Decieving the Parish for a Subsidy

[JillianRose]

Hello-

The last three weeks in Church I has seen a family of four that also attend our Catholic School, turn in their envelopes and 4 others. When the plate was passed to us, I saw that they were for 4 other families in our Parish. I watched them do this for 3 weeks. See our school is very strict with us fulfilling our Catholic obligations. I am thinking they do it to keep up with the school subsidy. If they don’t tuition goes up by 3,000 dollars. I really still can not believe this. What do I do? I want to MMOB but it bugs me. What is the moral thing to do. I am new at this church and do not want to get “black listed” or be a bell ringer…

 

[april32010]

trying to be charitable and as you put it,MMOB.i would ask the pastor,because i can’t see anyl egitmate reason to do that.maybe the 3 families go on vacation together.

 

[atheistgirl]

Hello-

The last three weeks in Church I has seen a family of four that also attend our Catholic School, turn in their envelopes and 4 others. When the plate was passed to us, I saw that they were for 4 other families in our Parish. I watched them do this for 3 weeks. See our school is very strict with us fulfilling our Catholic obligations. I am thinking they do it to keep up with the school subsidy. If they don’t tuition goes up by 3,000 dollars. I really still can not believe this. What do I do? I want to MMOB but it bugs me. What is the moral thing to do. I am new at this church and do not want to get “black listed” or be a bell ringer…

Well so much for being charitable and not giving scandal

How do you know, as per your title, these people are actually deceiving the parish?

If it bothers you so much go right on up and ask them.

From what you’ve said, you seem to be sitting near them every week, because you’ve observed them do this with the envelopes for four weeks now, so just ask them out straight why they’re putting in other peoples envelopes.

Do you hold the basket and examine the contents when it comes to you?

Do you know these people are not on vacation for a month and wanted to make sure their contribution reached the church on a weekly basis while they’re away?

Do you know there’s not a serious illness or incident that took place, involving these families, that prevents them from attending that Church right now, but they still want their envelopes handed in?

Interesting that the OP contains the least charitable version of what might be happening - they’re trying to deceive the Parish.

If you are genuinely concerned, or bothered, go to this family, tell them you’ve been watching them put other peoples envelopes in the basket for the past four weeks (and watch their reaction when they realize you’re spying on them!) and ask them directly what they’re playing at.

You’ll have your answer then.

Sarah x

 

[yukonbrad]

How do you know some deception is going on? Often I have brought my neighbor’s envelope when they are unable to attend (he is an RCMP officer and often works during mass times, his wife has been seriously ill for some time and it is difficult at times for her to attend not to mention carring for 2 young children - 1 and 3).

 

[maryjk]

Gosh, I wonder what people around me think. I never put an envelope in the basket.

Now, I use our direct debit option. Before, since I work for the parish, I would take my envelope directly to the office.

People must think I never give anything.

 

[yukonbrad]

Gosh, I wonder what people around me think. I never put an envelope in the basket.

Now, I use our direct debit option. Before, since I work for the parish, I would take my envelope directly to the office.

People must think I never give anything.

Wow direct debit - we are getting advanced!

 

[thequeen]

I don’t know what the issue is lots of people have someone else drop their offering envelope into the collection plate for whatever reason.

 

[JillianRose]

I do direct deposit also, they want the envelopes for attendence purpose. The reason I think this, is because I heard other parishioners talk about doing this is the past. They said they would take turns, bringing each others envelop so they did not have to go to church every week. They have to prove their attendance, and want the school discount, they hated going to church every week. Thats why I assumed. I don’t know them so I should MMOB.

 

[Saber_Mom]

My kids go to a Catholic school as well. We are also required to go to weekly Mass, but no “attendance” is taken.

During the summer it’s rare for us to make it to our parish every weekend. We are at Mass every weekend, but it may be downstate when visiting family or wherever we are during vacation.

