Deeply troubled relationship with father, and mom. It destroys me daily with guilt and self hatred

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LuciaPacifici

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Ok so my dad is the main problem. He was abusive. He’s in prison for unrelated thing (white collar) and gets out soonish.

He is still creepy with me at times. He’s also helped me I admit although it sucks.

I am the only family that talks to him and he has only a couple friends left. They (friends) do not know about the abuse. Family does.

Every day I feel guilty as hell at idea of cutting him off again.
Didn’t help he told me he was in solitary and suicidal. Like that’s a threat, if I leave m

But he still is CREEPY with me. And I’m AFRAID for when he is out that he will stalk me, attack me, try to be freaking weird. He won’t be in my state and I have no plans to see him we only talked bc I felt safe bc he is locked up. I am Not telling him that I’m getting a new address soon.

I hate my life. I just wish that I had a nice family.

My mom is someone I need right now but she has straight up been creepy once or twice since we got in touch. She is not as bad although still very emotionally abusive at times. I love my parents though. Also she is being better to me. Was really good to me when I was sick and also jobless.

She also hates church teaching is super pro sex pro abortion.

It’s SO confusing bc they give awesome advice! People like to think abuse is black and white but it’s not. Sometimes they are there for me and others are not.

Sooo. And both sides of my family never accepted me bc of their divorce and they hate me for taking to my dad and try to make me choose.

I’m so tired. I just want peace esp about my father. I either feel wrack w guilt and scared or hate myself for talking to him. I’m so tired.
 
Praying for your situation … in difficult times this is what I pray.

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

– St. Teresa of Avila

I have prayed to our Lady for you … try to pray the rosary … our Lady is great comfort.
 
You will only find peace when you can forgive your mother and father the hurt they have caused you. If you can forgive them, you will also come to understand how you can be forgiven too.

There is a wonderful hymn by Graham Kendrick, we met him some years ago, and we sung the hymn with him. The first time he said, think of those you love and care for as you sing. Then he said, now think of all those you need to forgive, and as you sing, keep their names in your heart, we sang it several times more.

Now may the peace of the Lord be with you, be with you

May the Lord bless you
May the Lord keep you
And may God’s face shine upon you always
And give you peace

You can hear it being sung by Graham Kendrick here… youtube.com/watch?v=7dTmdu_8yMM

Blessings

Eric
 
Blessings to you and yours. May you all be filled with loving kindness. May you all be well. May you all be peaceful and at ease. May you all be happy.
 
Eric_Hyom said:
You will only find peace when you can forgive your mother and father the hurt they have caused you. If you can forgive them, you will also come to understand how you can be forgiven too.

There is a wonderful hymn by Graham Kendrick, we met him some years ago, and we sung the hymn with him. The first time he said, think of those you love and care for as you sing. Then he said, now think of all those you need to forgive, and as you sing, keep their names in your heart, we sang it several times more.

Now may the peace of the Lord be with you, be with you

May the Lord bless you
May the Lord keep you
And may God’s face shine upon you always
And give you peace

You can hear it being sung by Graham Kendrick here… youtube.com/watch?v=7dTmdu_8yMM

Blessings

Eric
Click to expand...
Please don’t make assumptions about me. I have forgiven them over and over.

What I am referring to right now are legitimate concerns about boundaries and if they are safe, especially my dad.

If you know someone can be dangerous you have to decide exactly how much you let them into your life to be prudent.

I love my parents but hate the bad they have done especially to my siblings.

When St. Dymphna ran away from her dad, it wasn’t unforgiveness, it was prudence

Thank you for your prayers.
 
LuciaPacifici said:
Ok so my dad is the main problem. He was abusive. He’s in prison for unrelated thing (white collar) and gets out soonish.

He is still creepy with me at times. He’s also helped me I admit although it sucks.

I am the only family that talks to him and he has only a couple friends left. They (friends) do not know about the abuse. Family does.

Every day I feel guilty as hell at idea of cutting him off again.
Didn’t help he told me he was in solitary and suicidal. Like that’s a threat, if I leave m

But he still is CREEPY with me. And I’m AFRAID for when he is out that he will stalk me, attack me, try to be freaking weird. He won’t be in my state and I have no plans to see him we only talked bc I felt safe bc he is locked up. I am Not telling him that I’m getting a new address soon.

I hate my life. I just wish that I had a nice family.

My mom is someone I need right now but she has straight up been creepy once or twice since we got in touch. She is not as bad although still very emotionally abusive at times. I love my parents though. Also she is being better to me. Was really good to me when I was sick and also jobless.

She also hates church teaching is super pro sex pro abortion.

It’s SO confusing bc they give awesome advice! People like to think abuse is black and white but it’s not. Sometimes they are there for me and others are not.

Sooo. And both sides of my family never accepted me bc of their divorce and they hate me for taking to my dad and try to make me choose.

I’m so tired. I just want peace esp about my father. I either feel wrack w guilt and scared or hate myself for talking to him. I’m so tired.
Click to expand...
Will pray for you. There is nothing wrong with keeping a distance - as much as you need to maintain sanity. I’d recommend it. Good advice or not, if it’s abusive in your mind - you should definitely speak to a professional - it’s best to keep apart for everyone’s well being.
 
