This is the most frustrating thing to talk to people about. They’re so emotionally invested in the issue that I can’t get a word through before I’m called a bigot and the Lord is called a monster for “homophobia”.
Any tips on how to effectively argue our side?
I actually just had a conversation recently with someone who thought homosexuality was “okay.” I’ve had a lot of conversations on the topic, and it always ends the same way: backed into a corner, the one arguing against Catholic teaching will shut all conversation down with “you believe what you want, and I’ll believe what I want.” As if there’s a way we can
both be right.
However, some of the more fruitful conversations on the topic have included me talking charitably from their view: “look, we’re both after the same thing here. The difference is our definition of “love.” You seem to think that “love” means letting everybody do whatever they please, whatever makes them happy. I see love differently–love for me means that I look out for what is really best for the people I love.”
Then they’ll respond with “how is it ‘love’ to deny somebody something they desire?”
And I’ll say “Did your parents always let you do everything you wanted to do? Or did they say ‘no,’ knowing that denying you that pleasure would be better for you in the longrun? That is why the Church teaches against homosexual acts–because the Church looks out for the eternal welfare of all people, not the temporal happiness, which fades as time passes.”
Of course, that only makes the minority really think about it. I heard a quote once that went: “For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation will do” or something to that effect (actually I think that was somebody’s signature on CAF). We can explain, defend, and protect our faith from attacks and loaded questions about homosexuality and other issues, but the truth is that if someone doesn’t want to believe, they won’t.
But that doesn’t mean we should lose heart. Defending and explaining the Faith not only occasionally converts people’s way of thinking, but it strengthens us in our own convictions. At times, God will send us these tests. If the opponent remains unchanged, at least you will have grown stronger.
Oh, and I should add that although the young man with whom I discussed homosexuality last week remained unmoved in his error, people around us were visibly affected by the Truth that my friend and I spoke in response to his angry questions and erroneous charges against the Church. So it’s always worth it
