Definition and role of helpmate

[gardenswithkids]

I’m looking for responses from those with Biblical world views on the role of wives. Going back to the beginning on the creation of woman, sometimes Genesis 2:20 translates helper as “helpmate”. What is the actual word used in the original language of the Bible, and what are the implications, (if any), of that word choice? What do you think a “helper” or “helpmate” should do?

Genesis 2:20-23
*20The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. *
*21So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken.” 24Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. *

 

[Liberian]

Gardens With Kids,

The Hebrew of that part of the verse is

e’esheh- (aleph-ayin-shin-he followed by a hyphen)
lo (lamedh-vav)
ezer (ayin-zayin-resh)
k’negdo (kaph-nun-gimel-daleth-vav)

which is rendered literally in English as …

I will make
(to or for) him
(a) helper
corresponding to him

The “corresponding to him” is a bit fuzzy; the kaph is a prefix whose meaning I never was able to hammer down in Hebrew class, the nun-gimel-daleth is the root of the word and means “front part, before, in the presence of, in sight of, over against (as in “towards”),” and the vav is a suffix meaning “him.”

The part you are interested in is “ezer,” which does indeed mean “helper.” It is also a proper name (as in Ezer Weizman, Israeli president) and is related to the verb “la’azor,” to help.

I hope this “'azar” (“helped”) you.

• Liberian

 

[gardenswithkids]

The part you are interested in is “ezer,” which does indeed mean “helper.” It is also a proper name (as in Ezer Weizman, Israeli president) and is related to the verb “la’azor,” to help.

I hope this “'azar” (“helped”) you.

• Liberian

Thank you! That "azar"ed. I hoped someone with knowledge of the original language would be capable of expanding the text like that.

Now for the second part of my question: help him do what? Does that word “ezer” have any other inferences? (In English, people sometimes refer to hired servants as “the help”, but a wife’s help is certainly beyond that.) What constitutes the help that a wife should provide for her husband? I realize that spouses should help each other get to heaven, but at the time of the creation in Genesis they already lived in paradise.

I posted this question under scripture (rather than family life) because I seek the assistance of understanding scripture in answering this question. I wonder if I fully grasp my role as “helper” to my husband.

 

[Todd_Easton]

Now for the second part of my question: help him do what?

From the context, it appears to me, that woman was to help the man till and keep (tend) the garden of Eden, as per Genesis 2:15.

 

[gardenswithkids]

From the context, it appears to me, that woman was to help the man till and keep (tend) the garden of Eden, as per Genesis 2:15.

So all I’m suppose to do as a wife is help tend the garden? I like that!

 

[Pug]

Consider reading this Wednesday audience from JP2 on the nuptial meaning of the body. He discusses how “helper” and “alone” relate to each other.

Helper relates to how a man and a woman live in relationship and are a mutual gift for each other. Stuff like that.

 

[trogiah]

I’m looking for responses from those with Biblical world views on the role of wives. Going back to the beginning on the creation of woman, sometimes Genesis 2:20 translates helper as “helpmate”. What is the actual word used in the original language of the Bible, and what are the implications, (if any), of that word choice? What do you think a “helper” or “helpmate” should do?

*. *

I think that if you are looking for Scriptural references on this matter you should go back just a little further in Genesis for the thought that started this whole process.

The LORD God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.”

I think this is a significant statement. Notice that God didn’t say “It is not good that the man has too much work to do” or “It is not good that man has to cook his own food.”

God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

This phrase indicates to me that the most fundamental duty of a wife to her husband (and husband to his wife) is to be good company for each other - to encourage one another and to keep each other from loneliness.

peace

Jim

 

[deb1]

So all I’m suppose to do as a wife is help tend the garden? I like that!

Considering that your screen name is Gardens with kids, you should have an easy time with this one.

 

[LittleDeb]

The LORD God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.”

I think this is a significant statement. Notice that God didn’t say “It is not good that the man has too much work to do” or “It is not good that man has to cook his own food.”

God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

This phrase indicates to me that the most fundamental duty of a wife to her husband (and husband to his wife) is to be good company for each other - to encourage one another and to keep each other from loneliness.

Very well put. I have struggled with the same kinds of things that Gardenswithkids does. Your post addresses letting Scripture be plain in those places that it is plain.

Yep, my husband has said that it is truly my companionship that means the most to him. (Understood in all its forms–encouragement, support, …etc.) Basically, that I am exactly who I am, and that I am here for him.

 

[gardenswithkids]

I have struggled with the same kinds of things…

Glad to know I’m not the only wife who couldn’t quite figure this helper stuff out. It seems my husband doesn’t want me to just garden.

I showed trogiah’s post about companionship to my husband, and he agreed with it. The weird part is, the other tasks that I do when trying to “help” him frequently get in the way of the companion aspect of marriage.:whacky:

 

[Pug]

You didn’t comment on the Theology of the Body passage, so I suspect it was too dense. Here is the most relevant short clip I could dig out of it:

When God-Yahweh said, “It is not good that man should be alone,” (Gn 2:18) he affirmed that “alone,” man does not completely realize this essence. He realizes it only by existing “with someone”—and even more deeply and completely—by existing “for someone.”

Your husband is not alone. He is in relationship with you. This is a great gift.

 

[gardenswithkids]

You didn’t comment on the Theology of the Body passage, so I suspect it was too dense. … This is a great gift.

Thanks! Indeed it is a great gift! I didn’t comment on that because I think I already have a good grasp on that part of the relationship. By creating woman, God not only gave Adam a wife, but He also gave the ability to create children. In creating Eve, God gave humanity the ability to create additional “helpers”.

My aunt passed away a few years ago, and I know my uncle misses her terribly. But her children–the children they created together in co-operation with God–keep my uncle company now. Even though his beloved wife died, God did not leave my uncle “alone”. That’s a lovely thought and a beautiful testiment to the fruit of their marriage.

My husband and I also find “companionship” of a sort with my children who are young now. But it’s also very easy to get absorbed in the “busy-ness” of our children’s needs and neglect our primary vocation of husband and wife. Our roles of “mom and dad” grow out of our role of “husband and wife”.

 

[Pug]

My aunt passed away a few years ago, and I know my uncle misses her terribly. But her children–the children they created together in co-operation with God–keep my uncle company now. Even though his beloved wife died, God did not leave my uncle “alone”. That’s a lovely thought and a beautiful testiment to the fruit of their marriage.

How lovely! I have no children, so for me and my husband, our companiship is very important. Instead of greeting my children as they come home from school, I have rituals to greet my spouse when he comes home from work.

I am often barefoot (I hate shoes) and I stand on the top of four steps when he comes in the door. I curl my toes tightly around the edge of the step in anticipation. I’m sure he sees that as he enters, because the doorhandle is about on level with the top step. He knows just how I am that way.

I know that story may make no sense, but to me it is entirely related to the topic at hand. I don’t really think of the companionship as sexual. I mean, that is there, but… well, the toe thing expresses what I mean.

 

[gardenswithkids]

You didn’t comment on the Theology of the Body passage.

Too late to edit, as I was busy helping my husband and children, but I notice my comments above discuss the theology of the body all in relationship to children. I realize the gift of self in marriage doesn’t always result in a child. And Pug’s quote from John Paul II about man existing with someone and for someone is beautiful. That phrase stood out when I read the document.