Denied annulment - appeal?

[Katherine124]

I just recently found out that my petition for an annulment was denied due to lack of evidence. It took over 2 years and I am devastated. I have the option to appeal but I can’t find much (or really anything) online about what this process entails, how long it takes, etc. Can anyone point me in the right direction? I don’t know what to do or if it’s even worth it. I waffle on whether or not I actually have grounds for an annulment. It’s not cut and dry, but I am led to believe that there must be *something *there since my local tribunal accepted my case into the process in the first place?

I have called my parish priest twice in the last 4 days and haven’t heard from him yet. I am in this anxiety-ridden limbo wondering what to do and I have less than two weeks to file an appeal. I respect this process, but at the same time I absolutely hate it. I am a very private person and talking to anyone about my past marriage is completely unbearable to me. After 2 years of waiting, I can’t believe I might have to go through all of this again (with no certainty of a positive outcome).

 

[dans0622]

I just recently found out that my petition for an annulment was denied due to lack of evidence. It took over 2 years and I am devastated. I have the option to appeal but I can’t find much (or really anything) online about what this process entails, how long it takes, etc. Can anyone point me in the right direction? I don’t know what to do or if it’s even worth it. …

Hello,

You should call the tribunal which handled the case and ask to speak with a canon lawyer there or have them give you the contact information of a canon lawyer who can work with you. Practically, you have two options: appeal the case (which would mean that it is going to have to go all the way to Rome if you are to receive an affirmative decision), or have the case heard on different grounds at the same, local tribunal. You could drop the issue, obviously, so that is a third option. Theoretically, you could claim that this decision is invalid but that is highly unlikely.

An expert would have to read the case to see which option is the most prudent. Your local parish priest is probably not going to be able to help you with this, unless he is a canon lawyer and/or has a good deal of experience dealing with nullity cases.

Dan

 

[Katherine124]

This is incredibly helpful - thank you! I do doubt that my parish priest can help me, but the notification letter I received was addressed to him (and I was copied). It led me to believe that he had to be part of the process and initiate the appeal. I am going to go ahead and contact the Tribunal directly.

 

[dans0622]

This is incredibly helpful - thank you! I do doubt that my parish priest can help me, but the notification letter I received was addressed to him (and I was copied). It led me to believe that he had to be part of the process and initiate the appeal. I am going to go ahead and contact the Tribunal directly.

Hello,

I suppose he was acting as your “Procurator” and/or “Advocate” and so he was to receive the notification. He can still help with paperwork and be a contact but, at this point, he might be a bit out of his league.

Dan

 

[Katherine124]

I’m afraid so (as wonderful as he is!). Thanks again! I do not relish going through yet another looooong process but here goes nothing…

 

[Cricket2]

I just recently found out that my petition for an annulment was denied due to lack of evidence. It took over 2 years and I am devastated. I have the option to appeal but I can’t find much (or really anything) online about what this process entails, how long it takes, etc. Can anyone point me in the right direction? I don’t know what to do or if it’s even worth it. I waffle on whether or not I actually have grounds for an annulment. It’s not cut and dry, but I am led to believe that there must be *something *there since my local tribunal accepted my case into the process in the first place?

I have called my parish priest twice in the last 4 days and haven’t heard from him yet. I am in this anxiety-ridden limbo wondering what to do and I have less than two weeks to file an appeal. I respect this process, but at the same time I absolutely hate it. I am a very private person and talking to anyone about my past marriage is completely unbearable to me. After 2 years of waiting, I can’t believe I might have to go through all of this again (with no certainty of a positive outcome).

The tribunal accepting your case is more likely just a standard procedure. It is ridiculous for these things to take years to conclude, and I don’t care if it is the Church. I am sure they like the money involved. And yes I am critical of the whole tribunal methodology, and no I have never married or been divorced. I just think there are certain things that should be “automatic” causes for annulment. One of those is domestic violence.

You don’t like to discuss your past marriage and that is fine. There is no need to do so with any of us. I would file the appeal and I would get a bit demanding as to why it took two years to start and just what they needed for proof of an invalid marriage. If there was infidelity or abuse I personally think there should be no question about an annulment. The person guilty of these things is the one annulling the marriage in the first place.

I know there can be other reasons that a marriage can be viewed as invalid, such as pregnancy prior to marriage, or false intentions about having children once married, or even hiding things like criminal history or what ever. But it should not take years to resolve. I don’t care if it is a civil divorce or the Church that kind of stuff is nonsense.

 

[MaryT777]

This is incredibly helpful - thank you! I do doubt that my parish priest can help me, but the notification letter I received was addressed to him (and I was copied). It led me to believe that he had to be part of the process and initiate the appeal. I am going to go ahead and contact the Tribunal directly.

Definitely get a Canon attorney. That was what I needed because of lack of evidence for I told no one about my marriage because I was so miserable and considered it gossip.
He had great advice and finally gave me the courage to ask my mother to testify which
helped immensely. My marriage was annulled. I received the same letter but mine said
process was on hold for further evidence was needed to please forward it.

