Death of a Kitty

  • Thread starter Thread starter EasterJoy
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
E

EasterJoy

Guest
I have a friend who lost one of her cats to cancer earlier than she and her husband thought they would.

To those who have lost a pet, what sort of gestures from your friends helped? When I was growing up, when you lost a pet it was a bummer, your friends would say they were sorry to hear it, but that was pretty much it. I have no idea what people do these days.
 
Making a donation to an organization that rescues animals is thoughtful. In this case an organization that rescues cats, promotes adoption, etc. I would appreciate a memorial to my local humane society since I support it and my cats are rescues from there.
 
EasterJoy said:
I have a friend who lost one of her cats to cancer earlier than she and her husband thought they would.

To those who have lost a pet, what sort of gestures from your friends helped? When I was growing up, when you lost a pet it was a bummer, your friends would say they were sorry to hear it, but that was pretty much it. I have no idea what people do these days.
Click to expand...
If you have a cat, it might help to have her over to your house a few times so that she can experience some extra kitty love.
 
EasterJoy said:
I have a friend who lost one of her cats to cancer earlier than she and her husband thought they would.

To those who have lost a pet, what sort of gestures from your friends helped? When I was growing up, when you lost a pet it was a bummer, your friends would say they were sorry to hear it, but that was pretty much it. I have no idea what people do these days.
Click to expand...
I think, as in human loss, it is better to say less than more and better to be a good listener and sympathetic ear than to rattle on spouting clichés. That has been my own experience with regard to loss of a pet and loved ones. It is also encouraged in Judaism.
 
I had the same thing happen to me in February. A beloved cat got a fast spreading cancer and I had to put her to sleep to save her from misery. I have lost a lot of previous dearly loved pets also.

A sincere condolence, maybe a sympathy card or small “Thinking of You” token like little flower bouquet, and a donation to a no-kill cat rescue would all be appropriate. Really just the fact that you’re sincerely sorry for the loss goes a long way because so many people are dismissive or outright nasty about deceased pets and it’s hard for those of us who truly love our animal friends.

It’s good to encourage her also to consider taking in another cat who needs a home when and if she is ready. There are so many in need of homes and while a new one does not replace the one that passed, it is nice to be able to give love to another kitty.
 
Let her make the running after you have said how sorry you are. Maybe take her some flowers? A gentle, kind treat for her that has nothing to do with cats.

Please do not suggest another cat. Not yet. For many that is like suggesting a different person to replace. To cat lovers our cats are people.

I was always careful to make sure that when a cat was nearing the last years, I had already another in the house! I have always had more than one for that reason. It does not lessen the loss or grief but it softens a little. I know my limits of deprivation.

Always rescues

My latest is a 3 year old; my two beauties are 12 years old now.

Let time heal. As you would a child
 


After the passing of a couple of our beloved pets I made a study of scripture and church teaching on this and this is what I put together, Perhaps it will help.
Material soul.
Taken from Catholic Answers (Catholic.com)
All living creatures – angels, humans, animals, plants – have souls. However, there are two kinds of souls: spiritual and material. Angels and humans have spiritual souls. Animals and plants have material souls. Something that is spirit is not subject to the decay of change. Thus, angels do not die and human souls survive the separation of body and soul at death. Material things however are subject to change, thus they are subject to decay and death. As animals and plants have material souls, at death their souls cease to exist.
Click to expand...
Whether God will choose to re-create animal and plant souls at the end of time when the material universe is transformed (cf. CCC 1060) is something we do not yet know. However, the Church does not teach that animal and plant souls are “disposable” in the sense that they are of little consequence and can be wasted if humans wish to do so. Animals and plants do not have inherent rights, but humans, because they are appointed by God to be just stewards of nature, have a responsibility to be kind to animals and prudent in using the world’s natural resources. See the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
Quote:
The seventh commandment enjoins respect for the integrity of creation. Animals, like plants and inanimate beings, are by nature destined for the common good of past, present, and future humanity. Use of the mineral, vegetable, and animal resources of the universe cannot be divorced from respect for moral imperatives. Man’s dominion over inanimate and other living beings granted by the Creator is not absolute; it is limited by concern for the quality of life of his neighbor, including generations to come; it requires a religious respect for the integrity of creation (CCC 2415).
Recommended reading:
Click to expand...
What Spirits Are and What They Aren’t by Frank Sheed

My own Scriptural considerations:
  1. Code: 
     Ecclesiastes 3:21 Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down to the earth?
  2. John 11: 25 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,
  3. Luke 20:38 Now he is not God of the dead, but of the living; for all live to him.
  4. 2nd Peter 3:13 But according to his promise we wait for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.
  5. Code: 
    Revelation 21: **1** Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. **2** And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband;
3 and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them;
4 he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.”
5 And he who sat upon the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Also he said, “Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Since we do not know for sure the end of the souls of animals (#1 above) and we know that Christ stated that he is “the resurrection and the life” (#2 above) and since Our Lord stated that all live to God, (#3 above), then we see twice in the New Testament where Christ promises a new Heaven and earth (#s 4 & 5 above) it seems logical that we may comfort ourselves in our loss of our beloved pet friends with a hope that we will see them again since animals cannot sin it seems more likely that God might resurrect them because of the blessing they have been to us in their lives.
Keep in mind that this is not a teaching of the Catholic Church, or anyone else, but nothing more than my own pious theory.
Click to expand...
 
I agree with Meltzer’s comment. Perhaps a little gift…something personalized… a piece of jewelry, a little stone for her garden, a pretty ornament for her Christmas tree.
 
When my friend’s dog died, I sent her wind chimes with the dog’s name etched on it. She appreciated it.

Also, it is nice to send a card. It is also nice just to say you are sorry for their loss.

I don’t recommend telling them to get a new cat at this point. Let the loss of this kitty be the focus for now.

When my dog died, my daughter sent me pictures of her children with my dog. It was very sweet.
 
I wouldn’t even consider mentioning the likelihood of a replacement. She has had cats and lost cats and already has a second cat, anyway, so she definitely would have that covered.

I think the memorial idea is nice and is the kind of thing she’d like. Thanks so much.
 
I should clarify my remark about getting another cat by saying that the vast majority of my friends with animals are involved to some degree with animal rescue, so it’s not so much like “just go get another one” as it is like “this is very sad; perhaps when you are feeling better, saving another cat would be a nice tribute to her”. And most of my friends do go on to rescue another cat from the local fosters or shelters after a suitable grieving period, as they’re all cognizant of the fact that there are many, many cats in need or even in danger. I just took in a new cat myself a few months after my own loss, and was also congratulating a friend who had just done the same.

However, if the person is not a regular animal rescuer, I can see where mentioning the idea of loving another cat might come off as awkward rather than a tribute to the one that passed.
 
I made a meal and brought it over. Sympathy Card and flowers. I listened when the news came that the kitty was not doing well, and listened some more after her death.

Maybe not much but the family appreciated it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top