Death is still sad

[beenwashed]

My husbands boss was killed the other day in a car wreck. This isn’t my first go around with funerals, and the message always seems to be the same. Lets celebrate their life, and there’s life after death so this is a joyous time since they have gone on to be with God. I suppose I’m struggling with the idea that death is a good thing. It’s still very sad for us here on earth. When my brother was killed 5 years ago, it was devastatingand I still cry about him occasionally. I guess Im struggling with feeling like I’m wrong for beig sad. My brother had two young kids and my husbands boss had two teenage boys. I know everyone dies eventually it just stinks. I’ve been very bummed/down lately thinking about all this. I think about losing my husband and having to raise our two kids alone or vise versa. It really saddens me to think that I could be taken away from my babies. Any advice out there?

 

[OneDayASaint]

I miss my Granddad terribly. Even when I was a little girl I loved him so much that I wanted to die first because I didn’t want to live without him. Then I would think I would want him to die first because I didn’t want to make him sad because I knew he loved me too. I always feared the day. If I don’t get into any accidents or get a life ending illness I will probably have another forty or so years to live. Every now and then I think that it is too long a life to live without him.

Originally I thought about becoming Catholic simply to honor his life and his belief. I ended up evangelizing myself. This wouldn’t have happened while he was alive. He used to go to Church every morning and he told me he prayed for me every day. I wasn’t religious but I thought it was a nice gesture at the time. I like to think he interceded for me in heaven.

So for me, it is reassuring that if I behave myself I’ll see him again and it will be forever. That doesn’t take the sadness away at all, however.

I also had a cat for twenty years. She passed about a year ago. I told my boyfriend I never want to have a pet again because I don’t want to inflict that sadness on myself. He said maybe that’s just part of it, maybe loving is the point because we won’t be here on Earth forever.

I know that now I’m going to come off as macabre but I get really sad thinking about my boyfriend dying. He’s been my best friend for years. He’s been my friend longer than anyone that I’m not related to. But it also makes me appreciate him more. I never leave him on a bad note, I always tell him I love him before he drives away, and not a day goes by that I don’t remind him how wonderful he is.

I think I kind of worry about everyone I care about. I never really hugged family a lot or told them I loved them until my little brother joined the Marines. He served his country and he’s home for good now, fortunately. But he taught me by doing that to make sure you show how much you appreciate the people in your life.

As far as the realities of life when someone you love, especially someone you depend on, is no longer with you - well, I’ve learned the hard way life is always going to throw you curve balls and all you can do is roll with it.

I feel like I haven’t really given you anything of substance to walk away with. If nothing I’ve said helps then I hope you at least know you’re not alone in this.

I’d like to add that I’m never sad for the ones that pass away, because they are going on to a better place. It’s the people that have to live without them that I’m sad for.

 

[vames]

the message always seems to be the same. Lets celebrate their life, and there’s life after death so this is a joyous time since they have gone on to be with God. I suppose I’m struggling with the idea that death is a good thing.

This sounds like a weak try to console the mourning relatives. Nobody knows whether the deceased “have gone on to be with God”, so nobody should make such a claim. And even if it were true, it can’t take away the double reality of loss - the deceased ones could have lived longer and we could have been with them longer. How could death be a good thing? The thought of a happy afterlife may alleviate fear of death, but it can’t take away the sadness of loss. Death could be interpreted as a “joyous time” only by people who consider themselves saints bound for heaven, who despise their earthly life and convince themselves that they can’t wait to “break free” of their bodies.

 

[JerryZ]

My husbands boss was killed the other day in a car wreck. This isn’t my first go around with funerals, and the message always seems to be the same. Lets celebrate their life, and there’s life after death so this is a joyous time since they have gone on to be with God. I suppose I’m struggling with the idea that death is a good thing. It’s still very sad for us here on earth. When my brother was killed 5 years ago, it was devastatingand I still cry about him occasionally. I guess Im struggling with feeling like I’m wrong for beig sad. My brother had two young kids and my husbands boss had two teenage boys. I know everyone dies eventually it just stinks. I’ve been very bummed/down lately thinking about all this. I think about losing my husband and having to raise our two kids alone or vise versa. It really saddens me to think that I could be taken away from my babies. Any advice out there?

It’s OK to miss our friends and relatives that have made the jump ahead of us, indeed we have great consolation and hope in trustiing God will be mercifull with them and take them to His Glory.
Only time can heal those wouds and some take longer than others.
Rejoice in the fact that the Church Saints celebrate the Feeste on the day of the Saint’s death. Not when he was born!
We can and should ask God to give us understanding and peace. And we need to really take Jesus advice and be prepared always for we do not know when it will be our hour lest we be caught unprepared.
I will pray for you.

 

[Skye_Ariel]

Yes death is very sad, even when we know they went to a better place. It’s because we won’t see them again for a long time and we will miss them.