Debate: Wrong for women to look for husbands at seminary?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Scott_Waddell
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Scott_Waddell

Guest
While talking to a newly ordained priest, he mentioned that he was surprised at the number of women that look for eligible men to marry at seminary. I mentioned this to my wife, who thinks it is wrong because they are stealing men from the priesthood. I took the opposite view. Who can blame them for wanting a good man and not wanting to risk the jerk store on the dating scene? I also thinks it helps the men in seminary discern if they really have a call to the priesthood.

What do you think? 🙂

Scott
 
There could be a number of reasons for why this happens. Some that I can think of:

  1. *]There is a theory that people go after what they cannot have. May they see these men as unattainable, thus a challenge.
    *]Men in seminary are desirable since they are deeply committed to something. Commitment is what they are looking for. Problem with this is that breaking one commitment for another does not show commitment.
    *]They do not want these men in the priesthood since they cannot become priests. I know this is stretching it, but with the radicalism these days, you never know.

    Saying that, my bet in almost all the cases is either 1 or 2.

    PF
 
I’m going to have to say yes, I think it is wrong. During seminary men are going through a discernment process WITH GOD to decide whether or not they should be there. To me it seems along the lines of saying “Oh, you’re discerning the most important aspect of your life, but do you want to take a break and go on a date where I can make the process more difficult for you :)?”

There are those who decide that seminary isn’t right for them, in which case, they enter the “market” again (so to speak). Perhaps these girls should spend time in prayer for God to show them the spouse he intends for them (if they have been called to married life).
God bless,
k
 
geese! I can understand why someone would want a spouse that loves God first, but hey, at least leave them alone while they are discerning this. I agree that they ought to be in prayer themselves.
 
I don’t think it’s necassarily a bad thing. Once a man becomes a priest there is always going to be a temptation from women in the parishes and in the priests personal life. I know at least one priest who left the priesthood and got married.

If this is going to be a problem it might as well happen in the seminary before one recieves the Sacrament of Holy Orders than to wait until they are priests. If you can resist the temptation in the seminary then hopefully they will be able to resist the temptation as a priest.

The seminary is a time of discernment. If the candidate or seminarian if you will, finds out that the married life is for him then that is part of the discernment process.
 
Scott Waddell:
While talking to a newly ordained priest, he mentioned that he was surprised at the number of women that look for eligible men to marry at seminary.
Click to expand...
So are these women wandering the seminary halls or what?
Maybe I’d like to visit this seminary.
 
In the case of a few seminaries, such women would be grievously misguided.
 
Uh, yes it’s wrong. How could it not be?

JimG–maybe you could just wait outside for these women and head them off.😃
 
40.png
vegpotter:
Uh, yes it’s wrong. How could it not be?

JimG–maybe you could just wait outside for these women and head them off.😃
Click to expand...
Good thinking–but I don’t live near a seminary. Maybe if I just threatened to go to seminary it would attract women!
 
A priest is married to the Church. When in seminary, the seminarian is in a sense “dating” the Church- and it’s pretty serious by now. How would a woman feel if another woman started hitting on the guy she was dating and actively trying to break them up so she could date the guy?
 
I think one has to ask, with the shortage of priests, why is not God calling more men to the priesthood? If one thinks about it, I think the only answer they can come up with is that God is calling many but only a few are making it past the other distractions in life.

I think more than a few men who date in the seminary get the point where they say if God wants me to be a priest, why am I falling in love with this woman? Obviously all men, including seminarians, have the inclination and desire and fall in love with a woman. I think it is only logical not to use dating women as a tool to see if God wants you to become a priest.
 
It’s definitely wrong. I once went out with a girl and on the first date she told me she had been to a few retreats (at convents) for women considering being a religious. The last thing I wanted to do was interfere with a calling so I didn’t think it would be a good idea to get involved romantically. Well, we stayed friends (I see her at Mass all the time) and she’ll be entering the convent in less than a year. She says she’s never been more at peace or happier now that she knows for sure what lays ahead. Looking back, if I had gotten into a relationship with her, who knows what would have happened.
 
40.png
vegpotter:
Uh, yes it’s wrong. How could it not be?
Click to expand...
If the seminary is an Eastern Catholic one, there would be no problem.

I would suggest that all women looking for a real good husband who loves the Lord get to know some Eastern Catholic seminarians. They would also be looking for real good wives who love the Lord and would be supportive of his ministry.
 
I have a few friends in various seminaries across the country and each of them is “under obedience” to their spiritual director to NOT be pursuing a romantic relationship with a woman in any way, shape or form. If they feel so strong an attraction to a woman, then they must discern whether or not they should leave the seminary for a time if pursuing it seems to be what God is asking of them. I know seminarians who have done so; some have married and some have returned.

Also, where exactly are these women spending time with the seminarians?? During the summer, when they’re assigned to parishes?? Or in school?

For instance, at SLU, a lot of the seminarians take formation classes with theology majors…is that sort of the situation??
 
40.png
Hesychios:
If the seminary is an Eastern Catholic one, there would be no problem.

I would suggest that all women looking for a real good husband who loves the Lord get to know some Eastern Catholic seminarians. They would also be looking for real good wives who love the Lord and would be supportive of his ministry.
Click to expand...
I hadn’t thought of that. I’m Roman Catholic myself, so I have that bias when I think of married priests.
 
40.png
m134e5:
A priest is married to the Church. When in seminary, the seminarian is in a sense “dating” the Church- and it’s pretty serious by now. How would a woman feel if another woman started hitting on the guy she was dating and actively trying to break them up so she could date the guy?
Click to expand...
I so totally agree here…I find it more offensive that a woman is trying to steal a man away from his love…the church!
 
40.png
Princess_Abby:
For instance, at SLU, a lot of the seminarians take formation classes with theology majors…is that sort of the situation??
Click to expand...
Happy happy joy joy…there is hope for my son to go into the priesthood…this is where he will be going to school in 2 years!!!
 
To this whole concept, all I have to say is:

No. Just, No. When they go to the seminary, knowing they are trying to take away future priests of God and break their celibacy, they become the temptors and servants of the Devil. I believe that they should leave the Seminarians to their studies in peace without the daily temptation which borders on taunting.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top