Good grief the process was a nightmare to me.
Mary.

 

[pianistclare]

I’m sorry for your pain.
Remember that when doing the paperwork requested, you must fill in as MUCH DETAIL AS YOU CAN.
Nobody relishes the idea of re-hashing everything, but the more complete info you give, the more likely it will go quicker and with a better outcome. It’s confidential. They have to ask questions. We’ve had folks in RCIA say things like “it’s none of their business”. But, in fact, they need the info. How can they decide in your favor if they don’t know everything?
Often, those painful things are just what will swing it into your favor.
I hope everything gets resolved soon. But remember, there is a reason they ask for the many (seemingly endless) details. And it’s not because “they’re just curious”.
Get going on the appeal as others have said, by contacting the tribunal directly.

Pray to Saints Anne and Joachim for a happy outcome.
God bless you.

 

[Katherine124]

Good grief the process was a nightmare to me.

Me too! I just don’t like to talk to people about my private business (which is exactly why I have no evidence). You’re lucky they asked for more evidence before making a decision. I have a feeling the appeal will be even more of a nightmare than the original process.

It is ridiculous for these things to take years to conclude, and I don’t care if it is the Church.

My tribunal isn’t dragging it out for fun. They are just understaffed and take cases in the order they come in. My case sat dormant for a year before they tried. Once they tried it, I knew in less than a week that it was denied.

 

[Katherine124]

Remember that when doing the paperwork requested, you must fill in as MUCH DETAIL AS YOU CAN.

Yes, thank you, I did! I laid it ALL out. I think the problem is that I have no witnesses to corroborate any of it. They told me up front that my witnesses were weak. That’s because I didn’t tell anyone what was going on. I am a classic people-pleaser and don’t like to let on when I have problems.

 

[pianistclare]

Thank you so much for sharing your opinion and your strong emotions. You are not alone, it is so hard to see people suffering in abusive relationships.

I would like to share if I may, what helped me to understand the annulment process because I also felt like you did! The tribunal is there to investigate if a Sacramental Marriage took place to begin with. What helped me is to “pretend” they were investigating other Sacraments for validity. Say a tribunal were asked to investigate whether or not someone’s Baptism were valid, what would they inquire about? Well, they would want to know if water was used, they would want to know if the person was Baptized in the name of the Trinity. For a person receiving Holy Communion they would want to know if a person received the true Eucharist, body and blood of Jesus Christ. In other words they investigate what took place in and around the time of the sacrament to determine if it was valid.

Same for a sacramental marriage, they need to investigate what took place during and around the time of the sacrament to determine if it was valid. This is why later behaviors of an affair, tempers or other awful things can certainly point to the bad character of the individual (and they often do), however they do not always indicate that the marriage was null and void.

I am probably not going to change your mind and suddenly cause you to think the annulment process is wonderful! Just offering food for thought that I learned it wasn’t what I thought it was. Also I learned that the entire process cost a great deal more than most people were asked to contribute. Most people are asked to contribute several hundred dollars, but the cost is usually in the thousands to the diocese in terms of hours spent.

I used to think it was a scam really, I honestly did. In some places, here and there I suppose there may be an occasional dishonest priest or tribunal. However on the whole I believe by not handing out annulments to anyone that asks and really looking into things I believe we are honoring what Christ established as the covenant between a man and a woman.

To the Original Poster: God bless you and please be assured of my prayers. You have come along way and are carrying the heavy cross of uncertainty. Not knowing where your life is going and waiting, waiting, waiting can be an awful burden. Try and stay strong. Jesus has known from all eternity that you would be “denied because of lack of evidence” and would have to pursue further. He loves you so much, please let Him walk with you. Take care as best as you can.

Beautiful post. Well stated. OP, you are most certainly in our prayers.

 

[EmeraldOak]

Ihere goes nothing…

Good for you. I would not stop until every possible avenue had been exhausted. If you don’t appeal you might have regrets later. I pray God gives you a special grace of perseverance.

 

[Boswell]

Act, and act quickly. Don’t miss out because of the short deadline. My annulment took one year. I had to pay no money in my diocese. I put in SO MUCH detail that my petition was reduced to a summary before it was given to the Judge. While filling out my petition and answering the questions was a painful process, it was also very cathartic.

Press forward.

You are in my prayers.

I just recently found out that my petition for an annulment was denied due to lack of evidence. It took over 2 years and I am devastated. I have the option to appeal but I can’t find much (or really anything) online about what this process entails, how long it takes, etc. Can anyone point me in the right direction? I don’t know what to do or if it’s even worth it. I waffle on whether or not I actually have grounds for an annulment. It’s not cut and dry, but I am led to believe that there must be *something *there since my local tribunal accepted my case into the process in the first place?

