Deliberate sin

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JaredR

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I have been committing deliberate sins all week. I don’t know why, but I choose to sin even though I know God loves me more than I can fathom and that I am willingly offending Him. I don’t even feel sorry. My heart is so hard and I know I’ve turned my back on God. I think I love God, but I don’t show Him any love with the actions of my will.

What now? 🤷
 
Sadly in many ways I am in the same boat…and in the last week I have been jerked back into reality and realized that I need to change.

My sins have put me in a spot where communicating with God is very difficult.

As for what to do? I say lean on others of faith, pray to God and have others pray for you, and perhaps most importantly…Think.

By thinking I mean take a second…God and everyone aside…and think about what your doing…and why? What sin could you possibly be doing that will bring any fruition to your life in the long term? What sin will TRULY benefit you? Think about what you do today and apply it to tomorrow…ask yourself what will it do? Will it bring you peace and goodness? Will it bring you spiritual growth? Will it show as a testimony for anyone who sees it to follow? If no one sees it will God in heaven not see it?

I am not even trying to scare you back to God or anything even…I am asking you what sinning will bring to you in the big picture of things. Most sins are committed for personal gain and this gets us no where.

It is like a child who wants the whole candy bar when offered only half. In this life on Earth there are many pleasures and desirable things but we do not need them.

1 John 2:15-27 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. (16) For all that is in the world–the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions–is not from the Father but is from the world. (17) And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. (18) Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour. (19) They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us. (20) But you have been anointed by the Holy One, and you all have knowledge. (21) I write to you, not because you do not know the truth, but because you know it, and because no lie is of the truth. (22) Who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son. (23) No one who denies the Son has the Father. Whoever confesses the Son has the Father also. (24) Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father. (25) And this is the promise that he made to us–eternal life. (26) I write these things to you about those who are trying to deceive you. (27) But the anointing that you received from him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone should teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about everything, and is true, and is no lie–just as it has taught you, abide in him.
 
What sort of things are compelling you to do these sins? Are they sins where you do something mean to another person? Are they ones to your advantage like stealing things or lying about things? Maybe I can help think of ways to look at this thing differently. Also, sometimes people think they are sinning when they aren’t; that’s another reason I’m asking for more specifics – not necessarily the sins themselves but the types and natures of the sins.

That said, I have recently tasted some of the peace and joy that can be found in the Lord, and it is delicious. I have no desire to sin, because it just isn’t fathomable when I’m this content with life. Look at how you treat other people, and even how you view yourself. Do you see yourself as rebellious, for example? Do you see yourself as a gift from God, or as something less? It almost sounds like something within you is “double dog daring” you to do something about this behavior – I say Word up, read scriptures (I prefer New Testament) and it wouldn’t hurt to check into confession frequently. You can tell a priest you are troubled because you’re not feeling really sorry for what you’ve done, and ask his advice on how to proceed. Once I went to confession with a similar concern, and the priest helped me a lot, and I did end up getting absolution.

Alan
 
JaredR said:
I have been committing deliberate sins all week. I don’t know why, but I choose to sin even though I know God loves me more than I can fathom and that I am willingly offending Him. I don’t even feel sorry. My heart is so hard and I know I’ve turned my back on God. I think I love God, but I don’t show Him any love with the actions of my will.

What now? 🤷
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I think that what is happening to you is what we might term throwing a “spirtual tantrum”. Just like any small child, you are, for some reason, lashing out.
Obviously you are “out of control” and need to regain some balance and strength in your spiritual life. Take the following steps (in no particular order).
  1. Get to Confession. If you can’t or do not want to wait for regular confession tmies, call the rectory and set up a time to meet with your confessor.
  2. Spend time before the blessed sacrament in the tabernacle. Take some spriritual reading with you, but be sure to allow time to sit and refelct upon God’s Love.
  3. Spend time with Scripture, especially the Gospels, and Psalms.
  4. Pray - Pray - Pray. Not so God knows you are trying to get better, but that you know it.
Hope this shelps

Peace
James
 
JaredR said:
I have been committing deliberate sins all week. I don’t know why, but I choose to sin even though I know God loves me more than I can fathom and that I am willingly offending Him. I don’t even feel sorry. My heart is so hard and I know I’ve turned my back on God. I think I love God, but I don’t show Him any love with the actions of my will.

What now? 🤷
Click to expand...
You are despairing perhaps?

Prayed on your behalf

God, I barely realise my blindness, deafness, and ignorance before You. I suspect the truths of Your love as distant music, though I yearn to know and love You. I desire to be pure, zealous and faithful after example of Jesus and Mary, so that through me, You may channel love and blessing to many others.

If I really knew You, God, if I knew Your love, goodness and power, Your ways and thoughts beyond all earthly kind, then what would I ask, seek, and offer to You and to others’ souls for Your sake! How would I live and serve, if I knew, and truly loved! What would I ask of You, of the Mother, of each Saint and Angel, in daring trust? These I ask anyway, although I am sinful, ignorant, and lukewarm!

