Defense against cohabitation

[Redratfish]

I know that cohabitation is wrong,it causes scandal, gives the implication that a couple is not being chaste, and I know statistically that it does not improve the chance of a happy marriage (meaning the same rate of divorce). However, I am not able to carry around a list of facts of every single thing I will need to defend my beliefs on.

How am I to respond to people claiming that it is good because you see how much of the person you are considering marrying that you can stand, and see if any problems arise before the marriage?

Thanks in advance!

 

[twoangels]

I know that cohabitation is wrong,it causes scandal, gives the implication that a couple is not being chaste, and I know statistically that it does not improve the chance of a happy marriage (meaning the same rate of divorce). However, I am not able to carry around a list of facts of every single thing I will need to defend my beliefs on.

How am I to respond to people claiming that it is good because you see how much of the person you are considering marrying that you can stand, and see if any problems arise before the marriage?

Thanks in advance!

Are you trying to condemn them for their actions or defend your own moral choice not to cohabitate before marriage? If it is the later, than keep it simple. “We don’t believe in cohabitation before marriage.” If people than ask you to defend your decision not to cohabitate, you can just say something like “I believe a successful marriage is based primarily on the character of the individuals involved and on their mutual commitment to the institution of marriage. I’m sure there will be plenty of days where I will feel I can’t stand my husband. That’s just a part of marriage. But I know enough about him to not fear that he will be abusive and grossly mistreat me. Overall in marrying him, I accept him as he is, flaws and all regardless of what temporary feelings I have during the good and bad times of our marriage. I mean, really, if I’m cohabitating, exactly what is the limit of ‘I can’t stand him’ days that would tell me I need to get out. Whose to say that even if I didn’t reach that numeric limit before am married that I wouldn’t after I were married? At some point, I have to just take the plunge.”