SyroMalankara said:
Will pray for you. There is nothing wrong with keeping a distance - as much as you need to maintain sanity. I’d recommend it. Good advice or not, if it’s abusive in your mind - you should definitely speak to a professional - it’s best to keep apart for everyone’s well being.
Click to expand...
Thank you. I’m scared that I don’t know how to set a boundary. I constant guilt trips that I’m his only family left and freaks out if I don’t write for two days. My stepmom apparently called me his other wife it makes me sick to think he expects a close relationship emotionally sick like that.

What might finally help me is realizing he WASTED years of my life forcing me to focus on his problems. Now I’m behind on career experience and dating. Yeah so.
 
LuciaPacifici said:
Thank you. I’m scared that I don’t know how to set a boundary. I constant guilt trips that I’m his only family left and freaks out if I don’t write for two days. My stepmom apparently called me his other wife it makes me sick to think he expects a close relationship emotionally sick like that.

What might finally help me is realizing he WASTED years of my life forcing me to focus on his problems. Now I’m behind on career experience and dating. Yeah so.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you need someone who can be with you and talk about it all. If you need to talk you can PM to me and I’ll talk with you. Wish I could be of more help. So, I’m praying for you, too. What a rough life you have already had!

Oh Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, dwelling pure and holy, cover my soul with your maternal protection. So that being faithful to the voice of Jesus, it may obey His love and respond to His Divine Will.
I wish oh my Mother, to keep unceasingly before me, Your Co-Redemption in order to live intimately with Your Heart, which is so totally united to the Heart of Your Divine Son. Fasten me to this Heart by your own virtues and sorrows and protect me always, Amen.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular LuciaPacifici, and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

†

Dear Jesus,

I humbly implore you to grant your special graces to our family. May our home be the shrine of peace, purity, love, labor and faith. I beg you, dear Jesus, to protect and bless all of us, absent and present, living and dead.

O Mary,

Loving Mother of Jesus, and our Mother, pray to Jesus for our family, for all the families of the world, to guard the cradle of the newborn, the schools of the young and their vocations.

Blessed Saint Joseph,

holy guardian of Jesus and Mary, assist us by your prayers in all necessities of life. Ask of Jesus that special grace which he granted to you, to watch over our home at the pillow of the sick and the dying, so that with Mary and with you, Heaven may find our family unbroken in the sacred Heart of Jesus.

Amen.

†
 
:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
***Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Amen. †

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the Fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen. †***
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular LuciaPacifici, and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

†

Dear Jesus,

I humbly implore you to grant your special graces to our family. May our home be the shrine of peace, purity, love, labor and faith. I beg you, dear Jesus, to protect and bless all of us, absent and present, living and dead.

O Mary,

Loving Mother of Jesus, and our Mother, pray to Jesus for our family, for all the families of the world, to guard the cradle of the newborn, the schools of the young and their vocations.

Blessed Saint Joseph,

holy guardian of Jesus and Mary, assist us by your prayers in all necessities of life. Ask of Jesus that special grace which he granted to you, to watch over our home at the pillow of the sick and the dying, so that with Mary and with you, Heaven may find our family unbroken in the sacred Heart of Jesus.

Amen.

†
 
Divine Mercy Litany.

Divine Mercy, gushing forth from the bosom of the Father, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, greatest attribute of God, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, incomprehensible mystery, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, fountain gushing forth from the mystery of the Most Blessed Trinity, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, unfathomed by any intellect, human or angelic, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, from which wells forth all life and happiness, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, better than the heavens, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, source of miracles and wonders, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, encompassing the whole universe, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, descending to earth in the Person of the Incarnate Word, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, which flowed out from the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, enclosed in the Heart of Jesus for us, and especially for sinners, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in the institution of the Sacred Host, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in the founding of the Holy Church, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in our justification through Jesus Christ, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, accompanying us through our whole life, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, embracing us especially at the hour of death, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, endowing us with immortal life, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, accompanying us every moment of our life, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, shielding us from the fire of hell, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in the conversion of hardened sinners, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, astonishment for Angels, incomprehensible to Saints, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in all the mysteries of God, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, lifting us out of every misery, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, source of our happiness and joy, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in calling us forth from nothingness to existence, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, embracing all the works of His hands, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, crown of all God’s handiwork, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, in which we are all immersed, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, sweet relief for anguished hearts, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, only hope of despairing souls, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, repose of hearts, peace amidst fear, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, delight and ecstasy of holy souls, I trust in You
Divine Mercy, inspiring hope against all hope, I trust in You

Prayer:
Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.
 
PRAYER TO THE SACRED HEART

Oh Lord Jesus Christ, to Your most Sacred Heart I confide this intention. Only look upon me, then do what Your love inspires. Let Your Sacred Heart decide. I count on You. I trust in You. I throw myself on Your mercy. Lord Jesus, You will not fail me.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in You. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I believe in Your love for me. Sacred Heart of Jesus, Your kingdom come. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I have asked You for many favors, but I earnestly implore this one. Take it, place it in Your open Heart.

When the Eternal Father looks upon it, He will see it covered with Your Precious Blood. It will be no longer my prayer, but Yours, Jesus. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in You. Let me not be disappointed. Amen.
 
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