Delay consummation or short term BC Pill use

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pjprebe

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I understand the teaching of the Church regarding contraception, and I fully accept it. But, I have a question that I’m not absolutely clear about. Basically, my fiancee and I will get married in approximately 2 months. Last week she had to get the MMR vaccination in order to immigrate to the USA. My understanding regarding the Rubella portion is that there are some serious risks for the baby if the woman would get pregnant within 3 months after getting the shot. My fiancee and I were planning to practice NFP, but she is now so afraid that if we consummate our marriage in 2 months, there is a chance that, if she got pregnant, our baby could have some serious birth defects. If she were to use the BC pill for one month along with abstaining during the more dangerously fertile days of that 3rd month, would that also be morally unacceptable? Or, should we just postpone the consummation for a month?
 
pjprebe said:
I understand the teaching of the Church regarding contraception, and I fully accept it. But, I have a question that I’m not absolutely clear about. Basically, my fiancee and I will get married in approximately 2 months. Last week she had to get the MMR vaccination in order to immigrate to the USA. My understanding regarding the Rubella portion is that there are some serious risks for the baby if the woman would get pregnant within 3 months after getting the shot. My fiancee and I were planning to practice NFP, but she is now so afraid that if we consummate our marriage in 2 months, there is a chance that, if she got pregnant, our baby could have some serious birth defects. If she were to use the BC pill for one month along with abstaining during the more dangerously fertile days of that 3rd month, would that also be morally unacceptable? Or, should we just postpone the consummation for a month?
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You shoud postpone the consummation for a month.
 
Yes, you should postpone the consummation for a month. For more info about the church’s teachings on this, you should check out “Humanae Vitae” by Paul VI, specifically section 14. If you type in “humanae vitae” on your computer, a link should come up. God bless you and your fiance!
 
pjprebe said:
I understand the teaching of the Church regarding contraception, and I fully accept it. But, … My fiancee and I were planning to practice NFP, but … If she were to use the BC pill for one month …would that also be morally unacceptable? Or, should we just postpone the consummation for a month?
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ABC is always, and in every circumstance, regardless of intention, intrinsically evil and strictly forbidden by the Church.

That said, what is 1 to 3 months abstinence to start a shared lifelong journey together, when the alternative (“supplement” NFP with ABC) is to stumble out of the starting block of launching your nuptial journey together? For an another take, you may as well pre-schedule your confession with a priest for your chosen pre-meditated, pre-calculated serious sin.

**1754 **The circumstances, including the consequences, are secondary elements of a moral act. They contribute to increasing or diminishing the moral goodness or evil of human acts (for example, the amount of a theft). They can also diminish or increase the agent’s responsibility (such as acting out of a fear of death). Circumstances of themselves cannot change the moral quality of acts themselves; they can make neither good nor right an action that is in itself evil. (Catechism of the Catholic Church)
 
pjprebe said:
If she were to use the BC pill for one month along with abstaining during the more dangerously fertile days of that 3rd month, would that also be morally unacceptable?
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This would be both impractical from a medical standpoint and immoral from a spiritual standpoint.

First, you cannot just use the Pill for one month. A woman going on the pill is told to use a “backup” method during the first month. There is no guarantee the Pill will be effective the first month. So, this “solution” makes no sense at all for your situation, medically.

Second, from a moral standpoint, this is contraception plain and simple. No you cannot use contracpetion, ever.
pjprebe said:
Or, should we just postpone the consummation for a month?
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I don’t see a reason to do that, but if it the only thing that will ease her mind then yes abstain.

If she’s confident in her method of NFP, and has been charting for several months, abstaining until the post-ovulation phase (Phase III in STM) should be sufficient to be extremely conservative.
 
As yet another reason, using the pill, even just 1-2 months, will prevent accurate reading of NFP symptoms for at least the month the woman is taking them, and can mess things up for some time afterwards as well.

I agree that the best option would be to wait until well into phase III (say, peak+5) each of the relevant cycles, As far as I know, all true method failures for the NFP methods are from contact prior to identified ovulation in a cycle.
 
I agree with the other posters. Use of the BC pill is not licit, even in this case. As someone planning her own wedding right now, I would see if it is at all possible to move back the date–but at this point, most things could be set in stone as far as the wedding goes.

Also, I believe that from the Catholic standpoint, the marriage will not even be considered actually consummated until the couple has non-contracepted sex. Someone correct me on that if I’m wrong.
 
Check out the MMR info on cdc.gov. She will only need to avoid pregnancy for 1 month rather than 3. The recommendations were changed in 01.
 
As long as you realize that you wont actually be properly married for that month according to cannon law

1142 For a just cause, the Roman Pontiff can dissolve a non-consummated marriage between baptized persons.

So if your still unsure that your fiannce is the woman for you then this might be a blessing in disguise.

I would probably tell you to go ahead, but I am personally of the opinion that prophylactic use of BC pill is fine.

Good luck with the wedding tho dude!
 
Maynoothman said:
I would probably tell you to go ahead, but I am personally of the opinion that prophylactic use of BC pill is fine.
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As a CA Profile “RC” religion, how and why can this be that personal opinion trumps the Christ given authority for the Church to definitiely teach in matters of faith and morals? Is there some sort of sub-set of Catholic who can publically disagree with Church teaching and still be considered a faithful Catholic?
 
Cardinal Ratzinger has frequently stated to people “Have the strength to be imperfect.”

I respect and adhere to the Church’s teachings but realize that they are self confessed ideals that we ought to strive for in our daily lives and that sometimes we wont measure up to them which wont exclude us from the church, and wont be considered “some sort of sub-set of Catholic” and that we will “still be considered a faithful Catholic” to the best of our abilities.

Plus I realize the importance of conscience, not as a tool of usurping certain Church teachings, but rather as a tool for interpreting.

plus i’d like if ya werent so insulting please, cheers!
 
pjprebe,

I think you have gotten very good advice from a number of posters who said you and your fiance should abstain for a month. I know it is probably disappointing, but once that time is over, you have a lifetime together!

That said, I am concerned that you used the term “dangerously fertile.” Perhaps it was simply a poor word choice, but fertility is a gift, not a danger.

God bless.
 
As I recall, it seems that the Pill is effective for the first month you take it, so if she were to choose that option, she’d have to started taking it NOW.

As other have said, move the wedding date, just hold hands or live separately for that month in question. This is a good opportunity to strengthen your will power.
 
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