I had an acquaintance of mine say to me a few weeks ago that he was happy that I was going to Mass again. I was kind of shocked, because we are at Mass every weekend. Last year I became very ill and switched the times of when I went to Mass depending on how I felt, so even though I went to Mass every weekend, HE thought I wasn’t going to Mass because he didn’t see me at the Mass I normally went to. Make sense? To make matters worse, we are a parish of three churches, so I wasn’t even going to my normal church all of the time (I went to Mass when I felt well, but it always happened every weekend, just not at the same church).

I’m thankful our school doesn’t take attendance like that. I can assure you though, if the school asks the kids of those families if they go to church, the school will know. Young children, at least in my experience, don’t lie about things like that.

Editing to add: I find it very sad that parents who pay the extra money to send their kids to a Catholic school don’t follow the basic tenents (sp?) of their faith.

 

[maryjk]

I do direct deposit also, they want the envelopes for attendance purpose. The reason I think this, is because I heard other parishioners talk about doing this is the past. They said they would take turns, bringing each others envelop so they did not have to go to church every week. They have to prove their attendance, and want the school discount, they hated going to church every week. That’s why I assumed. I don’t know them so I should MMOB.

So many things could be going on, but you seemed to have assumed the worst. That they are gaming the system.

If you see a crime happening, you should report it. If you see someone doing something wrong, you should, if it won’t cause harm to you, confront them.

But if you see something that you *think might *be wrong, well, you just don’t have enough information.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Hello-

The last three weeks in Church I has seen a family of four that also attend our Catholic School, turn in their envelopes and 4 others. When the plate was passed to us, I saw that they were for 4 other families in our Parish. I watched them do this for 3 weeks. See our school is very strict with us fulfilling our Catholic obligations. I am thinking they do it to keep up with the school subsidy. If they don’t tuition goes up by 3,000 dollars. I really still can not believe this. What do I do? I want to MMOB but it bugs me. What is the moral thing to do. I am new at this church and do not want to get “black listed” or be a bell ringer…

I don’t think I understand the problem. I also don’t understand how you saw all those envelopes for that many families as the basket was being passed?

 

[SwizzleStick]

I do direct deposit also, they want the envelopes for attendence purpose. The reason I think this, is because I heard other parishioners talk about doing this is the past. They said they would take turns, bringing each others envelop so they did not have to go to church every week. They have to prove their attendance, and want the school discount, they hated going to church every week. Thats why I assumed. I don’t know them so I should MMOB.

Ah, I see now. Our school/parish does not do anything like this, we do not have proving of attendance and there are no discounts. Everyone pays the same amount unless they have financial need and have other arrangements, which is a confidential matter.

So, I think you might just let it go. Or, if it still bothers you so much that you can’t let it go , maybe in a general way, mention at a meeting (PTO, MC, FC, whatever meeting) with the pastor and maybe principle present that an envelope in the basket doesn’t actually prove attendance in any way. For example, hubby and I go to Mass always, but we only write one check a month for the entire 4-5 Sundays for that month. That is less hassle for us, fewer checks to write, etc. You could use my example to make your point and then you could go the other way and give your example, that one family could put in several envelopes for several families.

If the pastor and principle don’t see that as a problem, I don’t think there is anything else you can do except pray for your school and chuch in a general way because you don’t really know what is going on with all those families.

 

[JerBear_Meaux]

Hello-

The last three weeks in Church I has seen a family of four that also attend our Catholic School, turn in their envelopes and 4 others. When the plate was passed to us, I saw that they were for 4 other families in our Parish. I watched them do this for 3 weeks. See our school is very strict with us fulfilling our Catholic obligations. I am thinking they do it to keep up with the school subsidy. If they don’t tuition goes up by 3,000 dollars. I really still can not believe this. What do I do? I want to MMOB but it bugs me. What is the moral thing to do. I am new at this church and do not want to get “black listed” or be a bell ringer…

I would probably ask if they drop in the collection other peoples tithe to get a discount to the catholic school, they should respond without getting defensive see if they are lying
you should also be willing to talk to the priest or the head of the catholic school about your concerns.