Delaying conversion?

[angell1]

what do you guys think of delaying conversion in order to avoid difficult situations?

I was watching an episode of a catholic program, and the speaker was saying that if a spouse really opposed the other’s conversion that they should put it off and that the marriage was more important.

I personally have serious reservations about this. didn’t jesus say that if we put other before him, we weren’t worthy of him?

and many others live in far worse conditions, where conversion means death.

what do you guys think?

 

[BrockH]

I don’t think that there’s a ''one-size-fits-all" answer to your question. Every situation is different. I definitely believe that a lot of time spent in prayer would help.

It would really depend - Is the other spouse active in another church? Was the spouse raised anti-Catholic? Is the other spouse against religion? Why is the spouse unhappy about the conversion?

Only the person who wants to convert to Catholicism can make the final decision. Perhaps there is a compromise somewhere. If the other spouse is active in another church, perhaps attend Mass on Saturday evening or at a different time on Sunday morning and also attend the spouse’s service. Or the one converting could promise not to try to convert him/her (you can still plant seeds of faith and let God lead the way).

If a compromise is impossible for NOW, I would suggest that the one hoping to convert still attends the Holy Mass on Sundays (or Sat. Night) and lets the Holy Spirit take over with the anti-Catholic spouse. Jesus understands and will be there for support and will always offer a ‘‘shoulder to cry on.’’

God Bless.

 

[angell1]

I don’t think that there’s a ''one-size-fits-all" answer to your question. Every situation is different. I definitely believe that a lot of time spent in prayer would help.

It would really depend - Is the other spouse active in another church? Was the spouse raised anti-Catholic? Is the other spouse against religion? Why is the spouse unhappy about the conversion?

Only the person who wants to convert to Catholicism can make the final decision. Perhaps there is a compromise somewhere. If the other spouse is active in another church, perhaps attend Mass on Saturday evening or at a different time on Sunday morning and also attend the spouse’s service. Or the one converting could promise not to try to convert him/her (you can still plant seeds of faith and let God lead the way).

If a compromise is impossible for NOW, I would suggest that the one hoping to convert still attends the Holy Mass on Sundays (or Sat. Night) and lets the Holy Spirit take over with the anti-Catholic spouse. Jesus understands and will be there for support and will always offer a ‘‘shoulder to cry on.’’

God Bless.

jesus also said to follow him at all costs.

I agree that there isn’t a one size fits all for every situation, but if I was married and my husband threatened to leave if I became catholic or something extreme like that, well, I don’t know if I would be able to stay in a marriage like that

not that I’m in this situation, just hypothesizing

obviously, if you are able to compromise, that would be better but many have to give up everything just to be catholic, families, friends, even their lives. I find this very admirable

 

[spedteacherita]

what do you guys think of delaying conversion in order to avoid difficult situations?

I was watching an episode of a catholic program, and the speaker was saying that if a spouse really opposed the other’s conversion that they should put it off and that the marriage was more important.

I personally have serious reservations about this. didn’t jesus say that if we put other before him, we weren’t worthy of him?

and many others live in far worse conditions, where conversion means death.

what do you guys think?

Maybe I’m thinking too simply but how does one delay conversion? Conversion happens when the Holy Spirit brings you to it, does it not? I was “converted” to Christianity long before I was baptized and confirmed into the faith…Is it the public act within the Church you are speaking of? Sorry if I’m messing up the questions and answers here.

 

[angell1]

Maybe I’m thinking too simply but how does one delay conversion? Conversion happens when the Holy Spirit brings you to it, does it not? I was “converted” to Christianity long before I was baptized and confirmed into the faith…Is it the public act within the Church you are speaking of? Sorry if I’m messing up the questions and answers here.

sorry, I meant converting to the catholic church more specifically

 

[Petaro]

I can understand compromise is the art of a happy marriage. However, I am a simple man. Jesus warned us against putting others before Him. If He wants you, He will get you. He is a jealous God.
I would have a very serious talk to my wife, if she were a barrier to my relationship with Christ. He must come first and I would expect my wife to understand. Sometimes, someone who loves you will let you actually do what you want. Don’t underestimate this gift, being always grateful and ready to offer the same liberty of faith and thought to them. Love has a way of coming good in strange situations.
But you cannot forgo Jesus like putting off sleep. His Will overwhelms in the end. Fall on your knees and offer thanks and praise.

 

[DebChris]

When I was in high school, my brother met a Buddhist woman whom he married.
When she refused to convert, my parents response was, “She has the power of her convictions.”
I learned much from that comment. I learned that I did not want a spouse who would convert simply to please me. The conversion must be genuine if it is be at all. My sister-in-law is now a devout Catholic. My brother accepted her as she was. Her conversion was hers alone.

The only person we can change is ourselves. If you cannot accept the person as they are, they are not the person you are called to marry.

Likewise, if the other person is not willing to accept you for who you are, I would say that the marriage is not to be. Set the precedence from the beginning that God is first in your life. If you are in the process of converting to Catholicism because you are convinced it is the correct choice, do so now rather than put it off. If you cannot be accepted for who you are before marriage, how will things change after vows have been made?

 

[Joe_Kelley]

When I was in high school, my brother met a Buddhist woman whom he married.
When she refused to convert, my parents response was, “She has the power of her convictions.”
I learned much from that comment. I learned that I did not want a spouse who would convert simply to please me. The conversion must be genuine if it is be at all. My sister-in-law is now a devout Catholic. My brother accepted her as she was. Her conversion was hers alone.
…

Very true. I know of a couple of cases where one spouse converted only to please the other. They never achieved the conversion that would have been possible if they had taken, or been given, the time to achieve a true conversion.

 

[otjm]

Given that some answers seem to say “My/your conversion is so important, you should risk divorce”, I have to ask:

If the OP is already baptized, then what are we saying “conversion” means?

Does it mean that if one does not make a public profession of faith, that one is not converted?

Is conversion strictly limited or solely defined as making that profession of faith?

If both parties were baptized as of the day of the wedding, the Church recognizes their marriage as a sacramental marriage.

And if it is a sacramental marriage - a valid marriage - then it is a covenantal relationship; and it is not between two parties, but three - God, and the two spouses.

And if it is a covenantal marriage, then what duty does the one wishing to publicly profess faith have to that marriage relationship?

Obviously, if they have not made a public procession of faith, they are not admitted to the other sacraments, possibly with the exception of Reconciliation, as it would appear that there is language about the reception of that sacrament for those Protestants properly disposed, and etc.

But what else is lacking? They are somewhat in the position of a Catholic who marries, divorces, and remarries without a decree of nullity in that they cannot receive; but they are not in a state of sin as the remarried couple is.

While they cannot participate normally in the other sacraments, if they wish to convert but because of the spouse’s objections cannot make the public profession, are they any less in a sacramental marriage and open to receiving whatever graces God may bestow? And how does that relate to a possible divorce?

Is God bound by the profession of faith as to one being Catholic, or are we?

And if God is not bound, and one does not make the profession of faith out of honor to the spouse, and to the sacramental covenant, is God going to punish that or honor it?

What exactly is salvation? Conversion of heart or public profession of faith?