Defending reputation

[vesnianka]

My brother-in-law had left my sister earlier this year and over the past weekend, he got civilly married to his mistress. We’re finding out that his mistress’ best friend (who is married to my brother-in-law’s brother) is now spreading rumours that my sister left him. Being in a tight community, this could have an impact on their kids.

My parents are so livid about this, that they got a hold of their “wedding” picture and want to publish it somehow in the wedding announcements of the community newspaper. I keep saying this is not the way to handle this situation. It’s escalating and spreading scandal, it causes additional damage to their reputation, etc. It’s just plain wrong. They say it’s right, because they’re publishing the truth. But, even saying the truth, is still gossip, no? If they want to straighten out the rumours, this is not the way to go, but to send a press release or whatever. Unfortunately, due to physical issues, it would be exceedingly difficult to meet with this person who is spreading the rumours and confront them, since they live in a different city. So, this cannot be an option.

What does Canon Law say about defending one’s reputation (my sister’s)?

 

[Newbie2]

The assumption is that one can “straighten out” such rumors, which quite often is not the case. As far as canon law goes, I don’t believe such a thing is addressed.

But we can use certain principles to guide us. Scripture tells us time after time the ‘bad guys’ appear to get away with things in this life. That would seem to be the case.

I understand the parents frustration, but what would they publish in the paper? Whatever they’d publish, if the paper would even publish it, would sound like a “he said, she said” family spat.

Perhaps the best way to handle this would be for them to write a letter to the (former) son-in-law and appeal to his sense of fairness to the kids. If he’s not willing to intervene, there’s not a whole lot else one can do except deal with the situation i.e. individual conversations as they come up.

Most people are smarter than we give them credit; they can probably figure out who left who.

 

[kage_ar]

Look at Christ, watch “The Passion of the Christ”. Christ was accused of all manner of things, yet, He opened not His mouth.

We are called to imitate HIM.

We are called to love, to forgive.

Matthew Chapter 5

38* "You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39* But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; 40 and if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; 41 and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you. 43* "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48* You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

1 Cor 13

4 Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; 5* it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. 7* Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

[StrawberryJam]

Revenge is mine sayeth the Lord?

 

[Christy_Beth]

There is still a time to stand up and speak the truth. Just be careful who you talk to. Try to contact those people who are most supportive and make sure they know the facts. The more people on the side of truth the better.