Delayed Marriages

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With all the church closings at what point will it be acceptable for a couple to pronounce their marriage vows in private?
For some couples it has been more than three months.
 
poche said:
With all the church closings at what point will it be acceptable for a couple to pronounce their marriage vows in private?
For some couples it has been more than three months.
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That is an interesting question. I believe canon law specifies 1 month, which sounds terribly short to me, especially considering that most churches in the US require 6 months or 12 months of preparation.
 
A couple could marry in the Church with a minimum number of persons present. I think that’s the couple plus two witnesses and the priest. It shouldn’t be very difficult to do that in a virus-safe way.

The marriage preparation too. If schools can do remote instruction, so can the parish, right?
 
Beryllos said:
A couple could marry in the Church with a minimum number of persons present. I think that’s the couple plus two witnesses and the priest. It shouldn’t be very difficult to do that in a virus-safe way.

The marriage preparation too. If schools can do remote instruction, so can the parish, right?
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Online marriage prep existed before the pandemic. Most places have opened up to allow for a very basic wedding to take place, but that wasn’t the case in many places for at least a month.
 
The couple is going to be spending their whole lives together, and as babochka said most churches make you start prep at least 6 months before the wedding minimum; many couples start even earlier, about a year in advance.
Unless one of the couple is dying or shipping out for a long tour of duty, three months is nothing.
 
At this point, I’m sure a marriage can be arranged with a priest and the witnesses. Having that option, I would not trade it for just two people performing the ceremony. I would like to receive every single blessing I can.
 
Yes, but if after the required preparation then what about those couples who are on indefinite lock down?
 
Is that what is happening in places where they are in an indefinite lock down?
 
Three months is now but some places are in an indeterminate closure.
 
I thought in most places, priests were making arrangements for stuff like marriages and baptisms, but with a tiny number of attendees.
 
I never understood those long preparations before a wedding. We managed to plan everything in about 4 months, what could possibly take a year to prepare?
 
tuffsmurf said:
I never understood those long preparations before a wedding. We managed to plan everything in about 4 months, what could possibly take a year to prepare?
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Freedom to marry needs to be determined and the couple need to understand what marriage is.

Then there needs to be availibility.
 
poche said:
With all the church closings at what point will it be acceptable for a couple to pronounce their marriage vows in private?
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Um, never. That isn’t valid.

And IDK what you are talking about because marriages have not be canceled in most places. Marriages, baptisms, and funerals could be done in our diocese throughout the pandemic, and confessions could be heard and communion taken to the sick.

Confirmation and FHC, both which happen in the mass, were delayed but may now take place. Confirmation waited until after the Chrism Mass, which was itself delayed two months.

All of the above must comply with guidelines of the diocese and the county.
poche said:
For some couples it has been more than three months.
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Again, it’s not valid so IDK where you are getting the idea that they could do so.
 
Sure, but why would freedom to marry take a year to establish? You just have to show that you have never been married before, or a decree of nullity.
 
babochka said:
That is an interesting question. I believe canon law specifies 1 month, which sounds terribly short to me, especially considering that most churches in the US require 6 months or 12 months of preparation.
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No. That isn’t correct. A couple cannot ever exchange vows privately.

That isn’t allowed.

What is allowed is for them to exchange before witnesses only, BUT the current situation does not meet the requirements. Sacred ministers are NOT unavailable.
 
tuffsmurf said:
We managed to plan everything in about 4 months, what could possibly take a year to prepare?
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For starters, our parish church got booked up with weddings quite far in advance, so if we wanted our wedding in the fall or spring when it was not boiling hot and not snowing, we needed to reserve the church about a year in advance. We also had to do the prep with the priest and submit some kind of baptismal paperwork.

Then we had to make preparations for a reception (finding and getting a venue same day as wedding), the meal at the reception, my dress, a cake, flowers, other niceties I wanted (like I made some of my own accessories which meant I had to get materials and spend time making the items), musicians for the Mass and the reception, choose and reserve the photographer for engagement and wedding photos, run the engagement announcement (with engagement photo) in the paper, making sure people were free to be in our wedding, print and send wedding announcements by mail (no Internet then), relatives and friends had to make travel plans, get our Pre-Cana requirements done, a whole host of things.

My husband and I both worked all week and he was frequently getting sent on business trips and I didn’t have anyone else to help me (my mom wasn’t much help), and also all the vendors we were using for cakes and flowers and music and reception etc had many other clients and needed to incorporate us in their planning schedules and meet with us about what was needed. We ended up spending almost every weekend for some months tending to wedding stuff. On the weekends he was away on assignment I was tending to stuff I could do on my own.

My parents planned their wedding in about 6 months but my mother had older siblings helping her, wore a dress she bought off some rack and they had their reception in her parents’ home with family cooking the food. While this was nice for their situation, it was not what I wanted, nor did it work for me as I had no family except my mother who like I said was for various reasons not super helpful.

I would note we had a pretty small wedding with only about 35 guests. If it had been bigger it would have added to the planning complications.

We chose to delay our honeymoon for about 2 years after the wedding, but if a couple wanted to plan their trip for right after the wedding, that would mean more reservations and such needed to be made and paid well in advance, and vacation time from work arranged, etc.
 
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tuffsmurf said:
Sure, but why would freedom to marry take a year to establish? You just have to show that you have never been married before, or a decree of nullity.
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I think 3-4 months is in most cases reasonable for prep, but the Church is being cautious in case people bank on a date and the prep takes longer than expected,
 
Well everyone is different I guess…

We got engaged in March. Met with the parish priest in April and set a date for August. We took the church that was available for that date and we had the reception in my parents’ house.
In May I bought my dress and we met with the priest again to talk about the Sacrament, married life and personal expectations, etc. Send out invitations.
In June we ordered the food and cake that we wanted. We booked the honey moon.
In July we met with the priest to do paperwork and to go through the ceremony. We bought rings.
In the last two weeks before the wedding we had a rehearsal, I ordered one bouquet of flowers. We decorated the house with our own flowers (wild and from the garden) and set up the tables.
Done.
 
We also just played music from CD/spotify and I did my own hair and makeup.
 
I made a thread asking these kinds of questions about marriage a few months ago but I’ve forgotten the answer to this one - If a Catholic couple exchanged vows with two witnesses but no priest present, would that marriage be valid but illicit, or invalid? Would it be considered a sin to do so, if there was no reason not to have a priest present?
And same question but with no witnesses. ( I assume it would be totally invalid except for a desert island scenario but I’m not sure)
 
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