Deciding to get help

  • Thread starter Thread starter shondrea
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shondrea said:
My best friend (aka, partner in crime) and I decided our Angels need the therapy as much as we do XD They spend most of their time behind us, telling us we’re being stupid, again, and wondering WHY, God, oh WHY did you give us the clumsy, accident prone ones with too much imagination?!

I’m heading down to get y schedule now, and will call first thing in the morning to make the appt
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Hehehe… I think our Angels (much like our parents) get the last laugh when they eventually watch us have kids. Now I’m the one saying “WHY, God, oh WHY did you give us the clumsy, accident prone ones with too much imagination?!”… I guess I deserve it! 😛 😃

How are you doing this morning?
Did you make that appointment… or do I need to start nagging again? 😃
 
I didn’t call today. Firstly because I was out all day, and secondly, my family is starting in on exactly what I knew they’d start in on

Suck it up, deal with it, you need to just move on, we did. Don’t go, they’re just going to screw you up worse.
 
shondrea said:
Suck it up, deal with it, you need to just move on, we did. Don’t go, they’re just going to screw you up worse.
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PLEASE don’t hesitate. If you happen to run into a therapist who’s not right for you, move on till you find the right one.

If I hadn’t had a good therapist for the past 12 years, I probably would not be alive to write this to you. I am back from severe depression and am a much more positive contributor to my family, my work, and much closer to God.

Praying for you,
  • curl
 
Depression is a condition that definitely needs counseling and treatment. OCD to a lesser extent though I have seen some with OCD be effected quite badly by it. The key is to do whats best for you. Take your family advice into consideration a bit by trying to use that motivation to try to help yourself along. Dont let it stop you from getting treatment but rather use it as motivation to work as hard as you can to get this problem cured or manageable. You will get through this and come out a stronger person for it.
 
Believe me, I know I need to kick my own butt here, but I don’t think “sucking it up and getting over it” is words anyone should live by in times like these.

I have many older siblings, and we all come from a broken home. Mental illness runs in our family, and our upbringing wasn’t the most loving or stable. Several of my older brothers and sisters claim I make too big a deal over this, that they’re ok, why aren’t I? And I subscribed to that beliefe for too long, and I can’t follow it any more. Just because they claim to be dealing doesn’t mean I am. Because I’m not, and i haven’t been, for a long time.
 
shondrea said:
Several of my older brothers and sisters claim I make too big a deal over this, that they’re ok, why aren’t I? And I subscribed to that belief for too long, and I can’t follow it any more.
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👍 Yay, shondrea!
 
their advice is all fear-based. it sounds like a life sentence in a self-imposed prison cell.

reject it.

people who are healthy do NOT belittle other people’s suffering. people who are healthy want others to be healthy too.

pray and make the call. then follow up by going to the appointment.

we want you to feel better, be happier, make more positive choices, engage in more positive actions. we want you to be closer to God, know yourself more, trust God more, and learn through HIM to trust yourself more. a good counselor can help you learn this.

doesn’t that advice sound so like it promises so much more FREEDOM than “suck it up. get over it”…?
 
Shondrea… just wanted to bump this thread to check on how you’re doing… ???

Hope you had a blessed Easter!!!
 
I…still haven’t set up my appt. Things are just getting more and more tumultuous
 
Mental illness runs in our family, and our upbringing wasn’t the most loving or stable. Several of my older brothers and sisters claim I make too big a deal over this, that they’re ok, why aren’t I? And I subscribed to that beliefe for too long, and I can’t follow it any more. Just because they claim to be dealing doesn’t mean I am. Because I’m not, and i haven’t been, for a long time.
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Shondrea, sweetie, you did not have the same family they did. Depending on where you fall in the birth order, you had a completely different set of parents with different focuses than they did. When problems occurred your siblings were older. You were hit at a different developmental stage than they were. THEY cannot be the ones to tell you what kind of deal to make over it.

Pretend your family history is a car. And your siblings walk out in front of it. The older ones get knee injuries. Or stomach and rib cage injuries. It hit you in the head. Or maybe it ran over you completely. Or maybe it left you in the dust.

It will take you a different kind of healing to get over whatever issues you encountered with them. As they grew up, they affected your parents too, which in turn affected how your parents interacted with you.

Now, imagine sitting down and finally being able to be honest with someone about your family history. And your history. And your emotions. They don’t laugh. They don’t belittle you. They don’t tell you to get over it. They listen. They empathize. They tell you your issues aren’t your imagination. They help you see where you might have adopted bad coping mechanisms from your family and role models. They help you see which family inheritances are toxic and which are to be thrown out and which are worth hanging onto. They help you see which behaviors are helpful and unhelpful. Imagine talking to someone who actually has something helpful to say to you. And you walk out of the office feeling a little relieved, a little lighter. A little stronger.

Go, please, give yourself that gift. Now. You deserve it.
:o
 
Thank you guys, I apprecaite it. It’s just…it’s so hard to be able to admit that something’s wrong when everyone is telling you you’re lying and making a big deal out of nothing. I just feel like I’m going to get in there and pay a crudload of money to be told, essentially, there’s nothing wrong here, this is normal, quit thinking what happened to you in anything remarkable
 
shondrea said:
Thank you guys, I appreciate it. It’s just…it’s so hard to be able to admit that something’s wrong when everyone is telling you you’re lying and making a big deal out of nothing. I just feel like I’m going to get in there and pay a crudload of money to be told, essentially, there’s nothing wrong here, this is normal, quit thinking what happened to you in anything remarkable
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You don’t need their permission to get some personal advice from a professional.
You don’t need their agreement to get some personal advice from a professional.
You don’t even need their advice on whether to get personal advice from a professional.

Just do it!
 
If it is a problem to you, a professional will treat it as a legitimate problem and help you understand why it’s affecting you and how to change your own thought or behavioral patterns to make it less a problem to you. Do not think a professional will tell you your problems are not legitimate. IF they are legitimate to you, they’re real.
 
I guess I’m just scared that it’s not gonna do any good. Everyone keeps saying all they’re gonna do is put me on pills and send me on my way
 
shondrea said:
I guess I’m just scared that it’s not gonna do any good. Everyone keeps saying all they’re gonna do is put me on pills and send me on my way
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The medications don’t work like that… they don’t just “make you happy” and “cover up the bad thoughts”… they chemically balance a system that isn’t functioning properly. They help you to logically work through your thoughts and feelings.
If your doctor *really *treats you like that, then find a counselor who can help alongside the medication (if that’s what your doctor decides to employ)…

But don’t be afraid to ask for help! :o
Saying “it’s not gonna do any good” sounds so hopeless. 😦
HAVE HOPE! 🙂
There ARE things that can help!!! You don’t have to live like this!

You also don’t need to share all of your personal issues with your older siblings. 😉 Don’t let them influence you in a way that doesn’t bring you peace.

Peace… and have hope! 🙂
 
Some doctors don’t put you on meds. I’ve been to several (carted there by my xh at the time to find someone to agree I was crazy. They never came to that conclusion.) and they never suggested I needed to be on meds. They told me my issues were real and gave advice on how to handle the garbage life was throwing at me.
 
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