My heart reaches out in quiet faith to the Father who is infinite Creator so great that He intimately cherishes each of billions of lowly creatures throughout the ages. My heart reaches out to follow the Son whom He surrendered to creature-hood and to death-that-rose, drawing each person into relationship with God. My heart reaches out to touch the Spirit, who transforms all things.

My self-interest undermines my spiritual vitality and efficacious service. I am an erratic, ordinary person, yet in Your intention, I am a glorious reflection of Your love.

No prayer and goodwill can free me from sinfulness, but with repentant faith in Your merciful love and forgiveness, through Your grace I leap over this deadly barrier. Please free me from sin even in my human flaws so that sin may not separate us or impede the flood of Your goodness through my life to others.

God, if by Your goodness You love and act through me—then Your wisdom, goodness and life can engulf and flow from me to others. Please let each moment (each atom, all thought, word, and act, each frailty and each grace) of my life be transformed in Your love. Let it be formed into exquisite notes of Your eternal symphony to delight and praise You far beyond my understanding.

With faith, I offer You my daily duty and routine, with its joy, prayer, hope, and struggle. Let Your Spirit pray and fulfil in me all that I would become, seek, ask, and do, if Your love and truth were known to me. This, God is the lifelong prayer of this sinful, contrite, hopeful creature.

“Walk with simplicity in the way of the Lord and do not torment your spirit. Learn to hate your faults but to hate them calmly.” (Saint Padre Pio)* “Heaven is filled with converted sinners of all kinds, and there is room for more”* (St. Joseph Cafaso)
 
Loving God, I have sinned against others, against myself, and against You. I am unworthy to be Your child. I have offended Your goodness and Your dream of who I really am. I may have denied You the joy of blessings that You wish for me and for others through me. You alone know the entire consequences of my failure.

Yet Jesus assures us that You joyfully celebrate my return from sin, and run to welcome and reclaim me as Your own. I want to value myself as Your child, knowing that all worth and holiness comes from You.

In trust, I will not accuse myself for sins already forgiven and absolved or for temptation if I have not actually sinned. I believe that temptation can be overcome by Your grace, inspiring greater faithfulness to the Gospel and the Sacraments.

Look on those tasks of love and service that I fail to undertake or to complete, and bring them to completion. Please bring out of my failures, such fruits of these new opportunities enhanced beyond all previous expectation, for from our human betrayal of Your divine plan of Creation, Your mercy wrought the magnificent plan of redemption that reverberates through time and eternity!

In Your mercy, please transform into good all that in weakness or ignorance I may spoil. Please through me give blessing that is abundant beyond original possibility, to anyone I ever harm or deprive.

May I so belong to You, may I be so transformed by Your love, that my faults no longer are sin or offence in Your sight and can foster nothing that impedes Your will. This, my soul in trusting confidence implores.
 
JaredR said:
I have been committing deliberate sins all week. I don’t know why, but I choose to sin even though I know God loves me more than I can fathom and that I am willingly offending Him. I don’t even feel sorry. My heart is so hard and I know I’ve turned my back on God. I think I love God, but I don’t show Him any love with the actions of my will.

What now? 🤷
Click to expand...
When i was like this i read in the bible men of God had this problem. what they did is ask God to remove there hard heart and put a soft heart in them.
ask to have your will changed to his will. Ask God to take away your presumptuous sins.
God is the creator of the universe.
If you try yourself you will fail because you can only Glorify yourself for succeeding
Your SELF has to be denied. Self has to be crucified that is the power of the Cross
you die to self. Ask God to do that for you
But if you trust God to do it for you all the Glory goes to God.
 
What now? The healing grace of Confession. Confess your sins and your hardness of heart. You only need to give God a tiny opening.

Betsy
 
Thank you for the answers everyone; I read and took all of them in. I hope it’s okay if I don’t get to all of the questions though. Just an update, I went to confession today and received Communion (for the first time in weeks) at Mass later. I am going to do my best not to fall into a state of sin again and to be open to God’s repair of myself and our relationship. I am exhausted, so I’m going to scoot, but I wanted to thank everyone for their posts. :coffeeread:
 
JaredR said:
Thank you for the answers everyone; I read and took all of them in. I hope it’s okay if I don’t get to all of the questions though. Just an update, I went to confession today and received Communion (for the first time in weeks) at Mass later. I am going to do my best not to fall into a state of sin again and to be open to God’s repair of myself and our relationship. I am exhausted, so I’m going to scoot, but I wanted to thank everyone for their posts. :coffeeread:
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Good to hear. 👍 God be with you always.

Peace
James
 
Hi Jared,

My 2 cents (which you are free to follow or ignore). Quit being so hard on yourself. You say you don’t care that you sin??? I disagree. Your post showed a lot of remorse and a desire to change. Awesome first step!

I agree with others. Even a simple prayer said once a day ‘Lord please soften my heart to your ways’ is all you need to start.

And after this trial is over, you will have learnt patience

Keep the faith

CM
 
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