I have called my parish priest twice in the last 4 days and haven’t heard from him yet. I am in this anxiety-ridden limbo wondering what to do and I have less than two weeks to file an appeal. I respect this process, but at the same time I absolutely hate it. I am a very private person and talking to anyone about my past marriage is completely unbearable to me. After 2 years of waiting, I can’t believe I might have to go through all of this again (with no certainty of a positive outcome).

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

Yes, thank you, I did! I laid it ALL out. I think the problem is that I have no witnesses to corroborate any of it. They told me up front that my witnesses were weak. That’s because I didn’t tell anyone what was going on. I am a classic people-pleaser and don’t like to let on when I have problems.

FWIW, I had only used two witnesses, and none could corroborate essential information relevant to my case (simply because it involved very private information that the ex never revealed to anyone else except me). I was also extremely PO’d that I had to reveal this information because it is none of their business, IMHO. But I did get the annulment on the first go round.

 

[Katherine124]

Thanks to every single one of you for your response. I have gone through this entire process feeling completely alone (my own fault for not wanting to talk about it) and it’s just nice to know that there are people willing to sympathize and offer advice. I find it very comforting.

 

[bobcrawford]

Two years! Wow.

May I ask how much money you had to pay to the Church for all of this?

I have a friend who is going through a divorce now because of a cheating non-repentent spouse.

She will not wait two year for an annulment. She wants to remarry while still capable of having children. Doesn’t the Church understand there is limited amount of time for women?

Uh, I just shudder to think what an innocent spouse has to go through because of a cheating spouse.

My understanding is that the Church only looks at the state of mind prior to marriage to judge if the marriage is valid. I personally think it is a mistake to not judge that a marriage no longer exists, and in most cases cannot continue to exist, when one spouse goes astray as the trust is in most cases broken forever and cannot be repaired.

As my friend said, “I am paying for the sins of my husband and it’s just not fair.”

I understand your frustration and pain. I see the huge number of people leaving the Catholic Church today because they feel the Church is not meeting their needs. The Church sometimes is trying to apply conditions a thousand years ago to a much different world. It’s no longer working.

 

[heidi_storage]

Two years! Wow.

May I ask how much money you had to pay to the Church for all of this?

I have a friend who is going through a divorce now because of a cheating non-repentent spouse.

She will not wait two year for an annulment. She wants to remarry while still capable of having children. Doesn’t the Church understand there is limited amount of time for women?

Uh, I just shudder to think what an innocent spouse has to go through because of a cheating spouse.

My understanding is that the Church only looks at the state of mind prior to marriage to judge if the marriage is valid. I personally think it is a mistake to not judge that a marriage no longer exists, and in most cases cannot continue to exist, when one spouse goes astray as the trust is in most cases broken forever and cannot be repaired.

As my friend said, “I am paying for the sins of my husband and it’s just not fair.”

I understand your frustration and pain. I see the huge number of people leaving the Catholic Church today because they feel the Church is not meeting their needs. The Church sometimes is trying to apply conditions a thousand years ago to a much different world. It’s no longer working.

Bob, from this and other posts I gather that you’re going through a crisis of faith. Have you been able to speak to a priest about your feelings?

 

[Cricket2]

Two years! Wow.

May I ask how much money you had to pay to the Church for all of this?

I have a friend who is going through a divorce now because of a cheating non-repentent spouse.

She will not wait two year for an annulment. She wants to remarry while still capable of having children. Doesn’t the Church understand there is limited amount of time for women?

Uh, I just shudder to think what an innocent spouse has to go through because of a cheating spouse.

My understanding is that the Church only looks at the state of mind prior to marriage to judge if the marriage is valid. I personally think it is a mistake to not judge that a marriage no longer exists, and in most cases cannot continue to exist, when one spouse goes astray as the trust is in most cases broken forever and cannot be repaired.

As my friend said, “I am paying for the sins of my husband and it’s just not fair.”

I understand your frustration and pain. I see the huge number of people leaving the Catholic Church today because they feel the Church is not meeting their needs. The Church sometimes is trying to apply conditions a thousand years ago to a much different world. It’s no longer working.

I agree with you. Infidelity should be a valid reason for annulments, as should abuse. I could care less about the time of the marriage. Cheaters are cheaters and they seldom change and I would refuse to put up with this myself. The Church needs to get a little smarter about this.

As for abuse, or addictive issues, I feel the same. The spouse and any possible children should not have to suffer in the name of saving a marriage. I think the abuser, cheater, addict is the one making the marriage null in the first place. Let those go who are not guilty of these sins.

 

[Et_Cetera]

I don’t really know anything about annulments, but it sounds like this whole process puts the burdens on the one who was victimized in the marriage and causes them way more grief than need be. Good luck.

 

[dans0622]

I don’t really know anything about annulments, but it sounds like this whole process puts the burdens on the one who was victimized in the marriage and causes them way more grief than need be. Good luck.

Hello,

The burden is on the one who is claiming that the marriage is invalid, whether he/she is considered a victim or victimizer.

Dan