – no limbs, head, eyes, nose, skin or memory – is precisely what is hideous about death.

ICXC NIKA
 
Read about miracles like the ones that occurred at Guadalupe and Fatima.
 
I’m afraid of death, but I would rather cease to exist and be without consciousness rather than suffer eternal torment. The doubts you may be having, the saints have gone through them as well, and I believe it’s only because we’re mere humans (with souls which make us spiritual, of course) The doubts, I feel, are due to our fallen nature. But there is something. Believe me.:)😉
 
As a teenager, I used to feel like you a lot, OP. Now in my late 50s and having lost people whom I loved very dearly, I have to agree that it’s the fear of the unknown. We know how to be human beings - we can’t imagine anything else, and we only have human words and minds to describe what the anything else might be.

Faith is a very strange and wonderful thing. There are billions of people in this world (Catholics, other Christians and people other religions) who are convinced that this life is not all there is. Over the millennia and today, people have believed this so strongly that they have been prepared to die rather than renounce their deep faith. I’m going along with all those billions of people. 🙂

When all’s said and done, I know that my Redeemer liveth.
 
Zadeth said:
These last few weeks I have been thinking about death a lot, and whilst I am a Catholic and believe in God and accept Jesus as my Saviour, I am often thinking “what if there is nothing?” and I feel this sort of… I don’t know how to describe it - emptiness? inside of me.

No matter what, I always come back to thinking about death and the possibility of there being nothing, and I am terrified and upset. What if I just stop thinking, feeling, existing? I am not at all scientific but take some solace in the ‘matter cannot be destroyed’ sense, as well as in my faith.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on either how to stop thinking about this or how to overwrite the ‘nothingness’ with my belief in God?
Click to expand...
Yes, I felt the same. The idea of “falling asleep” and loosing my body, my senses, and my conciousness terrified me. I would also stay awake and lose sleep because of such thoughts, and I even cried several times because of the panic I would experience. It was hell. I assume it could have been depression, but I have never really known what it was. It just went away after hunting me for all of my childhood. Now I strongly believe there is heaven after this (or hell if you choose that). I have learned that out separation from our bodies is temporary; we will resurrect with a glorified body like Christ did during the Final Judgement. It will be healthy and complete, and it will still contain our memories. This, of course, will happen if we go to heaven. If we were to reject our Lord and go to hell we would still get our bodies back but we will suffer eternal sorrow along with them. For now, as you go through this pray A LOT. It will feel useless, but keep praying for God to keep the panic away and strengthen your faith in heaven!
 
Since I bought a cemetery plot last month, I’ve been thinking about this too.
God managed to create me, bring me into the world in one piece, and keep me alive until now, which was actually a pretty good trick involving, I’m sure, small miracles that I have no knowledge of. I can think of several times I could easily have died, but didn’t by his mercy,

I’m sure he’s capable of handling things when it comes time to depart this life. And just like an infant facing birth, I don’t much like the idea of the transition. But like the infant. I have no idea what waits for me, but it will be better than I can even imagine.
I met a woman who died on the operating table, and she told me of her experience. Just a random conversation in a Subway shop. She had a wonderful experience and lost her fear of death, and I believe her.
God has saved us from “the misery of nonexistence,” as St Thomas Aquinas said, and he will go on saving us if we trust him.

.
 
We know how to be human beings - we can’t imagine anything else,
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If it is any consolation, we know that once we have our spiritual bodies (pneumatikon soma), we will again be human beings.

We were never intended to become "something else,"even if our soul goes into a momentary abeyance until we again have a live head.

ICXC NIKA
 
The paradox am I a soul with a body or a body with a soul. My user name is also a paradox, it has physical implications as in a drug and it has spiritual implications meaning Divine nectar.
 
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