Denying an Infant Baptism

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blehhitstu

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My husband and I are both Catholic. I’m a Cradle Catholic. He was baptized just 1 or 2 years ago.

We’re pregnant. My husband does not agree with me, on baptizing our child as soon as possible. He thinks we ought to wait for the baby to become an adult, so it could decide whether or not it wants to get baptized.

Is it a sin to deny our infant baptism? IF it is a sin, my husband will be at peace with letting the infant be baptized.
 
blehhitstu said:
My husband and I are both Catholic. I’m a Cradle Catholic. He was baptized just 1 or 2 years ago.

We’re pregnant. My husband does not agree with me, on baptizing our child as soon as possible. He thinks we ought to wait for the baby to become an adult, so it could decide whether or not it wants to get baptized.

Is it a sin to deny our infant baptism? IF it is a sin, my husband will be at peace with letting the infant be baptized.
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Yes, it can be sinful.

Unfortunately this is an erroneous notion some parents hold, that somehow the child should “choose” when he grows up when the fact is the parents are the first teachers of the faith, a gravely binding obligation.
 
If I could show my husband that it is a canonical law of the church to baptize our baby as an infant… that it definitely is considered a sin by the church… then he will accept baptizing the baby.

But if it is not a sin, then he’s getting away with not baptizing the child…til it’s way, way older.
 
blehhitstu said:
If I could show my husband that it is a canonical law of the church to baptize our baby as an infant… that it definitely is considered a sin by the church… then he will accept baptizing the baby.

But if it is not a sin, then he’s getting away with not baptizing the child…til it’s way, way older.
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Can. 867 §1. Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

Canon Law + obliged - doing it = sin.

What appalls me is that the question is even asked, and that you need to “prove it” to him, when a loving Catholic parent would at least ensure a child was given sanctifying grace as soon as possible, rather than having to point to some law, especially given that no one, even a child, is immune from sudden and unexpected death. But no, unless the law speaks, he will “get away” with it.

But fortunately, there is the law. If he won’t do it out of love and spiritual concern for his child, then he better do it out of obedience.
 
It’s sinful yes.
We don’t do things ONLY because we want to avoid sin.
We do things that are right.
Your husband would not permit the child to skip his education until he decides he wants to go to school, or wants to learn.
We teach. Right from the start.
Going to refrain from providing food?
The Eucharist, your child will learn at around 8 years old, is food for eternal life. What parent does not think it’s their responsibility to teach their child all that is good?

This is not something like an opinion. You are both Catholics.
I would implore you to do the right thing by your child, and I would hope that your husband could see his way clear to understanding what he is promising on behalf of his child.

Best wishes.
 
pianistclare said:
It’s sinful yes.
We don’t do things ONLY because we want to avoid sin.
We do things that are right.
Your husband would not ask permit the child to skip his education until he decides he wants to go to school, or wants to learn.
We teach. Right from the start.
Going to refrain food?
The Eucharist, your child will learn at around 8 years old, is food for eternal life. What parent does not think it’s their responsibility to teach their child all that is good?

This is not something like an opinion. You are both Catholics.
I would implore you to do the right thing by your child, and I would hope that your husband could see his way clear to understanding what he is promising on behalf of his child.

Best wishes.
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Let’s put it another way.

I shouldn’t teach my child to learn English. He should wait till he grows older till he decides what language he wants to speak. He may want to speak Russian instead.

Can’t take credit for that. That example comes from Fr. Mitch Pacwa.
 
porthos11 said:
Let’s put it another way.

I shouldn’t teach my child to learn English. He should wait till he grows older till he decides what language he wants to speak. He may want to speak Russian instead.

Can’t take credit for that. That example comes from Fr. Mitch Pacwa.
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🙂
 
blehhitstu said:
My husband and I are both Catholic. I’m a Cradle Catholic. He was baptized just 1 or 2 years ago.

We’re pregnant. My husband does not agree with me, on baptizing our child as soon as possible. He thinks we ought to wait for the baby to become an adult, so it could decide whether or not it wants to get baptized.

Is it a sin to deny our infant baptism? IF it is a sin, my husband will be at peace with letting the infant be baptized.
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You already have some great answers here. Seeing that your husband was baptized just 2 years ago, I’m guessing he went through RCIA at that time and was non-Christian before that time. Instead of “here you go hubby it’s a sin if we don’t Baptize the baby”, maybe some reading and understand about Baptism will put both of your minds at ease.

Here is a few good articles on infant Baptism.

catholic.com/blog/tim-staples/infant-baptism

catholic.com/tracts/infant-baptism

catholic.com/tracts/early-teachings-on-infant-baptism

catholic.com/magazine/articles/infant-baptism-0

Luke 18:16
16 But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God.

God Bless
 
Is your husband going to wait until your child is old enough to make his/her own medical decisions before taking him/her to the doctor? Will you delay your child’s education until he/she can make a mature adult decision about the best school to attend? Will you avoid putting clothes on your child until he/she can convey a well thought out fashion sense?

More importantly, if you do decide not to baptize your child, and he/she grows up and decides to be an atheist, do you think you would have done a service or a disservice to him/her?

You’re asking the completely wrong question. The question is not whether the decision might be sinful, but whether or not it is completely and utterly foolish.
 
blehhitstu said:
My husband and I are both Catholic. I’m a Cradle Catholic. He was baptized just 1 or 2 years ago.

We’re pregnant. My husband does not agree with me, on baptizing our child as soon as possible. He thinks we ought to wait for the baby to become an adult, so it could decide whether or not it wants to get baptized.

Is it a sin to deny our infant baptism? IF it is a sin, my husband will be at peace with letting the infant be baptized.
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In this case, it is a sin. Remember, it takes very little to sin. All you do is disobeying, and you will sin.

By refusing to baptize your baby you have:
  • Abdicate your parental responsibility by refusing to do so and thus not bringing up the child in Catholic faith.
  • Breaking a promise (your marriage vow) is lying, and therefore a sin. Similarly, breaking any of that marriage vow like fidelity, is a sin.
  • Disobeying the teaching of the Church that requires child Baptism.
Please (let your husband know) do not refuse the gift of God in the Sacrament of Baptism for you lovely baby.
 
I think the OP basically knows the ramifications…based on how she worded her post.
“denying”.
That pretty much says it all.

I pray she finds the strength to discuss this with her priest and her husband together
 
Many Parishes either have, or require, pre-Baptism classes so that the parents are fully aware of the obligation and the ramifications of Baptism. You may want to consult with the Pastor of your church and enlist his help in this matter.
 
z_0101 said:
Many Parishes either have, or require, pre-Baptism classes so that the parents are fully aware of the obligation and the ramifications of Baptism. You may want to consult with the Pastor of your church and enlist his help in this matter.
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I think the OP’s spouse could be exempted from the class- as he was just baptized himself 1 or 2 years ago, and presumably received the instructions on baptism
 
Kielbasi said:
I think the OP’s spouse could be exempted from the class- as he was just baptized himself 1 or 2 years ago, and presumably received the instructions on baptism
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I disagree. RCIA isn’t meant as a comprehensive course in theology, but rather, as an introduction to the salient points in the Catholic belief system. Therefore, it doesn’t “exempt” anyone from further formation.

More to the point, if he just got out of RCIA, but is suggesting that it’s laudable to not baptize one’s baby, then it’s pretty clear that his understanding of baptism in the context of Catholic belief is flawed or deficient in some way. Attendance at a pre-baptism class is probably exactly what is called for. 👍
 
Gorgias said:
I disagree. RCIA isn’t meant as a comprehensive course in theology, but rather, as an introduction to the salient points in the Catholic belief system. Therefore, it doesn’t “exempt” anyone from further formation.

More to the point, if he just got out of RCIA, but is suggesting that it’s laudable to not baptize one’s baby, then it’s pretty clear that his understanding of baptism in the context of Catholic belief is flawed or deficient in some way. Attendance at a pre-baptism class is probably exactly what is called for. 👍
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+1

He needs the class if that’s what he really believes.
 
blehhitstu said:
My husband and I are both Catholic. I’m a Cradle Catholic. He was baptized just 1 or 2 years ago.

We’re pregnant. My husband does not agree with me, on baptizing our child as soon as possible. He thinks we ought to wait for the baby to become an adult, so it could decide whether or not it wants to get baptized.

Is it a sin to deny our infant baptism? IF it is a sin, my husband will be at peace with letting the infant be baptized.
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Catholic parents are supposed to Baptize their children as infants. Not baptizing a child as an infant is more typical of some Evangelical-type Protestants.

Your child can make their own choice of being a Catholic or not at Confirmation. 👍
 
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